Bridesmaid’s new boyfriend at wedding

I think you're being very nice by allowing him to come considering that it's a very short relationship. I personally think you should speak to her and just nicely let her know that the day of the wedding you will need her to be will be in attendance with the rest of the bridal party. Unfortunately your fiance would rather have only his groomsmen and close family getting ready with him. Her guest will need to make plans or just hang around the venue and have some drinks or stay in their hotel room until it's time for the wedding. I think if she knows in advance they can plan out things that he can do to occupy his time. I would also let her know that you would love for her to sit at the main table however I will say you may want to let that one go at the wedding because the fact that not only is he an out-of-town guests but he doesn't speak a lot of English and him spending the entire time at the wedding alone might be a little challenging. I don't think you're wrong to let her know that you want her there with the rest of the bridal party getting ready and spending time before the wedding and that he will need to make other plans as spending time with your FH is not an option Although don't word it exactly like that. Maybe during the dinner she can just sit with him so he's not completely alone. What do you think?

I would let her know that he is more than welcome to attend, but unfortunately he won't be able to get ready with your fiance because he wants to spend that time with his parents and groomsmen. I would also tell her that while you guys are getting ready it wouldn't be appropriate for him to be there. Your other bridesmaids probably wouldn't feel comfortable with a man they don't know being there while they get ready anyways. I would also express that all of the bridesmaids are getting ready with you and none of their significant others/dates will be there and that it is important to you that she spend that time with you. I'm sure he can figure something out to do. It isn't your job or your fiance's to entertain you bridal party's significant others. As seating for the reception, I wouldn't make any of the bridal party sit separate from their significant others/dates. I think it makes for an awkward time. I would either include all of the bridal party's significant others/dates at the head table or do a sweet heart table and let them sit with their significant others/dates.

View Quoted Comment I agree with everything said here! Also, you mentioned she’s had 3 “significant” relationships since last summer. That could be a sign that he won’t be around come time for the wedding. I would make plans ahead of time for him being there and not stress about it. If she’s not understanding about the points that concern you, that’s on her, not you.

Maybe he can just hangout in the hotel or house the day of and then attend the ceremony - just follow the crowd. I don't see anything wrong with that.

View Quoted Comment It's funny that you are saying that because I was thinking the same thing that they may not even be together by time the wedding comes. Hahaha.

I wouldn’t say anything unless she brings it up. If she does, make it very clear that your FH will be getting ready with his groomsmen only. This guy can manage to entertain himself for a morning lol

Personally, I wouldn’t mention anything until she brings it up. She may already be planning on having him entertain himself during the morning(I would think it would be common sense, but not all people think that way I guess LOL ) And if you were to bring it up preemptively it may seem to her like do you do not want him around. If she brings it up though, I would definitely let her know that you are happy he is there with her, but only closest friends and family will be in the room that morning sharing that special moment with your fiancé. As far as seating goes, I think it is very kind that you are planning to seat him next to her at the head table. It is such a hard situation coming because you don’t necessarily want somebody you hardly even know sitting at your head table which will be heavily photographed. But, with him not speaking English, seating him next to her is the kind thing to do. But hey, on the bright side, you said she has gone through a lot of relationships in a small amount of time, so there’s a chance they won’t even be together at the time of your wedding! Lol

I may possibly be running into a similar issue and my plan is to tell my bridesmaid that he needs to entertain himself until the wedding. Sorry not sorry.

Not the same, but similar issues. My little sister wanted to invite her new girlfriend to my wedding. I’m already paying for our families accommodations and plane tickets so in order to put my foot down I said sure, but she’s got to pay for her own plane and hotel.


My biggest issue is, this is the 3rd girlfriend she’s had in 2 years. I told her I didn’t want it to be a how I met your mother episode, the one where Ted brings different women to different weddings. Literally she will bring one girl to mine and another to my sisters in a year. “Name that b****”. That was my excuse and then my sister said that we will take a photo with family and one without.... that means the poor girl will be standing aside for the family photo cause everyone else is family. I think she finally understood what I was trying to say cause the girlfriend is no longer coming.

This is so strange to me, people really think they can bring their SOs to get ready with the rest of the wedding party? I’d wait until she brings it up. And if she does just explain those are private moments for close family and friends. And suggest he get to know another SO at the rehearsal dinner so maybe they can make plans to go to the wedding together. Every wedding my husband has stood up in (many of them happening outside of the state we live in) I’ve never asked, assumed or tried to get ready with the wedding party. That’s just cray. I’ve always been friendly with the other SOs ahead of the wedding so we can look out for each other at the ceremony and reception when our SOs are busy supporting the wedding.

View Quoted Comment Thanks for all the comments and advice. I think I will wait for her to bring it up again. Knowing her, she’ll be thinking about the plans for this, and she likes to go over details which is good as it will give plenty of time before the wedding so she / he can sort out alternative arrangements for him. I’ll keep it simple and just say that he could make arrangements to either meet up with some of my friends just before the wedding so he’ll have someone to sit with during the ceremony. An excellent suggestion of getting some time with people for the rehearsal so at least he’ll know some friendly faces.


She was married a couple of years ago and my SO was invited to spend the morning with her hubby to be and his friends, which is why I’m thinking she might now expect the same. Although my SO would’ve been fine just getting to the church on his own while I and the other 2 bridesmaids were getting ready with my friend.
As others have said, it might not even be an issue if they aren’t together. I hope they are as I want her to be happy.
I feel better about how to tackle this now anyway! I’ll keep you posted!

View Quoted Comment Thanks Rachel, I’m hoping there might be an opportunity for him to meet other people before the wedding and hopefully his English will improve in the meantime! I couldn’t even begin to learn his language as it’s a really really difficult language and no-one else I know speaks it.

She’s been a really good friend so I want to accommodate as much as possible just not to the detriment of that special time in the morning before the wedding with our nearest and dearest
Thanks for your advice. X

View Quoted Comment I love the direct approach Kaleigh. Hope it goes well for you!!