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Sabrina
Savvy June 2019

Bridesmaids in a Destination Wedding

Sabrina, on February 9, 2018 at 1:44 PM Posted in Planning 0 15

So I have this issue. I'm having a destination wedding, and I know having one is going to stop most people from going. How would I ask the girls to be my bridesmaids, more importantly my maid of honor and not know if they can come to my wedding because its a destination. In other words, well be getting married june 2019.. 1 year and 4 months. We are about to sign off on our destination location, and I wanted to send out the save the dates/invitations right away so people have more time to prep, schedule, and save. What happens if the girls I ask to be part of my wedding, can't go to my wedding. I mean bridesmaids I'm not too concerned about, but if I ask a girl to be my maid of honor and she can't go... then what? I had this girl in mind to ask, so i didn't ask her to be my maid of honor, but i did say would you come to my wedding if it were a destination wedding.. and she doesn't think she can afford it. I can't go now and ask her to be my maid of honor. I hope you guys understand where I'm getting at here.

15 Comments

Latest activity by Amanda, on February 17, 2018 at 7:06 PM
  • Pegs
    VIP July 2018
    Pegs ·
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    Well, I'm having a destination wedding and I ended up not having bridesmaids. It was too difficult to figure out. I ended up having my best friend as a Maid of Honor (which in Greek weddings, that's really all you have), and no one else.

    Do you need a Maid of Honor? I know a lot of people who have no bridal party at all, with their given situation. It won't be as big of a deal. Those who can come, will come and be there for you. But you may have to just go ahead and plan without them.

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  • muriel
    Champion June 2018
    muriel ·
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    Most couples save money having a destination wedding, because they would often have a much larger guest list if they had a wedding at home.

    If her presence is important to you and given that you will be saving money, can you use some of that money to pay her way?

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  • Km42118
    VIP April 2018
    Km42118 ·
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    No matter how much notice you give people, they just don't put your wedding first. Unfortunately. Had a lot of people back out last minute for us. But it is what it is with a destination wedding. Luckily my sisters and my BFF are able to go to my wedding and they are booked. But I did lose 3 BMs and mY FH lost almost all of his. They all said they could go and how excited they were, then one by one they bailed.
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  • LB
    Champion November 2016
    LB ·
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    Def didn't save money on my DW, but I guess it's depends on how you do it and how many people come. 80% of our invites attended.


    That being said, I just had a MOH (my sister) and did not have a BP. I would still ask her if that's who you want to be your MOH, but be understanding if she can't swing it.

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  • Mcskipper
    Master July 2018
    Mcskipper ·
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    Ask them first if they would/could go?
    im MOH in my bff’s DW. She started talking destination very early on in her engagement and at some point asked “if we have it in Mexico, you’d come right?” And I said I wouldn’t miss it for the world.
    Many months later she asked me to be MOH
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  • Mcskipper
    Master July 2018
    Mcskipper ·
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    To be fair, she did also run dates by me before she asked me to be MOH and accommodated my schedule in date selection
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  • Mcskipper
    Master July 2018
    Mcskipper ·
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    Sorry didn’t read the whole post I guess, didn’t see the conversation with her.

    For what it’s worth, I think it’s pretty normal not to have a bridal party in a destination wedding, so it’s okay if you don’t
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  • AnnaKay
    Super June 2018
    AnnaKay ·
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    I would say to just ask if I had a destination wedding during whatever date you guys pick would you be able to attend?
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  • Tracy
    Super January 2019
    Tracy ·
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    I'm having a destination wedding, but two factors. 1) I'm 51 years old, never married, so most of my friends,etc...are in a position to afford the travel. 2) my bridal party are my sisters-in-law and two nieces, who wouldn't miss it if they had to walk the whole way. Lol.
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  • A
    Savvy August 2018
    Amanda ·
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    While not ideal, we waited a few months after sending save the dates until we heard who was for sure coming to the wedding before asking anyone to be inbthe bridal party. I know for most weddings you ask your bridesmaids to be in your wedding very early on but unfortunately that just don’t always logistically work out when you’re not sure if everyone can afford to/want to come. It worked out since we sent the save the dates so early and everyone close to us got back to us with whether or not they could come immediately.
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  • Nicole
    VIP November 2017
    Nicole ·
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    You still have a lot of time to make any decisions. You can wait and see if she changes her mind before asking.
    I asked my bridal party when we told them that we had decided on a DW. It was about a year in advance which a lot of people will say is really early. I knew that I only wanted those 3 people to be in my side of the bridal party. If anyone wasn't able to go, I would just have less. I just told them that If they were able to attend the wedding, I would love for them to be a bridesmaid/maid of honor but that I completely understood if they were not able to be there.
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  • Ella Marie
    Devoted May 2019
    Ella Marie ·
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    Girl!!! I’m having a destination wedding May of 2019!

    I definitely see where you’re coming from! I got lucky. All 6 of my girls said yes and are super excited to travel. How close are you with the girl you were going to ask to be you’re MOH?! I mean you definitely don’t need a bridal party.

    Also as as far as STD we’re waiting to send them out until May/June. We’re getting our engagement pictures done in early May, so that’ll be perfect timing. We already booked our resort, officiant and photog as well!! So all the big stuff is out of the way!
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  • M
    Just Said Yes April 2018
    Melanie ·
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    Hi!! My FH and I are getting married in Playa del Carmen this April! We went from 8 in our bridal party, to 6, to 5 and as of now, the 5 on both sides are all coming (fingers crossed). Two of my bm’s (one was my moh) dropped out because of finances, but you have to remember that this is about you and your FH. Whoever makes the trip will have an incredible time celebrating the two of you and most importantly, your wedding is about what you want- you only get married once, right! Don’t take offense and focus your eyes on the the prize- the best day of your life, with your best friend, surrounded by those who love you!!
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  • Kimberly
    Devoted November 2018
    Kimberly ·
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    Mine is not a DW for me but it will be for about 90% of my guests and 100% of my Bridal Party. I just went ahead and asked them to be my MOH / Bridesmaids. When I asked, I said, I know this is a commitment because it will be in North Carolina, but I can't imagine having anybody but you by my side. If you can't come, I totally understand, but I wanted to ask you. They all said yes and I asked them over a year out. If something comes up with finances I will have to either look at my finances and help them or just understand that things happen and they'd love to be there but can't. It's all working out so far!

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  • A
    Dedicated May 2018
    Amanda ·
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    I have just my MOH for our DW. I waited until after I sent STDs and started to get a feel of people's reactions... some where "oh yeah, Mexico!" while others were "eh, we can't afford a trip..." Once I got the vibe from my bestie that she and her hubby were "all-in" for Mexico - I asked her to be my MOH.

    maybe wait and get a read on your potential MOH as the months get closer. I asked my MOH about 9 months before the wedding - plenty of time to get a dress.

    I had initially planned no MOH because I didn't want to her to feel obligated to travel, but as the months ticked off, I couldn't imagine getting married without her by my side, and after she booked her flight seemed like a great time to be like "so, you're going to be in Mexico anyways, will you be my MOH?"

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