Bridesmaids ignoring our chat.

In my experience, in group chats of many, people tend to be quiet and simply read and thumbs-up messages to avoid lots of notifications to others. I would suggest including in your message that you need everyone to write their opinion or to respond separately in some way if it's what you want, then they won't feel embarrassed about it. If they're downright ignoring information, that's another thing.

View Quoted Comment We have done that in the past too, and they don’t respond. I feel that they are downright ignoring me and the MOHS

Personally, i think it would be okay to say "hey, look, i need yalls responses so i know that everyone is on the same page. i need everyone to begin replying in some way or another just so i can breathe some knowing that everyone understands". i dont think it would come off rude or bossy, but rather firm and reasonable. its 100% reasonable that youd expect responses when talking about your wedding.

Personally, I get really irritated when I'm in a group chat and my phone keeps going off. Have you asked if maybe they would prefer something like FB messenger so that their phone isn't constantly buzzing ( or people responding while others are sleeping- I work nights so this is a big issue for me)? Maybe that or a alternate app that work similarly since you have a larger party. If you ask 1 question a week that is 11 notification responses that are just okays and that's only if other members don't actually converse.

Maybe they are just a little frustrated? I would hope that your wedding party isn't flat out ignoring you. Best of luck!

Two of mine don’t Always respond but they both also have kids. I just know people are busy and if it’s SUPER important, I reach out to them individually if not I see it as a “speak now or forever hold your peace” situation. I’d venture to say it’s not intentional, everyone is just not always glued to their phones.

I personally hate group messages. I also text my bridal party individually plus that way I can have a conversation with them and it's not just about wedding stuff. I was in a group chat for a wedding this summer, I usually responded right away but then would ignore it because I don't need to see everyone else's answers.

What are the questions about? I feel like if they relate to "How much can you spend on this? or "Is everyone okay with paying $200 for the Bach Airbnb?", people get uncomfortable. I'm just out of college and I have some girls in my bridal party that have also just graduated or are still in school so I knew money would be a touchy subject. For this reason, I spoke to them all separately so they didn't have to openly say in the group "No, I can't afford to spend $200 on an Airbnb + a gift + food/drinks." If it's not about money, they might be opening the message when they're busy and forgetting to go back and reply. I do this a lot.

I found out pretty early on that my maids were super quiet in the chat if they didn't agree with something I'd decided on. I'd send a photo of some sort of decor and they'd be radio silent, but if I sent a pic of some gorgeous shoes they were all over it. So I learned quickly that silence meant they didn't agree. I think at least they were being polite enough that if they didn't have anything nice to say, they just didn't say it at all. It was a bummer for sure, but eventually I just did separate texts to each lady for little questions and then for the big stuff, like their dresses, or meetups, it was a group chat. And even then sometimes it was a crap shoot.

I also agree with PPs that it's possible it's overwhelming to get so many responses back from so many people over the course of any given day. And that sometimes when people are busy, they mean to text back and forget. I sometimes check my messages to make sure it's not an emergency and then get back into the swing of things at work. I respond when I remember to, and sometimes that takes a day if I didn't think it demanded an immediate response.

I had 9 bridesmaids and I don't think they ever all responded to a group chat. They all worked full time jobs, some had kids, two jobs, other things going on, etc. So group messages were too overwhelming. I tried to keep wedding related texts or calls to once a month or less and when I needed to, I contacted individually.

Group chats are generally annoying and are not needed. If there is information you really need just reach out to each person individually so then you can talk about other things besides just your wedding.

I, and a lot of other people, do other like any group chats. It is like getting a work memo on your personal time. If you want to give information and get and answer, call them up and talk about. Or chat one on one, socializing too. These are friends D's or family. This is not a job. Use social manners or personal contact, not indirect group stuff from fearless leader to inferiors, the memo and conference style of business. A straight informational email, no response, file for future reference, most will read and act on. But huge numbers of brides complain about little response to group chats. Put personal contact back into the process, and talk to individuals, people respond better.

I think I would personally message each one who isn't answering, and explain to them how their actions are making you feel. Then ask them to respond when you and your maid of honors need them to help with the planning and reduce stress. You could play it as a bridesmaid responsibility as well.

I would be careful about playing it as a bridesmaid responsibility ( to participate in group chats.). I had not been involved with a WP where the bride tried group chats for a while, then last year was in 2. In spite of my reminding them that in usual non-wedding mode, I rarely am in a position to immediately respond to any chat, when they asked me, it was not until one got in a snit to me, you have not answered in 3 chats, and we can't have any discussions with only 3 of 6 people chatting, that she said, You agreed to be a MOH and this is a basic BM or MOH responsibility . And I said, well I made it clear when you asked... So if you are making it a responsibility, I quit. Find another MOH. A week later I found that she thought it was "just J being J." She sent everyone a group message that group chats we're a basic responsibility of the job (???), and she could not plan without them. All of us were required to answer. Next day I heard 2 others quit. People have jobs where they can only respond to emergencies during work hours. Some of us spend much of 24 hours where there is no cell service, and we are only at work computers, or none at all. You don't chat on a medical records computer, where every mode of communication is assumed to be about patients, logged and recorded. An no one has cells out, ever. One of the other BMs was a 911 dispatcher, who was on evenings and weekends , when bride and SSI MOH wanted to call. And, as others mention, kids. I pay attention to my family when I am with them. I am not raising my kids to monitor a screen all the time, and switch away from interacting with live people, to chat about something that can wait. Ring or vibrate, 15 times in 10 minutes as people weigh in, it disrupts anything you are doing. It is bringing 6-7 people into your work or home to converse. Different from a personal phone call or texting with one person, when both of you are free. If you make it a basic responsibility of being in the wedding, say so when you ask. And be prepared to lose people who are not available to communicate that way. Or, just revert to personal exchanges with each person. It is not a job, being a BM, and responding to work style conferences and memos is not a necessity.

The situation has been taken care of! Thanks for all the responses!