Bridesmaids / Groomsmen

The duties of being a bridesmaid are wear a dress in your chosen color and stand up with you on your wedding day. Some brides request a specific dress. Others just give guidance to buy a dress in X color in Y length. Shoes also are often more of a color suggestion, and if the dress is floor length, shoes really don’t matter since no one will see them. Hair and makeup are optional, as is hotel the night of.

View Quoted Comment I actually am not having anyone stand up with us. Just walk down the aisle but I feel like they don’t want to do that lol. I also don’t have the money in my budget to pay for hair and makeup for everyone as well as a hotel room. So I feel guilty putting it onto them

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It sounds like you are saying your "would be" bridesmaids don't want to be bridesmaids. I would just stick with your original plan of no wedding party and let the sisters attend the wedding as regular guests.

Adding 5 lackadaisical bridesmaids may be pressuring your partner to fill their side, too. Why add unnecessary stress? Stick to your original plan and support each other. You can even walk each other down the aisle and refocus this wedding back on yourselves.

There shouldn’t be any extra stress in being a bridesmaid since the only requirements are to get a dress as instructed by the bride and to stand with you the day of. They don’t even have to stay at the altar as you can have them sit down in reserved seats toward the front once they come down the aisle so it’s still only you and your partner standing the whole time. There’s no need to make them get hair and makeup or get a hotel for the night before unless they would already be doing so because of distance from your venue. But if they’re not seeming that excited to even do that, then it might not be worth the trouble to start coordinating with them.

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I agree with all of this.

None of the things you mentioned are obligatory, OP, in fact traditionally you pay for or provide accommodations for any out of town wedding party. That said, as guests, they would need accommodations in any case. You don't get to dictate whether they do pro hair and makeup, that's up to them. Likewise shoes are not properly assigned, the most you should suggest is a common color. As for the dress, you would first consult for budget and style, but many brides allow their parties to pick a dress they like, either in a given color range, a versatile color, or any color.

View Quoted Comment Doesn’t the bride usually pay for hair/makeup and hotel for bridesmaids and groomsmen though?

View Quoted Comment You shouldn’t really require that hair and makeup get done, but if you do, then yes, you should pay for it. But a lot of people will just get a quote from their HMUA and then tell the attendants, family, whoever they’re wanting to invite how much it is and ask if anyone wants theirs done. That way those who don’t feel comfortable doing their own can make the decision to pay the professional, and those who want to do their own aren’t forced into having it done. As long as it’s optional and you are upfront about the cost, it’s fine to have the bridesmaids cover their own service. In terms of hotel, if your wedding is local but you are asking your attendants to stay overnight with you or having them start the day so early that they have no choice but to grab a hotel, or if your venue is not where they live but you’re asking them to get additional nights in the hotel, then you should cover it. Again, all of this stuff should be optional for them. The only required purchase is the dress (and even then, you can make it easy on them by letting them pick something they already own).

View Quoted Comment The bride can offer to provide access to hair and makeup services or pay for them but she can not properly require pro services. If anyone wants to DIY or go to their own salon that’s fine too as long as they are there on time to help the bride get ready and for photos.

View Quoted Comment Bride only pays if she requires they get professional services. If you just offer the use of your hair and makeup artists, they can choose to get professional services or do it themselves. I have never heard of the bride and groom paying for hotel for anyone other than themselves.

It can be tough deciding whether or not to have a bridal party, especially when you don't have a huge crew of friends and fam around. It's cool that you chatted it out and now you're sorta leaning towards having one. Since the wedding is still a ways off, you've got time to figure things out. Maybe have a casual convo with your potential bridesmaids and see how they feel about the whole thing. Ultimately, do what feels right for you and your crew, and remember, it's all about celebrating your love!