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Dedicated October 2019

Bridesmaids’ gifts

Akirah, on July 2, 2019 at 7:14 AM Posted in Planning 0 5

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How important is it to give gifts of the exact same monetary value? I have three BMs and was planning to give them each a Coach wristlet with a $30 gift card inside to a place they each like. I was considering giving one of my BMs a gift card to cover a massage, but this would cost $65, not $30. I would be willing to do this for two reasons: this BM has less financial resources than the other two and more importantly, a few years ago when I separated from my first husband, she and her husband drove an hour with a truck to meet me and helped me move into my new place. In my whirlwind of emotions, I can’t recall if I ever thanked her for this with any type of gift.

I don't think my BMs would compare gifts or be petty about it either way. But perhaps it’s just best to give her a gift card for $30 and she pitch in the rest? Or I could give her the gift card and no wristlet. Thoughts?

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5 Comments

Latest activity by Denise, on July 3, 2019 at 7:55 PM

VIP June 2020
Jessica · on July 2, 2019 at 8:20 AM
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I would give them both the wristlet with the gift cards you choose in them. Maybe the ones who are getting the $30 gift card get a little something extra and don't give it to the person who got the higher value gift card.
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VIP June 2019
Formerbride · on July 2, 2019 at 8:43 AM
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In this case, I think it's fine. I don't really like it when brides pay for dresses or services for some BP over others because of their different financial situations. I wouldn't give them the gifts at the same time if they are obviously different.
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WeddingWire Administrator January 2025
Sinéad · on July 3, 2019 at 7:06 AM
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Hey Akirah!!
The gifts for your BM’s sound so thoughtful and I’m sure they will love them.
I would try as best I could to keep the gifts at equal value, you do not want it to feel like you are more thankful to one of your BM’s than the others as they are all sharing a part in your special day and standing by you. Your gift should reflect your appreciation for this, so gifting everyone roughly the same value gift is something that I would recommend.
I know that you mentioned that this one friend has been extremely supportive to you in the past. By all means, you should acknowledge this and treat her to a gift if you wish, but you should not tie it into your gift for her being your BM. It’s a completely separate matter and I would suggest treating her to a gift to thank her for her friendship separately to your bridesmaid's gifts.
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Super October 2019
Cassi · on July 3, 2019 at 1:26 PM
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I think this is a know your people type situation. All my girls got a bracelet that had a knot on it an their initials, a wine yetti, smoky mountain moonshine (our announcement of where we were getting married) and a drink of their preference. My sister drinks Fireball so she got 4 mini fireballs, one BM got a vodka and a fireball, another got 2 Gin, another got 2 titos and my Maid of honor actually got a small bottle of coconut rum because its her favorite. All the drinks I sent were sample sizes (what you buy at the liquor stores for like a buck or two a piece EXCEPT my MOH which got the small bottle of the rum (a little less than 750mL bottle I belive. But she was my MOH and I knew no one was going to pitch a fit about the difference.
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Super September 2019
Denise · on July 3, 2019 at 7:55 PM
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I only have one BM, my MOH, so I got lucky here. I would think that as long as you aren't telling everyone how much it costs, it shouldn't be a big deal. Who cares? It's the thought that counts if you ask me.
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