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Just Said Yes February 2021

Bridesmaids friends or family?

Izabeau, on December 2, 2019 at 5:26 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 1 23
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So immediately I'm already dreading choosing bridesmaids. I have some of the greatest friends I absolutely can not see not having as my bridal crew, it's the inlaws that are tricky. From my experience it's your closest friends and family that get picked (I've been a bridesmaid twice), however I'm trying to find a way to keep it small to just maybe 3 bridesmaids and not include future sister inlaws that way I have my support team without fake small talk. (One of the sis inlaws is super judgy and picky... we just don't click). I just don't know if I'm being selfish to my future families feelings, or if this is completely acceptable and maybe I'm saving them from the same feeling?? I just know that it's a little more stressful than it probably should when choosing my crew. 😒

23 Comments

Latest activity by Jennifer, on December 4, 2019 at 12:51 PM
  • N
    VIP September 2020
    Neeva ·
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    Definitely just include your friends and if anyone is offended, say that you want to keep it small.

    Your future sister in laws will still be honored guests at your wedding since they are in the family!

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  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
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    You're not obligated to have your future in laws in your bridal party. If your FS wants their siblings in the wedding party, they can ask them to stand on their side.

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  • Cher Horowitz
    Master December 2019
    Cher Horowitz ·
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    You're never obligated to include anyone in your bridal party. It really doesn't matter if they'll be your in-laws. Bridal parties should be reserved only for your absolute nearest and dearest!

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  • Kristen
    Master November 2020
    Kristen ·
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    You are not obligated and anytime I have seen a future sister-in-law included in the bridal party it is because the bride and she got along. It already sounds to me like you to do not get along so why have her be a part of an important position for your big day. If anyone says anything just say that you'd like to keep it small just your closest friends.
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  • Christina
    October 2020
    Christina ·
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    I agree with everyone above! You are not obligated to include future in-laws in your bridal party. I included my fsil in my bridal party because it was important to my FH but also because her and I have become really close & I wanted her up there with me!
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  • B
    Dedicated October 2019
    Brittany ·
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    I have 2 sisters-in-law and I did not include either of them in my wedding party. I have a great relationship with both, but chose to have a small wedding party (my 1 sister and 3 friends). No feelings were hurt and it was never even brought up! My biggest lesson I learned through wedding planning is to do things your own way. "Obligations" shouldn't matter. I didn't even invite estranged blood relatives that I knew it would be awkward and uncomfortable to see on my wedding day lol. Only include those that you feel will stand by your side wholeheartedly, and without any judgement, rather than including out of obligation!

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  • Devoted June 2020
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    I am having my FH’s sister and my older sister as bridesmaids and then my sister in law is going to maybe do a reading or something. She’s also going to be walking my newborn niece down the aisle for me. I wasn’t in her party and she’s not really in mine but I wanted to do something else for her. Fortunately there are no hard feelings with this decision.
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  • Erica
    Savvy June 2020
    Erica ·
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    Honestly your bridesmaids should be whoever YOU want. Mine are my 4 closest friends. Neither of my sister in laws. They are not my friends, they are family by marriage. They aren’t who I call for opinions or when I need to talk, vent or when I need a girls night. Don’t feel bad for not asking them. It’s all about you and who you want. Remember it’s your day, not theirs!
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  • I
    Just Said Yes February 2021
    Izabeau ·
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    Thank you all for the wonderful advice! I definitely feel better about deciding to go with my closest friends and let go of the guilt. It's so easy to get wrapped up in caring too much about other peoples feelings.
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  • M
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
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    Choose the people closest to you
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  • Samantha
    Dedicated April 2021
    Samantha ·
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    I will gain 2 sister-in laws, one is a sister of my FH and one is married to his brother. I only chose to have his sister stand up.

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  • Kelsie
    Devoted March 2020
    Kelsie ·
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    You are not obligated to put anyone in the bridal party! If you want your three closet friends, then you do that. I have 4 bridesmaids and that's it. I don't have any sisters though. My fiance isn't that close with his brother, so his brother is an usher and not a groomsmen. If you wanted to, you may be able to give her a job so she feels that she is contributing to the wedding.

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  • I
    Just Said Yes February 2021
    Izabeau ·
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    This was part of my dilemma! My FH sister lives out of state (this is the one I would love tho have as a bridesmaid) and the other sister is married to his brother.
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  • I
    Just Said Yes February 2021
    Izabeau ·
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    He's not close to his brother either so this kinda helps with neither of us having siblings in the wedding party... but I just know there will be some tension from it at family dinners to come 😫
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  • Samantha
    Dedicated April 2021
    Samantha ·
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    I was also in the same boat as not getting along with the sister in law married to his brother and i didnt want to feel obligated to have her stand up just because I was having his sister stand up. Both sides kept saying it was my choice. Not going to lie, it did create some tension for a little while between his brother, wife and us, but everything is fine now.

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  • Kelsie
    Devoted March 2020
    Kelsie ·
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    Yes, and I totally understand that! I think giving them something to do for the wedding will help. Like us making his brother an usher. His brother is also into graphic design and doing some signs for us.

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  • Jennifer
    VIP August 2021
    Jennifer ·
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    Choose who is closest to you. If that is more than 3 people, make it more than 3 people! You are under no obligation to ask your future sisters in law to be in your bridal party if you don't want them to be!

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  • Karen
    Savvy April 2022
    Karen ·
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    You are not obligated to have your future in laws as bridesmaids. A bridesmaid should be people who you feel should share the special day with you. I have 3 future sister in laws and i will only be having one of them as a bridesmaid, along with my 2 sisters, and 3 gf's.

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  • I
    Just Said Yes February 2021
    Izabeau ·
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    It's not that I don't necessarily want them, I would love to have my FH sister, but if I had I have to have the other sister who is married to his brother and we get along, but we arent as close. So I'm left with just friends or friends, a sister inlaw, and awkward family gatherings probably from then on out. lol
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  • Catherine
    VIP November 2019
    Catherine ·
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    Well i picked my best friend since childhood, my sister and my now step daughter. i didn't pick any future in-laws. i have a lot of cousins i'm close with and i didn't want anyone feeling left out so i went with none. same with my friends - i didn't want any hurt feelings so i picked the one thats basically a sister. its ultimately your day, your choice.

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