Bridesmaids Fighting

I took a break and called each one to help bridge the gap between them and diffuse the situation. Even still I heard about it from a BM that wasn't bickering and my FH, who works with one of the BM that was fighting. Only one I haven't heard about it from is my sister, LOL, and she probably got lost with the group text messages.

Oh goodie.

No advice on any of this. Just gently remind them about the shoes.

And your MOH and BM need to just sort this out.

How much are the shoes from the dyables place? Did you ask the girls their budget ahead of time? Is it possible they don't like any of the styles? I personally hate dyeable shoes. Is it possible they can have a shoe that isn't orange?

If they don't have the dress by the wedding then they will have to be guests. Unless you are okay with them standing up there wearing whatever. They literally have one job and that is to get the dress.

As for the shoes, I have to be honest and say that if you were forcing me to not only wear orange shoes but to buy them as well then I would go the cheapest route possible. While you are allowing them to get the style they want you are still forcing them to buy from a certain company and get a specific color. I personally feel like that cost should fall on you. There can't possibly be a way for them to wear them again. I would tell them that they can get whatever shoe they want.

It sucks that they are involving you in the bickering. I would just ignore it and tell them to work it out amongst themselves.

It sucks that they are acting this way, if they dont have their dress they will sit as a guest. if they had an issue with the shoes they needed to talk to you before hand. normally of you tell someone a certain shoe is required its up to you to pay but requirinf a color isnt aa big a deal for me unless they told you they could not afford or find shoss from there. i looked at dyables and some were not thag terribly priced but i dont know whag a custom lot color would be. in the end while it is frustratung only you can decide how worked up you want to get on shoes.

Demanding your bridesmaids to wear dyed shoes is ridiculous. Let everyone choose the shoe color they want.

You demanding that they wear dyed orange shoes is absolutely ridiculous. They buy the dress and that's it. You should have either bought the shoes that you wanted for them or told them any nude or black heels would work. FFS.

I would just ignore it and let them figure out their drama. I do agree with everyone, though, that you made things too complicated with all the ordering and it may be contributing to their frustration. Just be aware. The girl who bought her shoes from Payless was probably looking to save some money because the other shoes are above her budget. If I were her and you told me I had to dye them for an extra cost, I'd be furious and hurt. It's a quick way to lose friends so I would suggest thinking this through as to what is really important to you. Dyed shoes or your friendship. I would offer to pay for the shoes if I was in your position. As far as the dress, just suggest that the BM call the company to rush the order and again, offer to pay for that because rush shipping is not cheap.

I'm sorry I disagree I don't think it is ridiculous to ask your BM to wear orange dyables. Being a bridesmaids or MOH is more than buying a dress. That's a role you play for your bride and in accepting that role you know there are expenses you will incur. You plan for it and if you accept the role you need to accommodate the brides request within reason. Makeup and hair I can see as questionable but the dress and shoes come on?

There is really no advice at this point because the dress will either be here or not. I used Azazie as well and was pleased that my BM dress came about a week or 2 early so you may be surprised. The key is communication, If the BM communicate with you then you can make acceptions etc. Only thing is you should have set a deadline for them to order buy and kept checking in that they ordered it already. In a not hounding way. BTW: Maybe there is a reason she can't wear dyables... Just communicate.

To hopefully ease your mind on one thing - Azazie ships the dresses faster than the time they give you, or at least that's been my experience with my girls.

@kelly dress and shoes are fine, but it's up to the bride to be considerate of the budget the BMs have. In this situation, if a girl was trying to get her shoes at Payless, clearly there is a budget issue here that is being ignored. We're only saying this advice to the OP because she could be damaging friendships with the demands she's placed on them for the wedding. If the BMs are already fighting then they are probably all feeling frustrated with this wedding and there has to be a reason for that. Dyed orange shoes sound like a definite reason for people to be frustrated since they have to spend the money and will likely not be able to wear them again.

I am so sorry you're going through this I am sure it will all work out. As far as the shoes it has always been part of it. My girls all bought silver shoes and none of them complained about it. I think that shoes are part of what you purchase being a bridesmaid. I am not sure why on WW people say that isn't required. I can't imagine going to a wedding that the bridesmaids all look just random.

Silver shoes aren't orange shoes. Silver shoes you can wear with a variety of colors. Orange shoes not so much.

Let's be realistic here. How many times do you say "oh boy wish I had some orange shoes."

I mean you have to really love orange to want to wear them again. I had orange michael kors flats I used to love wearing but it was ridiculously difficult to match my outfits to them lol

OP, if it's not custom sized dresses, Azazie ships really fast. I am guessing these are short dresses so people will see the shoes, hence the specific color request. I would strongly consider finding an alternative shoe on Amazon, maybe in a complimentary color, so it won't look as random if 2 girls are wearing the orange and 2 are wearing the other. Hope it works out either way.

Can you post an example of the orange in question? I'm just curious as to how orange it really is.

Also, what color are the dresses? Is the orange supposed to be a fun pop of color? Like Gray dresses and Orange shoes?

I'm not mandating what shoes my girls wear. I'll probably just ask that they wear something neutral.

Also, It sucks that the girls are bickering and stuff. But I would just call them individually and speak to them about it.

Big mistake leaving BMs to shop on their own.

SMH! *raises hand* Been there and still dealing with that! I never knew it was so difficult to get along or at least play nice. *sigh*

I'm sorry that you are dealing with this. They just need to work it out.

As far as the dress and shoes. If budget was an issue then that should have been communicated a long time ago so that the necessary accommodations could be made.

It sucks when BMs fight or complain about the wedding. A BM spread rumors about my wedding at her work and she works with FH. I had to confront her about it, it sucked.

If you are requiring the color and buying of the shoes from a certain place, you should be paying for them.