Bridesmaids expectations

We didn't have a bridal party, too much drama around it. We just wanted our friends and family to come celebrate our marriage with us and have fun. 😺

We are treating our wedding parties like honored guests! I picked out the color of attire, but we are letting them have full say in what they choose to wear in that color (like literally, FULL say… no running things by us for approval, etc. just whatever they feel good & comfortable in), and we are paying for everybody’s attire as well. I want my girls to feel gorgeous, so I am paying for their hair & makeup to be professionally done (I of course asked them if they wanted professional services first), and made sure no one has to get up early to have services done. That’s just too long a day! So HMU won’t begin until 1:00. We are giving each BM & GM gifts tailored to their interests, as well as paying for fun experiences for them (since it’s a destination wedding). We are also going all out for our rehearsal dinner for them- we are hosting it at a funky upscale restaurant very known to the area, and will be having a five course meal with open bar. I’ve heard so many people say they dread being in a wedding party because it is so expensive and so much time & work. I didn’t want anybody to feel that way about our wedding- I just want them to have fun and feel honored!

I’m show up in the dress and have fun

We are not having a bridal party at all!! Too much potential drama and wedding planning is overwhelming enough as it is. We are happy we chose not to have one!

I didn't have a lot of expectations for my bridesmaids. I've known my girls for years and we have been close since then. And we all get along really well.

All I asked for them was to wear a convertible dress that I thought would fit the theme in which they loved and all styled differently. I paid for the dresses btw. And then to just wear any silver jewelry and shoes to match.

They helped me where I did need help such as putting together the centerpieces and party favors in which they were glad to do because they said they wanted to contribute.

For my bachelorette all I wanted was to have a small vacay with them and it was soooo much fun. And they took care of 90% of everything like food, my outfits, matching outfits, starbucks drinks, gas, etc! (I took care of the airbnb and we used my car to travel.) But I honestly didn't expect them to take care of EVERYTHING, which was very sweet of them to do. Therefore, I made sure to get them really nice gifts as a thank you.

I am not a fan of 'working' bridal parties so for ours all I expected was for my girls to wear the dresses we agreed on (I gave them parameters and they picked dresses within them) and be there to support me on the day, and that's exactly what they did!

The only pre-wedding event we had was my bachelorette party but I planned most of it myself because since it was a weekend bachelorette, I wanted to ensure there was consultation with everyone as to whether the plans suited them, their budgets etc. Thereafter once we had the bulk of the admin for it organised, my bridesmaids planned out the activities for while we were there, which was lovely of them and we all had a great time!

We are definitely more of a show up and have fun. Since we are doing a destination wedding for our entire bridal party we've kept things very chill. We will be doing a welcome brunch, the rehearsal, and our rehearsal dinner all paid for by us. Day of hair and makeup, they get to wear the dress they picked out in navy, then party.

I just wanted my girls to show up and have fun. We were totally drama free. Honestly, these are supposed to be the people you're closest to I don't understand why any bride should feel it's ok to dictate and put demands on their bridal party. I gave them parameters but they each picked their own dress. I didn't ask them to do anything but they volunteered and helped me in so many ways. I don't know what I would have done without them.

I just expected my bridal party to show up and celebrate with us. I was lucky in that my bridal party wanted to be involved. But I would have never expected or required anything outside of showing up in the requested outfit on the wedding day.

I have a decently large-ish bridal party and am honestly giving them pretty much free reign in terms of dress (just asked them to be long and navy), hair and makeup. I just want them to show up (on time, one of my bridesmaids is a tardy pants lol), have fun, and make sure I remember to eat on wedding day lol. My maids and matron of honor are incredibly helpful and allow me to bounce ideas and such off of them, and two bridesmaids are already married and have given me tons of advice. My wedding is also gonna be the last of like 17294 we have in our circle, so I want to just make it a chill, fun and not expensive experience for everyone!

I don't really expect them to do much planning, or anything like that before the wedding. Their pre-wedding commitments would be turn to up to fittings. I'm also paying for most of their expenses.

But I'm picking out the dress, I'm choosing their hair styles and makeup looks, and my word is final. They'll all have matching mani-pedis, and I'm insisting on similar shoes, and identical jewelry.

I was the latter, hated the idea of putting my friends and family to work and also just can't get on board with the concept of picking out a dress for another woman. I told everyone to pick a floor-length dress in some shade of dark red and let me know if they wanted in on on-site hair and makeup - otherwise it was pretty much just "show up and have a good time." No rehearsal the day before either, though that was mostly about family drama but also about their convenience as it would've required earlier travel for most.

I do wish I'd given them a more structured plan for the morning-of, bc I feel like I missed out on the "getting ready" experience by being too flexible (told everyone to arrive ~30 min before their appt time so they could sleep in if they had a later appt). It put me in the position of having to direct traffic as each BM arrived, and everyone kind of floated about between appts so I really didn't get quality time with any of them. No regrets on not picking out their dresses or putting them to work, though. I've always felt strongly about those things and I'm glad I stuck to them.

I am the show up in the right color dress and let the professional hair and makeup people work on you for pics. I don't even expect them to come to the bachelorette LOL. I guess I am low maintenance....

I feel like i was super lenient - like almost to a fault, sometimes