Bridesmaids Dropping Out 2 months before

I would just talk to your BM yourself. With it being a DW I would think they'd have flights and everything booked now. Maybe just ask them how their travel plans are going and wanted to find out flight info. I always share my flight with people I am flying with so they will know if my flight is delayed etc.

I’m sorry some of your ladies aren’t able to make it. I understand, I’m having a DW as well and have gone through quite the roller coaster ride. One of my girls does not have her flight and I’m 43 days out. I would just talk to the other girls and see if their plans are solid. Good Luck!

Maybe the one cant afford to travel. I mean, be reasonable, not everyone has the money to go blow on tickets to a destination wedding. Sometimes even just having to buy the dress out of pocket is hard.
I understand your upset. But you need to realize she may have a different financial situation than you think
It's honestly one of the reasons I'm not doing a destination wedding AND why my bridesmaids can choose their own dresses as long as they are the color I ask and long style. Which is not too much to ask.
Perhaps you should ask her if she can afford to go. I mean I also know your putting alot o money into your wording and may not be able to afford to help her. But at least youd know what's going on and maybe see her "dropping out" a little differently
Also dont make her tell the group that is embarrassing and could be hurtful.

I am not having a DW so I do not know what that is like. But being reasonable about it just being a DW in itself has to keep you level-headed. Some people cannot afford that. My one best friend always says she will have a destination wedding and she literally will only have her sister and myself as her bridesmaids and I always tell her oh hell yeah I will be there! It's a vacation in itself for FH and I when that time comes around! Some people cannot afford this or thought they could then realistically cannot. It should have been a stern discussion when you even asked them especially for a DW.

I would not force this other girl to tell the group she is dropping out, that is kind of between you and her. I think you need to just be upfront with other bridesmaids and more stern as to who is coming and if their tickets are all in order. The other should not drop out just because she doesn't know your sisters that well. That would be a crappy thing to do on her part, because the day is about you, not who she knows or doesn't!

I’d personally just have a conversation with the other bridesmaids to confirm they’ll still be in attendance.

I don't know if any option will totally eliminate the possibility of others dropping out. If they can't swing it money-wise, or have other conflicts, a certain person telling them that someone else dropped out won't change that. Basically, what will be, will be.

However, I do think you should reach out to your other two bridesmaids that aren't your sisters and kindly and calmly confirm their plans, as PPs have said.

As the bride I would simply tell the other bridesmaids myself. Why is it important that the BM that dropped out explain herself to the group? Her responsibility was only to you. You should voice your concerns about the remaining party's attendance to the rest of your BMs. Otherwise you risk coming across as a person that wants to guilt trip people into participating. I would only want people to participate that WANT to participate not because they feel like they have to.

View Quoted Comment Very valid points. However, if it is that financially she can’t afford it then she should have not agreed to be a BM in the first place right?

Hi there,

So, I had some very similar issues. My best friend of 15 years bailed on being a bridesmaid 2.5 months before my wedding; she also could no longer attend my wedding due to a work conflict as she received a promotion and would be on work probation during my wedding. This really sucked and bummed me out hardcore, but I did what everyone told me not to do, and I asked another friend of mine if she would fill in as bridesmaid; she happily accepted and ended up being an awesome bridesmaid to have!

I also had one bridesmaid who lived in Texas.... 1 month before my wedding she informed me that she was moving to England to be with her new boyfriend of 7 months (even though she committed to being my bridesmaid 18 months ahead of time). She assured me she was still going to be at the wedding, but she hadn't picked up her bridesmaid dress yet or booked a flight to Los Angeles for my wedding, so I was really really nervous that she wouldn't show. I was honestly nervous all the way up to my wedding day, until I actually saw her standing in front of me at my venue lol

Anyway, my advice is this, to make yourself feel less stressed, the girls that have not yet backed out, I would tell them how stressed & nervous you are with the other girls backing out and ask them if they can confirm they'll still be there for your big day. I don't think there's anything wrong with doing that. I also would try to get in contact with the flaky bridesmaid and say something along the lines of, "I really would love for you to be part of my big day, which is why I asked you to be a bridesmaid, but I'm getting a little stressed about you not getting your dress yet and not communicating often. I understand life can get crazy & hectic, so if you want to back out but have been too afraid to say so, just tell me now please. If you do want to still be a bridesmaid, but have just been busy, that's fine, I just would feel better if I knew you still wanted to be my bridesmaid or if you would rather be a guest. Thanks for letting me know".

Anyway, that's my advice. I hope this helps and I wish you luck! Wedding planning can definitely have it's sucky moments, especially when you have to rely so much on other people, but you will get through it all and your day will be so wonderful!

Thank you all for your advice! It looks like my gut was right- I was leaning towards just honestly sharing my feelings of worry with the other bridesmaids and double confirming in light of the current situation- and that's what I'll do! You're right Brittany, there isn't much I can do to prevent it, what will be will be.

As a side note about the DW, since a few commented on this- it is actually only half a DW, as my fiancé's family lives in the town. We are having the wedding there due to financial and legal reasons. I asked all of the bridesmaids over 1 year in advance, and made it very clear that I understood traveling abroad would cost money and time and that I would totally understand if this was something they couldn't do, not to feel bad and just tell me then if they could't. (I live abroad however, and have met all of these friends while abroad- 3 of them still live in countries other than their home so international travel isn't a rare thing for them). I also only asked that they choose a long blue dress, have suggested several affordable hotel options (less than $50/night), am paying for their hair and makeup and a welcome dinner the night before. I do know the reasons for the second bridesmaid bailing, there are just too many details to list here, suffice it to say they're dubious.

Anyway- thank you all for your support and advice!

View Quoted Comment She could have been able to afford it then had a financial problem arise. I recently experienced that. Saying yes to a friends DW as a guest, then wound up with a 3000$ dental bill, root canals are SO not FUN
However in my situation my friend called off her DW and told my guy and I that it was too hard for alot of her guests to go and even her court. She decided to have a wedding locally instead. But she did tell us that the financial was a huge factor in calling it off and moving locations.

I am dealing with this same situation right now. I have asked 6 bridesmaids to be in my wedding in the UK. They all confirmed and seemed excited, but now that it has come time for me to send out dress details, it seems as if everyone is to not be heard of. No one has returned my emails or texts about it except two.

This is what i've decided to do. Go ahead and make a plan B. My other half has 6 groomsmen. I know that if i have 3 at max show up I can have each be walked down the aisle by 2 groomsmen and have everything still look classy. I'm going to go ahead and send the dress info out and tell them they have until a certain date to order the dress and then about a week before have my Maid of Honor email them all reminding them to get the dresses or let me know if they can't make it. If they haven't ordered the dresses, I am going to assume they aren't in the wedding and aren't coming.

I know it hurts and I know it sucks, but like some others have commented- some may not be able to afford to come, and others- to be honest- may just not make you a priority. I had a friend that i flew all the way across the country to make it to their wedding and to a 1 day turn around and was supposed to be in mine and they dropped out due to the fact that they wanted to buy a "million dollar home" and that they "could only fly first class". I thought- well if u can afford that home, you can afford to come across the country. I think it was just an excuse that they didn't want to come.

I'd just have a back up plan with the ones that do want to be in it and do show up and know that it's your day and the ones that do come you'll have a good time with no matter what- because those are the ones that are really making the effort.

My best friend had a destination wedding there was no way that I could justify spending almost $1000 for a weekend in Vegas and a dress I would never wear again. At the time I was struggling to pay my rent some months. I instead volunteered to take care of her dogs all weekend. She was very grateful because her dogs are her babies and she knew she wouldn't have to worry about them at all. I still helped her with planning and helped with her celebration party when they came home. I think that if someone wants to be part of your day they will find a way to support you even if they can't physically be there.

Unfortunately, there isn't much you can do here. I would speak to the other bridesmaids and be honest with them with what has happened and your concerns. Speak to them individually, not in the group just in case another one (or 2) want to drop also but may be embarrassed to say so in public. I know you said you gave them over a year notice and all, but sometimes because it seems so far away it doesn't seem so expensive or like it would be an issue; but when the time gets closer, you realize the actual dollar amount and other financial issues might come up, or they just don't feel comfortable spending that amount at the moment.