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Dedicated September 2021

Bridesmaids dresses - who buys?

Anna, on March 30, 2019 at 3:16 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 16

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Hi everyone!
So to preface I’m Russian and my fiancé is American. Since I spent most of my life in another country, I don’t know too much about American wedding traditions. I’ve only been to a handful of weddings.
My question is does the bride usually buy bridesmaid dresses for bridesmaids? I went to my best friends wedding and she didn’t really ask anyone to be a bridesmaid but just asked us to pick a navy dress that covered our shoulders. We purchased it ourselves. In Russian tradition you only have one friend on brides and grooms side, sort of like a witness. So we never have to worry about attire. If I have 3-4 brides maids and ask them to purchase their own dresses but just either in same color of cut, would that be considered rude? We are on very tight budget and don’t really have money for either groomsmen suits or bridesmaid dresses.
Thanks in advance for the advice!

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16 Comments

Latest activity by Anna, on April 3, 2019 at 1:57 PM

Super May 2019
Kiki · on March 30, 2019 at 3:36 PM
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No bridesmaids pay for their own dress.
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Expert September 2020
Christine · on March 30, 2019 at 3:44 PM
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Not rude at all! Bridesmaids are typically expected to pay for their own dresses and accessories.
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VIP August 2019
Futuremrsk · on March 30, 2019 at 3:58 PM
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Bridesmaids typically pay for their own dresses. And it is completely fine to ask for a certain color, fabric, length etc. If you want them to have the same dress however, make sure you take into consideration their budgets. While 1 may be able to afford a 150 dollar dress, another may not.
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Super May 2019
Victoria · on March 30, 2019 at 4:34 PM
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My bridesmaids were prepared to pay for their own dress, but we paid for $80 for all of them and they paid the remainder (if there was one). They normally pay for their own dress, though!
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Super September 2019
Alyssa · on March 30, 2019 at 4:43 PM
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Traditionally I think bridesmaids pay for their own dresses I have heard of a few occasions I guess where brides have forced their bridesmaids to wear certain dress or force them to get something so then they pay for it but I think that's pretty rare for the most part bridesmaids are just supposed to expect that they are paying for their own when they accept being a bridesmaid
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VIP September 2019
CDickman · on March 30, 2019 at 4:55 PM
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They pay for own dress but always ask the budget.
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Dedicated December 2021
Sandy · on March 30, 2019 at 5:11 PM
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American tradition is bridesmaid pays for their own dress. For a lot of Asian cultures, the bride covers almost everything for the wedding party, including their dress. If you can't afford it, just have an honest conversation with your party.
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Super July 2019
Justine · on March 30, 2019 at 6:26 PM
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Bridesmaids pay for their own dresses!
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Beginner July 2021
Nichole · on March 30, 2019 at 6:48 PM
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They usually expect to pay for their own dresses. A common gift for them is either jewelry for the wedding. I am having mine buy the shoes for the ceremony but I am going to buy them comfy shoes for getting ready and the reception.
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Super June 2019
Eamsee · on March 31, 2019 at 1:11 AM
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The tradition is that bridesmaids pay for their own dresses, but if the bride is requiring specific accessories, such as certain shoes or jewelry, or for professional hair/makeup to be done, then the bride pays for that.
The way to go about it is to speak with each bridesmaid privately, one on one. Ask them what budget they are comfortable. It is also very nice to ask them if there are any specific styles/cuts of dresses that they are uncomfortable wearing. For example, my Maid of Honor has an H-cup bra size. Because of her large chest, she is very uncomfortable in a strapless or deep cut dress. It's always a nice gesture to take each ladies comforts into consideration.
Once you speak with each lady you will be able to set a budget for the dresses. Brides usually have the bridesmaids all in the same dress, or have each lady get their own. So, for example, We got the bridesmaids dresses at David's Bridal. I asked that the dresses be full length, "mesh" fabric, an the color "mint". That gave them a selection of about 30 dresses and each lady picked a dress in a cut and style that they were most comfortable with. So, the dresses will have uniformity with the length, fabric, and color, but will reflect the personality of each lady through their different styles.
I hope this helps and congratulations on your engagement! Good luck with your planning!
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Dedicated June 2020
Anastasia · on March 31, 2019 at 11:59 AM
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Not rude at all. Bridesmaids and groomsmen pay for their own attire, and normally any other expenses like lodging, etc when they are part of the wedding
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Dedicated June 2020
Anastasia · on March 31, 2019 at 12:00 PM
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Also, normally bridesmaids appreciate guidelines like color and style while still being able to pick their own dress! I think you're being great by allowing that.
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Legend July 2019
MrsD · on April 1, 2019 at 11:25 AM
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I've never heard of the bride paying for bridesmaids dresses. I would discuss with your bridal party what they can afford, then pick a dress from there for them to purchase.
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Dedicated September 2021
Anna · on April 3, 2019 at 1:54 PM
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Thanks! I’d hate for them to buy something that they can’t wear multiple times/or that they don’t like
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Dedicated September 2021
Anna · on April 3, 2019 at 1:56 PM
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Thank you for the advice! Yeah I’ll definitely ask them what they feel more comfortable/ beautiful in and about their budget.
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