Bridesmaid’s Dress Drama

I completely understand how you feel, I had also picked out a dress for my BMS that i loved but at rhe end of the day i also what them to feel comfortable and able to move and dance the night away with me.. so I had them pick out 3 dress that were ivory and lace to try on and I was happy with that.. maybe go with you sis in law so she can try on similar to the style you like..

Sounds like we have the same style for our bridesmaids lol. My sister is my matron of honor and she complained it was scratchy also, I aughed at her and said then don't put your arms down.. dance with them up all night lmao 😂. But very otapoken and say whatever I want haha. My maid of honor and other bridesmaid said they loves them. Said the dress was a little heavy, but they def wanted to go with them bc they look amazing. Which I'm sure your girls look amazing as well, so it's your wedding, go with what you want and not what others want. ..if you let other decide for you, you'll look back later at your pics and regret not going with your choice. Don't let her ruin the fun of your wedding planning. Here are my girls dresses. I have 2 Jr bridesmaids not pictures.

View Quoted Comment Yes that totally makes sense! I’ll definitely go and see what she has in mind. I always wonder tho, if the roles were switched would she care if I didn’t like the dress lol.

View Quoted Comment Omg your comment about not putting your arms down is amazing!! LOL! Wow I love your dresses!! So gorgeous and I love the different styles! Yes, I’m going to have to learn to stand up for what I want with my future in laws and do what I love or want. We’ll see how that goes. Thank you for sharing! I’m glad to know I’m not the only one who’s going thru it lol.

View Quoted Comment Thank you. Good luck with whatever you decide girly, but make sure you stick to your guns..it's your day! Make it the way you want! 💖😊

I don't think you're wrong. She should've said something in the beginning. And if the others have already paid theres nothing you can do. One of my bridesmaids asked what color shoes I want them to wear. I said nude. She then said well I'll probably just wear black. Like what the f?

Sequins are scratchy! My skin, as well as one of my daughters, would be so raw after a very short time wearing a sequin dress, that I'd likely be tending to its healing for a week or so. My other daughter would probably only need a couple of days.

Since the dresses haven't been ordered yet, talk with the shop about the possibility of using the deposits towards another dress, then pick something comfortable out. Sparkle and shine cam come from other less scratchy fabrics, or from fantastic accessories.

View Quoted Comment Might be a little too late for this tho, being that her other ladies in the bridal party put the downpayment down. :/

OP, it may have been helpful to see how everyone felt about the dresses in the beginning. However, it’s too late now & she shouldn’t have waited last minute to tell you. I’d tell her it’s too late at this point bc the other ladies have made a payment & she will have to do the same or choose not to be in the party. How does your FH feel?

Quite honestly if she had voiced this beforehand then I would say keep looking but if your other girls have paid I think she needs to guy the dress or attend as a guest. Maybe I’m harsh but I find this ridiculous.

I guess another option would be seeing if the shop could switch do a different dress if they’re willing & all you all can agree on one in time

View Quoted Comment I suggested she actually talk with the shop. The other dresses haven't been ordered yet, what's the harm in asking?

View Quoted Comment I said that after my initial comment. My phone posted beforehand. There’s no harm in asking tho & I think she should, but I imagine it is a bit frustrating that her FSIL said nothing to her & waited until the last minute to complain when everyone else is on board.

Had a bridesmaid lie to my face about getting her dress. When I called to cancel (because we changed our date), the sales rep rattled off the names who those who had purchased, and her name wasn’t one of them. To this day she doesn’t know I know.

The dress may be scratchy to others, but they think the looks are worth it. Or it may be that the metallic or plastic elements that make it sparkly, or the fabric chemical treatment that makes such gowns less fire hazards/more fire retardant, actually gives only her a mild allergic reaction, she feels prickly all over. And that is real. And if she feels that way trying it on for 15 minutes, come wedding day, 3-4 hours after dressing, she could build up such a rise in histamines that she breaks out in hives, Or worse. I would never ask someone to wear a dress that has boning to stay up, that only does for a particular figure if adjusted so tight she had a suffocating,can't breathe feeling. Or one with a low cut that exposed one full breasted person's breasts, while smaller busted people were not exposed. And no amount of bridal privileges to choose things for her wedding should force discomfort or unhappiness on her friends. Heels too high, scratchy materials, modesty issues, need to be worked out. Your chosen WP are family and friends, not models or props. You might consider a compatible style just for her, not sparkly or with sequins of plastics, but shiny polyester jacquard weave that shimmers as you move, or a shiny (not matte) satin. A little different for one won't make the roof fall in or destroy your wedding day. Tell salon to order all other dresses, no hold-up while you find a solution. . As to her going to your FI first, many people consider it an unwritten rule of weddings and long term successful marriages, that family members bring issues to the person they are related to, and that FI or spouse works things out with their FI/ spouse. She may have been trying to be fair to you and her brother by broaching it to him first, so it would not seem his family was against you behind his back. If you don't give a hoot about anyone's feelings but your own, say so. Such egocentricity will likely cause her to drop out of the wedding, and her whole family, your FH family , may harbor bad feelings for a long time. Work it out with another dress that does not clash, though it does not match, if you care about people's feelings. Or get a model to wear the right dress, not a friend or relative whose feelings you don't care about.

Im not having a bridal party but if i was id make sure they all liked the look and feel and fit of the dress they had to wear. No she didnt tell you to your face she didnt like it which is not cool but you did find out that she didnt like it. Yes its your day but they are doing something fir you by standing by your side they should feel beautiful and comfortable too.

I totally want everyone one to be happy I’m not that kind of person to not care. I told her I would go with her and see her try it on and the other options she already has in mind. I’ve also heard of people lining their dresses underneath. I’ve also offered to pay. She’s been trying to enforce bridesmaids dresses having sleeves on the dress since the beginning but I think she’s self conscious about her arms and won’t admit. But there’s still time to try and do something about it. My sisters and her are all very opinionated. When I finally have a say and make decisions it’s usually my sister in law who always has something to say. Yes, she went to my FH but she also told him that she didn’t want to tell me how she didn’t like the dress. I’m not saying she shouldn’t have done that but she still could’ve told me the same thing that same day instead of lingering. I asked my other bridesmaids all day long how they really felt about wearing sequins and they all said it was fine. My best friend who will be 8 months pregnant during my wedding said she loved the dress. Can you imagine what she will go through. It’s very tough because I definitely believe I should have the final say but with adequate reasons. If the tables were turned I’d do anything for these girls. If I feel that would not be returned of course I’m going to feel a type of way. So when my SIL gets married one day do you think she cares what I think? No. That’s just who she is. It always has to be her way. I just want it to be fair. But regardless I’m going with her to see the dress next week. Wish us luck. Thank you all for your thoughts!! 💜much appreciated!