Bridesmaids Dress and Maid of Honor

Did you ask why she didn’t like it? Could you probably gave options on the style?

View Quoted Comment She doesn’t think the dress would be flattering on her.

It's not uncommon that MOH's wear a different style dress. If that's not an issue for you, I'd agree to let her find her own dress in that color. Now who pays is between you and her.

It is up to you. Is the reason she wants a different one a matter of fit, like she is full busted and feels these don't offer enough support, or a matter of modesty, that she does not want a dress slit to the thigh, or bare in back? I would give those things more weight, if she wanted a different style in the line. And still pay for it. If she simply wants a difference between her and the other, which is very commonly done, and she chooses a dress you like, It would be fair to only pay as much as you are for the ladies. I know the last 2 times I was MOH, the bride was fine with same color , same maker. But my choice as Matron of Honor, and the choice of the Maid of Honor, were 1.5 to 2 times the cost of bridesmaid dresses. Those were barely there strapless on teenagers, and one of the MOHid thirties and a big woman, me 5 months pregnant, and the other the MOH who always wore very covering clothes, turned out to have withered muscle and burn scars at one shoulder, while I would be 4 months post partum nursing twins. Not fitting t-cup bra cups. We found mother of the bride line dresses by the same maker had covered shoulders and a more full and structured bust, and for both weddings the bride paid the under a hundred bm price for all of us, and we MOH paid the difference. Our dresses, not on sale, were almost $350. But we were happy with them, and worked, where the others were high school and college students with no extra money. So it did not seem at all unfair. Especially since for me, and I found out 1 other MOH, our dresses we wore on other occasions, they really were well made evening gowns, where the bm dresses said prom or bm. If you really have chosen something unsuitable for her body, being accommodating and still paying at least part seems reasonable. But if she just wants to be different, that is up to you, and her paying for it is quite reasonable. It is nice you are willing to be a little flexible, and realise your ladies can have a cohesive look without exact matches.

Can you give your sister (and bridesmaids) the chance to try on dresses before deciding on one? I think it will be an easier pill to swallow if they have an idea of what it will look like on them and prevent drama down the road.

As others have said, it's not uncommon for the MOH to wear a different style of dress than the rest of the bridesmaids. If your sister is going to feel uncomfortable in that dress, I would honestly let her pick something else that is complementary. While that is a beautiful dress, I know it would not fit me or my chest. I'm not sure of your sister's body type or type of clothing she usually wears, but if that is out of the realm of what your bridal party usually wears, I am always of the opinion that I would want my closest friends and sister to be comfortable and feel pretty in their outfit, especially when they'll be photographed a ton of times in it. On the flip side, as the bride, it is totally reasonable for you to want a uniform look and have all the women in the same dress. It's very nice of you to cover the costs. Arguements can be made for both sides, so it really comes down to what you value and want.

I totally understand you wanting them in the same dress because I felt the same way. I went shopping with my girls to find a dress and they all told me they liked the dress I picked after each of them tried it on. Seven days prior to my wedding, my sister who was my maid of honor texted me that she got the dress back from being altered and hated it. I asked what was wrong with it and she admitted she never liked it, but she was tired of trying on dresses so she lied and said she liked it. I was livid especially because she waited until a week before my wedding when she had months to tell me the truth. She was refusing to be in any photos including ceremony photos. So she ended up wearing a different dress which like others have pointed out is pretty common for the maid of honor. After all of this happened, I wish I would have let the girls pick their own style as it would have caused me a lot less stress and time trying to find a dress that worked for all of them. The point of me telling you this because I wouldn't want you to go through something like this. So if your sister is concerned about the dress be happy she is being honest with now rather than a week before your wedding and really think about if you want to force someone to wear a dress they would feel uncomfortable in or how you would feel wearing a dress that you didn't think flattered you.

The color of that dress is gorgeous!

I allowed my bridesmaids to pick their own dresses for the very reason your sister does not like the dress you chose. I wanted all of my BM's to be comfortable and feel beautiful. However, if you want to choose it for them, I would let your sister pick something different. It has become quite common for the MOH to stand out in either a different dress or color, so I think it would like good.

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Thanks for the feedback. I think I'll probably make her pay for it, but in reality I'm sure my mom will end up paying for her.

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I don't think it's a matter of fit. She just thinks it's not her style. I asked her what her style was and she sent me some pictures of dresses and I did not like them at all!

All the other bridesmaids love the dress I picked out and are fine with it. They all say it's my day so I should be allowed to pick what I want them to wear. Now, my sister on the other hand is being so difficult with this and I don't understand why?

I thought I put in good consideration of how the dress would look on all the girls before actually deciding on this one.

Most people understand that they pay for their own dress when agreeing to be a bridesmaid. But not everyone is thin and small breasted like the model, thus they may not be comfortable in it. Everyone really needs to try the dress on in person before you purchase them.


It would not be a good thing if they turn out not to fit or be flattering on the majority when the dresses are delivered and too late to change.

View Quoted Comment Youre welcome. As long as it all works out and everyone's happy.

View Quoted Comment Is she looking for a whole different vibe, body hugging or glitzy club wear, or bright colors that would change the whole mood? Because she does need to clearly understand, the overall look is completely up to you. Adding a little chiffon or organza to an a line, still soft and romantic, in the same color, is one thing. Something that completely changes the mood, I don't think you need to even consider if you don't want to.

View Quoted Comment How is she being difficult? Usually they will try on dresses to see what flatters everyone that they are comfortable in rather than deciding from a picture that it will magically fit and be comfortable on everyone regardless of body type.

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I actually did give the bridesmaids an opportunity to do that! I have 2 bridesmaids out of state I shared photos of dresses I liked for them to try on. One went to the store to try it on, the other one hasn't, but loves the dress so she is fine with it. Another local bridesmaid is also happy with the dress as well. She is on the only one who doesn't like it.

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Thanks. I guess I should ask her what she doesn't like about the dress and if it's about comfort or if she is just trying to be different/difficult.

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Thanks so much for sharing your experience with your sister and the dress. I'm sorry she sprung that on you a week before the wedding. I'll ask her more about it and we will try to work something out.

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Thank you! The color is Dusty Blue!

View Quoted Comment You're welcome! It was so super stressful that I wouldn't want something like that happening to anyone else.