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Just Said Yes July 2020

Bridesmaids bailed

Christa, on October 18, 2019 at 2:16 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 1 8
So I’m not sure what to do right now last night all my bridesmaids bailed on me and my maid of honor said she is to busy and “it not important because its just a renewal.” But the thing is I didn’t get a wedding the first time do to life circumstances we had no money but now my other half is giving me the wedding I have always wanted. Do I just continue on with out them or should I event try to find a new bridal party?


8 Comments

Latest activity by Kari, on October 19, 2019 at 8:38 PM
  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
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    1.) You should really take a look at the way you're behaving. If your entire bridal party dropped out, you are the common denominator.

    2.) No, you shouldn't try to replace them. They should be your nearest and dearest friends, they shouldn't be replaceable. That would be hurtful to both the bridesmaids that were replaced and the runner-ups that you asked as an afterthought.

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  • L
    Lady ·
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    100% this..

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  • M
    VIP January 2019
    Maggie ·
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    I think renewals can (and should be) feel really important to the couple renewing their vows. But the nature of the event means that others are not going to feel the same about a renewal as the would about a wedding. And, while planning a renewal is certainly fine, I think you are just setting yourself up for disappointment if you are viewing this as a "do over" and trying to replace or fix something that is already in the past.

    That said, graciously let your friends bow out and go about planning your vow renewal with your husband. I don't even really understand "trying to find a new bridal party." Your friends are not replaceable and attendants aren't a required part of a renewal. I hope the two of you enjoy your party!

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  • Watts
    Super March 2020
    Watts ·
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    People on here can be harsh how they talk to each other, so take responses with a grain of salt. Renewals aren't as exciting for guests because it's not something new, you're already married. I understand wanting a wedding now and if you have the money, do it! Any one who judges you can just get of their high horse. Now, I don't know why the whole bridal party quit. I'd definitely think it over to make sure you didn't cross boundaries. However, if there is someone else in your life that you are close to and haven't already asked, you could ask them now. I'd be careful how you word it. But maybe try and just have 1 person you adore up there with you, because you might be disappointed with the turn out if you try and do a full bridal party at a renewal.
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  • H
    Dedicated March 2020
    Holly ·
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    Do your former maids/MOH know how important this is to you because you never had one the first time around, or do they see it as just a renewal? If they see it as just a renewal, then they probably don't think it is a big deal. With that being said, I wouldn't try to find someone to replace them. You chose them for a reason, and finding someone to take their place wouldn't feel right for you or for the person stepping in. Maybe look at having just a close family member stand next to you, like your mom, grandmother, or anyone that is super close to you. My FSIL didn't have any one in her party because she felt like she didn't want anyone up there. That could also be an option. Scrap the wedding party, and let it just be you guys. I think that would make it more special and intimate anyway. Hope you figure it out!

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  • P & J
    Dedicated February 2020
    P & J ·
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    I would suggest having a sit down with your original bridesmaids and have a serious and sincere conversation with them. If they still don’t step up afterwards then you don’t need them as your support on your day. Either way, I hope that you have a beautiful and super special unforgettable renewal ❤️
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  • Mandee
    Devoted September 2020
    Mandee ·
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    I agree on having a conversation with each of those women individually and ask them what they're thinking. It could be that they don't see the renewal as a real wedding (and it's not) but these are supposedly your best friends in the world and they should understand how important this is to you.

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  • Kari
    Master May 2020
    Kari ·
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    This was my immediate reaction as well.

    If ALL of your bridesmaids bailed (assuming it was more than just 1-2 people), it's likely because you have awful friends or are being an awful friend (at least at this moment in time in regards to your wedding). If your MOH is too busy, is it possibly because you are asking too much of her? I've read the lists of what a MOH/bridesmaid is expected to do for a wedding and it's a lot. If you've been married a while, I'm guessing you may be older and it's possible your maids/MOH just have busy lives and cannot do all the things you are expecting of them. Most of my close friends don't even have kids yet, but there is still no way they could throw me a shower, throw me a bachelorette party, go dress shopping with me, pay for all the stuff they are usually expected to pay for to be in a wedding, and be there for me for every little thing because they have lives don't revolve around me. What brides expect/demand for their wedding can be highly variable, so without knowing more it's difficult to pinpoint the issue, but having all of your bridesmaids bail is a good indicator that something is off with either who you've selected or how you are treating them.

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