Bridesmaids and moh disagreement..

I would just tell them I’ll make the decision I think is right and don’t talk to them about it anymore

I would literally tell them exactly what you just said: " it’s not required for a bridesmaid and MOH to do stuff for my wedding besides stand there and be there to support us". That should get your point across.

View Quoted Comment I know I am just horrible at confrontation. 😣 I know I need to woman up and just say something. Herring you guys say it is helping me not second guess myself though. So thank you

View Quoted Comment Yeah I need to just say it and stop being a chicken poop 😂😅

What is she not doing that would count as "pulling her weight"?

View Quoted Comment They consider her not nose diving into planning a bridal shower and bachelorette party not pulling her weight. I’m like first off she said she would help with cost she just can’t really help with planning it. Secondly I feel like none of them are required to pay for those things if they want to thank you I appreciate it but I really just care about them standing with us as I say our do’s

“All I need her to do is be by my side on my big day. If you are concerned about parties being planned, feel free to take over . She has said she can contribute financially but isn’t able to much in the way of planning right now, and she and I have discussed and both feel okay about that. If you want something different, that’s up to you”

sounds frustrating! And makes me appreciate my girls. I don’t think my MOH had much to do with the Bach planning. None of us cared. One bridesmaid had inspiration and ideas and took the reigns, and everyone came, contributed, and enjoyed. I don’t get why it matters to them!! (Haha i know I’m preaching to the choir, im
sure you don’t either ! Just sympathizing )

View Quoted Comment I mean this is already well put, you really can just say that!

Your wedding is nearly a year away. I don’t know anyone who has started planning a shower or a bachelorette party that early, even when they’ve been super involved with all things wedding. I’d just tell your other bridesmaids and mom what you said about not expecting anything from anyone and tell them to chill a little.

View Quoted Comment My family is a group of planners I have pretty much everything done already. They are planning at having it a venue apparently and they are trying to figure out how much each will have to pay and stuff since they want to host it and not let me be apart of it cause they want to surprise me. But yeah I love my step mom. she is an amazing person but she is a let’s have everything planned way in advance kind of person 🤣😂

View Quoted Comment I like how you put that! Thank you!

What's wrong with just telling them that? Be honest, be respectful, but be firm--you support this woman as a friend, as you do every one of them. They were picked not because of what they could do for you, but who they are to you. Explain that to the others. This isn't a job.

I would be firm with your BMs and mom. If they bring up any complaints about MOH again, politely but firmly let them know it isn't a job, but a position of honor. No one is required to do anything - make sure you make it crystal clear to them!

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Right, I think what you said makes sense. I'd just tell them to lay off, there is no requirement for the MOH to be 100% involved in all planning stuff. My mom planned & paid for my entire shower, I didn't want to burden all the BM & my MOH with that. 3 of my BM couldn't make my bach so they weren't involved in planning or paying either.