Bridesmaids After Wedding

I never thought after my wedding that I would need to keep coming on here for advice, but here I am! Has anyone experienced a situation where after your wedding your bridesmaids suddenly distance themselves from you? It’s been almost a year since my wedding and all three of my bridesmaids aren’t really my friends anymore. I was extremely cheap with my wedding, not wanting them to spend a lot of money because I didn’t want to make my friends struggle financially. I even helped them pay for their dresses and gave them many gifts throughout the planning process, including Swarovski earrings. My mother planned my bridal shower and gave them money to decorate so they literally had no stress financially with my wedding and I told them all I didn’t expect anything from them apart from being by my side.

My wedding came and passed. I work with two of my bridesmaids (we’re teachers) and the one immediately stopped talking to me. She told me last month that she had issues with our principal and just didn’t want to associate with me this entire year because I have my admin degree and think highly of our principal. I didn’t even know how to respond to that. I tried to be understanding and say if I had known I absolutely would have supported her and been there for her. She said she knew before my wedding that this school year would be bad for her so she felt she just needed to “get through” my wedding and stop talking to me. Now she was rehired for another year so her issues have disappeared and she says all this to me and expects me to think it’s no big deal but I’m highly offended.

The other bridesmaid I work with struggles financially and often can’t afford her bills. When my husband and I were looking for a contractor to replace our roof on our home, she insisted I hire her boyfriend who is not a roofer because he would give me a good deal. I told her we needed a lot of work done and that we really need someone who is a roof specialist. She proceeded to describe how her own roof has a hole in it and her attic is growing black mold to the point where she’s afraid of her house being uninhabitable (they have a child as well) and she said that her boyfriend can’t afford to fix their roof because he needs to make more money so my husband and I should totally hire him. I told her no as nicely as I could and since then she’s majorly distanced herself and I’ve even caught her talking badly about me to other coworkers. Her and my other bridesmaid at work got very close so now they hang out all the time and give me dirty looks when we pass by each other. I feel like I’m in mean girls!

My third bridesmaid has been in an on and off relationship with a man who cheated on her continually for over two years. He told her he doesn’t want to commit to her, that he’s in love with the married woman he’s been cheating with, hoping she’ll leave her husband for him, and my friend is still very stuck on him. I found over the last few months she’s only talked to me about him and if she’s with him she won’t answer my texts. To make it worse she joined my husband and I for my husband’s friends birthday party where she gave me a hard time about not wearing sexy clothing to a bar with her and then she proceeded to take photos as if she was on a date with my husband for her instagram live feed. She also “forgot” her money and asked my husband to pay for her. I tried to confront her with all these issues and how they made me feel but she belittled it all. I had a VERY rough year and have had three surgeries related to fertility. I told her I was going through so much pain because I wanted to be pregnant and was having all these issues and just needed her to be a friend. She told me “how do you think I felt at your wedding when all I wanted was to be married?”

I can honestly say that none of these women acted this way prior to my wedding. If I had even a hint that they would act this way I never would have shared my day with them. I am literally in shock. After my third surgery, which was last week, not one of my bridesmaids asked if I was okay. I don’t feel I did anything to warrant how all three of them are acting toward me and talking to them seems to just make it worse. I am disappointed that now I have so many wedding pictures and memories with these women who are clearly not good friends. Has anyone gone through something similar?