Hi all!
I’m looking for advice, and really reassurance, for choosing two more bridesmaids.
To save you from a super long post, just know that my fiancé and I agreed to each have 5 and it’s important for him that our sides are even and that we do have parties standing with us. Neither of us have any sisters or other family members that I’d include.
I know social media is terrible but it’s really been messing with me that I’ve never had those ride or die BFFs I’ve kept in regular contact with since I was 10. I considered some friends from growing up and college purely because of longevity, but when I really thought about it, I maybe text them once a year, if that. I also struggle with the idea that anyone would want to be my bridesmaid and not just a guest. I feel like I’m inconveniencing them although I expect nothing from them. I would love for them to be at the bachelorette party, but no bridal shower, no engagement party, no expectations except to be there for the rehearsal and day-of. I’m even thinking about paying for their dresses because I feel so guilty.
I’m grateful to have 3 friends that I definitely want to ask, but I’m really stressing about asking the other 2 I have in mind. My fiancé and I moved to a new city a year ago, so these 2 girls are my main friends I’ve made here and I consider them to be important people in my current stage of life. But after only 1 year it still feels somewhat new and I’m so worried they’d be surprised I asked and surprised I don’t have better friends. One I actually knew from college and I know I will only grow closer to her while the other unfortunately just moved across the country so I'm worried about keeping up our friendship over text and snapchat. Both have been very excited for our engagement and have already been talking about my bachelorette party, so I know they're willing to travel for that and the wedding.
(Also, I know it shouldn't matter at all, but we're inviting a group to the wedding that we met in the new city and they actually introduced me to my newest friend that just moved away. So their opinions, being much closer to her for longer, and knowing I've known her for such a short time is weighing on me.)
I’d love to hear any advice about how close I should feel to a friend for her to be “bridesmaid-level” and what you did if you were in a similar situation. And are girls truly excited when you ask them to be a bridesmaid or is it more of a social obligation to accept?
