So long story short, I had a very close friend during college and for a bit after, and we did EVERYTHING together. We've traveled all over together and just in general have been through a lot. But over time, I started to feel really drained by her personality - she was really possessive of me it seemed. After moving to a new city together and even living together post-college, I felt like I really needed to grow on my own and admittedly slowly started distancing myself. When I would tell her "no" to hanging out or anything (which wasn't that often, frankly), she would blow up, and anytime she's invited to events or trips that I attend but don't plan/organize, she only chooses me to be upset with. We've had several blow ups (at least one a year for the past three years), but we're currently in a "trying to work on our friendship phase," which means she gives me the space I need and we hang out every now and then and catch up because we do still care about each other at the end of the day.
Unfortunately, this phase has come during the time when I'm planning a wedding and big decisions have to be made. I've already chosen bridesmaids who all bring something I want up there with me on my special day. She is not one of them, and since my wedding is soon approaching, she must be aware she's not. Whenever we're together, I scoot around talking about the wedding because I truly don't want her to blow up - which could totally happen. I've felt so guilty for months, but I think my guilt is only there because she has this sick way of controlling me mentally.
Anyway, I invited her to the bachelorette party as a sign of good faith and because I genuinely wanted her there. Now it's coming up, and I'm glad that she's coming (I'm pleasantly surprised she is after everything), but I'm really nervous about it being awkward. Half of the attendees are in the wedding party and the other half are not, but wedding-related conversations ("What color are your dresses?" etc.) are bound to happen, obviously, and I'm not sure how to manage my anxiety during them knowing she will be listening in/feeling left out. Even worse, I'm so nervous I'm going to be stressed about parading my bridesmaids in front of her on what's supposed to be the happiest day of my life.
I can't control how she feels or what her reaction is. But how can I control my reaction of major guilt and anxiety when this is supposed to be a happy time? Even to this day I'm still letting her control me, when what I really want to do is go into my marriage happy and healthy.
Has anyone else been in an (at least somewhat) similar situation? If so, how did you deal? And if not, any advice anyway? 
