Bridesmaid

Ask her to be your assistant planner/ advisor. I have a friend a generation older who had surgery scheduled twice in a year, casts for long periods, and the second surgery was far from our area, where her daughters now lived with families. So I knew she would be flying off weeks before the wedding. She was a godsend. We wanted a wedding half way between most of my family, and his, and also close to his friends from the service and school, and mine. She did what was so hard for either of us, working 60 to 80 hours a week to afford the wedding. She turned up 14 resort motels, clubs, ski areas out of season or inns in our prime location, where groups overlapped. All meeting our basic specs for numbers and prices, we looked at them online for what appealed to us, she would call or email for info, alongside me or on our own. So we headed to the Catskills /upstate NY area with only the 6 best to look at, needing 1 for a ceremony, and that place and a second to take over for guests. She did at least half the prescreening. But we (FI and I) made final decisions. She put in some computer time without me. Together, we got together every 2 weeks for an evening, 6 times, in the period of 3 months that we planned the wedding. And it was like girls camp, we had fun. My Two MOH and 2 bridesmaids were away our entire 5 month engagement. Mothing miserable or tefious for her. I did not consider her a maid of all work, she was and is a friend. Other friends , not wedding party, planned and threw 3 showers in other areas, and she attended another, our quilting group. Such a gift of friendship. When she left for her k

Daughters out west, we gave her 3 $100 gift certificates to local restaurants there so she could have takeout treat for the family of daughter and grandchildren where she stayed. No other gifts, though I picked up the tab any time we put away the planning and went out as friend. Bridesmaid is not the only role. Just make sure she is not being shunted the dirty work ( by others) as she s not a paid employee. And that she is included ad a guest only ( no contribution) in one shower or bach, if you are given them .

It's 100 percent your choice. I've never seen any of my friends do a bridesmaid proposal and didn't realize it was a thing until I became involved with weddingwire.

I mean if she could come to all your other events it would be cool to

I'd just call her & talk to her about it! Let her know you know she can't attend, but if she could, you'd want her to be a bridesmaid so you want her to be included however she can.