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Lindsay
Dedicated October 2019

Bridesmaid won’t show me her dress

Lindsay, on August 16, 2019 at 9:10 PM Posted in Wedding Attire 0 21
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Hi there, my bridesmaids picked out their own dresses based on what was flattering on them, with my only request that the dress be blush. My other bridesmaids all received their dresses and have sent me pictures and are very excited, however my MOH refuses to show us the dress saying she is waiting to lose more weight so the dress fits. With only a month until the wedding I’m nervous that she won’t have a dress that will fit. I understand she may be a little self conscious bc she is a larger size than my other bridesmaids, but I’m not sure what to do if the dress doesn’t fit on the wedding day. What should I do?

21 Comments

Latest activity by Allie, on August 19, 2019 at 4:21 PM
  • Mrsbdg
    Champion August 2017
    Mrsbdg ·
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    There’s nothing you can do. You can’t force her to show you the dress. If she’s getting alterations you can recommend switching the zipper for a corset back but that’s about it.

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  • Keri
    Expert November 2019
    Keri ·
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    Nothing you can really do unfortunately. Is it through a specific company? If not, she might be looking for another dress the week before the wedding.

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  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
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    You can tell her if she shows up without an appropriate dress that fits, she can sit as a guest.
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  • M
    Devoted September 2019
    McKenzie ·
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    I'd tell her this is a stressor for you and you'd really like to see the dress. Support her, and let her know if need be you're available to go shopping for another dress if the current one doesn't fit, but it needs to happen sooner vs later with the wedding date upcoming.

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  • Lindsay
    Dedicated October 2019
    Lindsay ·
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    Thank you, I think this is what I’m going to do! I’ve tried to be as understanding as possible, but I’ve heard horror stories of bridesmaids wearing a t shirt over their dresses and I would feel really bad asking her to not be in the pictures due to this.
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  • Meghan
    Master October 2019
    Meghan ·
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    100% this!

    I understand she might be uncomfortable, however, this isn’t her wedding and she doesn’t get to call the shots. She needs to show you the dress or she can return it and attend your wedding as a guest. Or... order it in a size that fits.
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  • Lindsay
    Dedicated October 2019
    Lindsay ·
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    Thank you girls! I didnt know if I was being too demanding asking to see her dress before my wedding. It’s not that I would ever say no to the dress she chose, but it would be nice to see it before the big day( and also to make sure it actually fits)
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  • Meghan
    Master October 2019
    Meghan ·
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    You’re not being too demanding at all. It’s your wedding and you have the right to see your bridesmaids dresses! I let my girls choose their dresses, but they all showed me their choices before ordering.
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  • Rachel
    Expert September 2019
    Rachel ·
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    I agree with others; it's super weird that she hasn't shown it to you. All my ladies were also excited to show me what they chose, ESPECIALLY the one who was kind of feeling larger than the others.

    It just sounds to me like maybe she ordered a size thinking it would fit, and it does not.......

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  • Jennifer
    VIP October 2021
    Jennifer ·
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    Tell her that you need to see if it fits- final fittings should be done very very soon- like now. Offer to go with her and see it in person.
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  • Cher Horowitz
    Master December 2019
    Cher Horowitz ·
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    I would let this go. MOH seems self conscious so be a friend first, bride second Smiley smile

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  • Kelly
    Beginner August 2020
    Kelly ·
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    You definitely have a right to see her dress! I would say that maybe you can encourage her to purchase a back up dress that fits her at her current weight from a store with an awesome return policy (like Nordstrom) just in case.
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  • N
    Dedicated July 2019
    Natt ·
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    I would just ask to see the dress without her in it that way you can make sure the color is correct and matches the other bridesmaids. As for her not having a dress in time that’s her problem I’m sure she is just as stressed about it as you are so let her worry about that as the maid of honor it’s a bit easier to wear someone that’s a bit different from the rest of the bridesmaids so I would t work about it to much
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  • Mary
    Expert July 2019
    Mary ·
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    This. I didn't ask to see my bridesmaids dresses before the wedding day. However, I was planning to follow this exactly if they did not have it ready by the day-of.
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  • Kassidy
    Dedicated October 2020
    Kassidy ·
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    I was the MOH in a wedding a month ago and 2 bridesmaids did the same thing. A week before the wedding they still didn’t have a solution. It just so happened it worked out a day before but cut it way too close.
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  • M
    VIP December 2019
    Michelle ·
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    FACTS!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  • Doreen
    Beginner February 2020
    Doreen ·
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    I'm excited that ALL of my BM's liked their dress selections....I'm truly thankful!!

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  • Tamika
    Expert October 2019
    Tamika ·
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    I haven't seen my girls dresses nor guys but they are working together. The only thing I've seen is my son's because I picked it out. I'm praying everyone is killing it the day of the wedding.



    #teamwork
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  • Yam
    VIP September 2019
    Yam ·
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    If your wedding is only a month away then it’s too late for her to miraculously lose weight to fit into her dress. It’s one thing if it just pulls in her stomach area, you can wear spanx for that, but you’re saying she’s waiting to lose weight so the dress actually fits? She needs to go to a seamstress asap or find a new dress. She needs to show you pics at this point.
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  • L
    Lady ·
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    I would just let her be. You let them pick their own which is great - just trust her. She's an adult and doesn't really need you to micromanage or tell her how something should fit.

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