Bridesmaid won’t give me a decision!

I would find out when the dress has to be ordered by so it will be in on time and still be able to do alterations. Give her that date and the info for the dress, tell her she has until X date to order the dress for it to be in on time and if she orders it then great and if not then she would have to step down and be a guest at the wedding.

I agree with this. If the dress can be ordered still by a certain time just give her that as a deadline instead of making your own which sounds kind of demanding! This will avoid conflict then

I'd just figure out how long it will take her to get a dress and alterations realistically, and from there, figure out and give her deadline of when you need an answer. Since she's not responsible for the shower or bachelorette party, the dress is really the only time sensitive issue. Just tell her you'd understand either way.

At this point I'd assume her answer is no. If she was really considering being a bridesmaid, she would have given you some sort of update on her decision by now. Even if it was still a maybe. Plus I imagine that when she does because sure of her plans, she'll be busy with those. For example if she decides to move, she'll probably pay a lot to do so and wouldn't be able to afford a dress. So I wouldn't bug her about it. Just send her a wedding invite when the time comes.

I would just tell her what dress the other girls ordered and say that you'd love to have her and if she wants to participate she needs to have X dress by your wedding date. That's really all you need from her. It really doesn't require a lot of planning or anything if she doesn't come at the last minute.

I would probably just say "hey I know you have a lot going on so don't worry about it" and make the decision for her.

Agree with this 100%

That's so hard!

I'd probably assume her answer is a no, she doesn't have a job and seems flaky, I don't know her finances but being in a wedding can get enxpensive and if she is jobless, I doubt those expenses are feasible for her.

If the bm gifts aren't too expensive, you could always buy hers and continue to plan as if she will say yes, then if she says no, you haven't lost too much money. I wouldn't pressure her now though, depending on when the dresses need to be ordered by, you can gently remind her down the road. But otherwise I wouldn't push her until you absolutely need to know.

This is a great suggestion! All my bridesmaids picked their own style dress and I just gave them a color. They all ordered them in June and got them in August so based on that she should order her dress by early December...

At this point it seems like she is saying no without actually saying it. It's totally normal to need some time to think about it and how it would work in one's life, but it's been several months now and she is no closer to knowing. And if things are up in the air for her, my guess is that even if she does land she may have difficulty with the financial aspects. She's probably afraid to say that, finances are so hard to talk about and there is a lot of shame around not being able to afford something. I would simply move on without her and consider her a guest. She might be relieved.

At this point, I would assume her answer is no and she just doesn't want to tell you. I would just let her know that she is welcome to attend as a guest.

Pray about everything and worry about nothing. If it is meant for her then it will happen before time. Do not let that stress you. Leave it in the higher up hands. You concentrate on being a beautiful bride.