Bridesmaid who won't face reality

Honestly, the concern is much deserved, and I'm glad you aren't taking a different approach to this. I feel like this is something the Mama will have to come to decide on her own, or maybe even her significant other could help to persuade her to stay where she is during such an important time in a pregnancy in case she needs to see her doctor for any reason.

My pregnant cousin, actually, was sent to the hospital last night for high blood pressure, and there's something going on with the development of her son's lungs in the womb. She isn't due until mid-end of October.... and they're thinking they may have to deliver her baby on Monday of next week at 34 weeks.

So, that just goes to show you that the last trimester can be sort of unpredictable.

I hope she is prepared to have those babies anywhere between home and where you are? Remember, twins usually come early.

If she insists, then she needs to plan on longer than 30 hours because she's going to need to stop frequently to pee and she needs to get out an walk around at least every 90 minutes. I think she'll be very uncomfortable and should discuss it with her doctor before attempting this trip. It would be a tough drive on anyone, never mind someone 8 months pregnant.

I suspect she is feeling a little sorry for herself that she has to miss your big day. If it turns out she doesn't come, it might be nice to send her flowers or something on that day to let her know she's missed. Good luck!

Eta last paragraph (it posted too quick)

I had a BM that was 5 weeks away from her due date at the time of my wedding. Her Dr. STRONGLY suggested that she did not take the 6 hour trip. I think she said it could cause blood clots. She couldn't make it and I completely understood.

I wouldn't have been allowed to make that trip and I was only pregnant with one. I highly doubt her dr will let her travel at that point with twins. I was doing good to drive 30 minutes to work when I was 30 weeks. It was just miserable on my back.

Yikes-what a debacle. She sounds determined and insane but you can't make choices for others even when it's clearly the right option. Hopefully she discusses this with her doctor but twins have a way of arriving around 32-33 weeks-they might make the decision for her.

One of my friends is currently pregnant and her doctor told her even at 6 weeks until her due date she wouldn't be able to take a 5 hour train ride. I don't think 30 hours is good

Rustic Bride, I will be thinking about and prating for your cousin (I don't know if it helps but my cousin's daughter was born at 28 weeks and she just celebrated her third birthday, she is also my flower girl.)

Rachel, its nice (on WW) when a bride's concern is for mother and baby, NOT how it will affect the wedding. As others have said, no woman in her last trimester of pregnancy would be cleared for a 30 hour drive. In addition being pregnant with twins does not only bring a heightened risk of early delivery but multiple additional health issues. Can you possibly Skype the wedding so she is still included from a distance? Please let us know how this turns out.

Wow, it's nice that she's so enthusiastic but she's being completely unrealistic. I wouldn't want to be so far from home when the chances are her babies could be born right then! I hope she comes around for everyone's sake.

Thank you everyone!

I may offer the Skype option...she also uses the Tango app on her phone, so maybe I can coerces someone into using that and "filming" us.

Theresa, I'm pretty relaxed about the hole ceremony thing, I refuse to become a "bridezilla"

Yeah, she's being pretty unrealistic about her condition so close to the due date. Nice that you are so concerned. Hold up- I just realized you said she's having twins?! No way should she be planning to drive or even ride around in a car (is someone else going to drive?) for so long like that. I would again ask her to get her OB's opinion. She's going to be feeling terrible, have back/butt pain, and possibly develop blood clots. Good luck to your stepsister!

Ummm..yeah. Twins usually come early too. Ask her to ask her doctor about the statistics of how likely she is to STILL be pregnant 6 weeks before her due date.

I was just about to say the same thing as a few have said on here. I am a twin myself, and twins usually do come early! My sister and I, however were only 2 weeks early. She needs to be prepared for that! I'm guessing her husband will be with her on the drive? You are not being unreasonable at all! Maybe google and e-mail the statistics for twins coming early as snarky mentioned. Good luck!

ETA: My mom was on bed-rest for the last few weeks leading up to delivery also!

You're spot-on with this one. The best thing you can do is: 1) assume she is not going to be there, and create a Plan B in case she has any official duties that need to be covered, and 2) ask her what local hospital she's identified in case she goes into labor while in town, and 3) ask her if her insurance company will reimburse her for the delivery expenses and hospital room for two to three days if she gives birth out of town with an out-of-network doctor, and 4) if she needs a c-section, will they cover it at an out-of-network hospital?

She may still be silent or blow these questions off, but you will have planted in her mind that she could end up paying THOUSANDS or TENS OF THOUSANDS of dollars to have the babies out of state, if she's not confirmed with her insurance company what they will/won't cover if she travels that close to her due date.

You're not saying "don't come" - you're saying "Make sure you have a plan set up and can pay for the cost of your decision if you choose to come."

Thanks Rebecca!

Those are great questions to get her thinking.

I really appreciate all the support!