Bridesmaid who is Bald headed

Hmm while your feelings are valid, it’s her body and she needs to feel comfortable. You can have full reign over what she and the rest of your bridesmaids wear for a dress but her (lack of) hair is not something that you get to decide. You chose her as she is to stand up with you but that doesn’t allow you to decide how someone wears their hair (or lack of in her case), their makeup, any body modifications, and anything that alters their physical form. Even if she doesn’t wear a wig or other accessories on a regular day, have you had an honest open conversation to see if this is a self esteem issue? You don’t walk in her shoes to know what she may be feeling about being “on display”. Tackle that conversation first before you lose your cool with her, drop her from the position or end the friendship, which are all things that brides in other past posts have found reason to do for less.

View Quoted Comment Not trying to lose a friend... that's not an option. But again to wear an elaborate head piece is not an option either when mine isn't. Thanks for your response. I will speak to her later and discuss indepth.

Has she expressed why she wants to wear it? Is she bald by choice?

You don’t have to like it but you have no authority over how someone wears her hair or likewise, decides to cover her bald head. Maybe stop and feel grateful you don’t have to deal with this issue.


The most you can say IF she’s soliciting your opinion is you think she looks better without it. Otherwise, butt out.

That's frustrating. It's possible that she's trying to find the boundary though? In her mind she might feel that she's already othered and doesn't see she's pushing herself deeper into that category with the extravagance of the head piece. That being said, the best way to solve this is just to work with her. I'd highly recommend finding a head covering that either matches the color of her attire, or is a neutral brown that pairs nicely with her skin tone. https://www.headcovers.com/so-simple-pre-tied-head-scarves-women-cardani/ just find what makes her feel comfortable and doesn't attempt to upstage you. Simplicity is key.

I'm going to disagree with the group. I think an elaborate headpiece like this definitely falls within your right to say no. If one of your brides wanted to wear a crazy hat, you could veto. I see this as the same thing. Yes, you want her to be comfortable, but a Celine Dion style crystal headdress is outside the realm. A toned down head wrap like Haven suggested or a simple rhinestone headband would be more in keeping with her role as bridesmaid.

View Quoted Comment She had some balding in the middle so she decided to shave it all off. She wasn't sure if was because of the weaves or because alopecia runs in the family.
So i envisioned everyone in an simple, elegant ponytail. She said yes to purchasing a wig or getting a wig made but later decided not too since she hasn't worn one in about 5 years.
So then another week or so later she ask could she wear something to cover her head because it's an outdoor ceremony and her scalp sweats and everyone will have their hair done. Then it became she is a little self conscious because she don't know all the people. Out of 100 people she don't know about 40.

View Quoted Comment I am the Bride, I will not butt out. Maybe you are reading and getting my message confused.

View Quoted Comment Thank you! I showed her a pic what i considered a simple headband, something like below. And she sent me other pics. We will get it together

View Quoted Comment I feel the same way. If a bridesmaid with hair wanted to wear this, or wear any kind of accessory that stood out in such a way, it would be common sense for you to put a foot down and say no.


A heavily stoned headpiece isn't the only thing in the world this bridesmaid could cover her head with. If she wants to go fancy because everyone is getting their hair styled, I agree about a scarf, maybe even with minimal stoning for sparkle.

View Quoted Comment I’m not confused. My advice reflects not only consideration for your friend’s feelings and personal body autonomy but it also happens to be the acceptable etiquette of the situation. Your friend is likely confused at attempts to control what head covering she wears.

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I think the matching ponytails are making your friend feel like an outsider and this headpiece is a sign of her desperation. Nix the robot look and buy the scaledback headband for her. Who knows, she may feel herself without it if others are encouraged to wear their own hair. This would be the most compassionate route.

Also, there are powders that she can wear on her head if she's worried about sweat.

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I definitely agree with Caryn. The ornateness of this headpiece makes it appear that she is trying to outshine you. Agree to something simple that won’t be so obnoxious. Good luck

View Quoted Comment Thanks Peyton. She didn't like what i considered a simple head band so she decided to wear nothing.

View Quoted Comment That’s a shame. The only relevant etiquette rule for bridesmaids is to wear the agreed upon dress, hopefully in consultation with you for budget and style. There are no such such restrictions on hair, makeup, manicures, jewelry or a head covering and nothing whatsoever about “competing” with the bride in those areas because it’s not considered a thing. The bridal party are individuals with their own unique style and personality , not meant to be clones on “your special day.” I don’t happen to care for that headpiece personally but I think it’s sad that you pressured her into not wearing something that would make her feel pretty and confident. If you care about your friend I’d reconsider.

View Quoted Comment Thank you. Which i did agree to a single crystal looking head band

Your own OP asked for opinions on how to prevent your inner bridezilla from surfacing. If you were that confident you would not need to post or resort to namecalling. Have a good day.

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God is Good!

I agree with Caryn. The hairpiece looks very bridal. I suggest having a very explicit conversation with your friend about what you would like her to wear and why. It does sound like she may be concerned about her lack of hair, but it sounds like you have suggestions for her. Also, it may help to remind her (although it also may hurt her, it just depends on her and your relationship) that everyone will be looking at you, not her.