Bridesmaid w/ a new boyfriend-- invite him?

Timing of when how long a relationship has been together or if you've met the significant other or if you like them is all totally irrelevant!

If your bridesmaid (or ANY of your guests) are in a self-defined relationship at the time invites are going out then then MUST be invited! Couples (even new couples) are social units, it's not appropriate to separate them.

When planning your numbers and budget, it's best to assume EVERY one of your single guests will get into a relationship before the invites go out, and make sure you have enough space and budget to account for them, just in case!

Wedding party automatically gets a plus one!

I would let her bring him if you have the room and can afford it. Since it sounds like they would have to stay in a hotel anyway, her being gone all day wouldn't really bother him since he could just hangout in the room. This is why we opted for a sweetheart table instead, I don't want random people in our pictures that may not be in our lives forever.

I was with my now FH for only 2 months when I brought him across the country for a wedding I was a bridesmaid in. He spent the day of the wedding with the groomsmen/bridal party significant others while I was getting ready and had a blast. I caught the bouquet that night and a little over a year later he proposed! If they are still together when invites go out I think you should definitely invite him by name but I understand your hesitancy because of past things.

View Quoted Comment I would say if shes still with him when invites go out then invite him but I wouldnt want my friends bringing their flavor of the month to my wedding. We kept a very small guest list to only accommodate our very closest family and friends so having a bunch of strangers there would be weird especially when we left out plenty of friends we wish we could've accommodated. Luckily all but 2 of my guests are married and those 2 know everyone else so they knew they werent getting a plus one since we're all so close they dont need someone to be their social buddy.

One of my bms just started dating someone as well and i did invite him as well. I mean we do all work togather but i have only worked with him a few times and he seemed ok so why not.

What most people are telling you is right. Any guest in a relationship gets an invite with both themselves and the SO mentioned by name regardless of length of relationship, and in general, BP members should get a +1 if they are single.

My FH and I were dating for 2 months when I was a BM in my best friend's wedding. He managed just fine with not knowing a lot of people. in fact, he ended up meeting a lot of people who were important to me that day.

Ideally, she should be getting a plus one anyway - being in the bridal party, travelling, knowing few people at the wedding - the person she brings isn't up to you. It could be someone she met a week before that you never met. At any rate, if they are still dating when the invitations go out, you should invite him by name. My FH was invited to my best friend's wedding within us dating a year - I was invited to his best friend's wedding in the same time frame (those friends are now our MOH and BM). To me, him being in pictures doesn't matter, either. Your married friends could be not be together anymore in a year or ten when you're looking back at them.

I would bring it up with her and be honest about not knowing what he’d do since she’ll be with you all day, and maybe she’ll change her mind about wanting him to come. FH’s best man has a girlfriend of 2.5 years and he is not bringing her to our wedding because he is going to be with FH all weekend and she would just be bored and not have a good time!

Yes, invite him. Traveling solo when you don't have to isn't fun. And maybe this is the one for her, you never know.

Significant others are a unit.
However, it is you and your husband's wedding, you two can invite, or not invite, whoever you want.

View Quoted Comment I think you are getting into dangerous territory with you statements about clear lines of serious relationships. Are there really clear lines to that? We just went with, if you call this person your boyfriend/girlfriend, they get invited by name. In my experience, I've seen people be together for 15 years before they got married, I knew a couple who was together for 4 months and got married. Time isn't really an indicator of how serious a relationship is, so unless you spend a significant amount of time with these people, how do you know if they are serious or not? And if you are spending a significant amount of time with these people, why wouldn't you invite them both to your wedding. I know when I had been dating my now H for 10 months, I was invited to a wedding, but my relationship wasn't considered serious enough and he didn't get invited. My H was really hurt by that and thought that my friends didn't like him. They are good friends so I had to explain they just don't have a lot of money and they're rude, it's not you. For me, it's not so much a rule of wedding etiquette you can choose to follow or not, it's are you okay with hurting people who care about you (I am assuming these people care about you and you care about them or they wouldn't be in your BP or invited to your wedding to begin with). I completely understand how expensive weddings are. There were friends I wanted to invite who I didn't, because a lot of our friends are in relationships and we needed to accommodate that. It's just some of the tough choices you have to make. We didn't give plus ones to our truly single guests. We did offer a plus one to our single BP members, and only one out of 4 actually took us up on it and brought a date. Sorry for the long post and I'm not trying to be critical, I just think you are headed for a lot of drama if you go down a path where you decide how serious your friends' relationships are. There isn't really a way to know that unless you are living the relationship with them. IMO, you need to either include anyone who is considered a SO of your guests or you need to not invite that guest (or not invite another guest so you can accommodate everyone's SO). I know not everyone does this, but because I've seen this hurt someone I care about, I do caution people against making weird rules like this. I've seen people only invite SOs if they are living together or if they are engaged or things like that, but all people and relationships are different, so you are going down a slippery slope when you don't plan for your guests to bring the person they are dating.

Yes, you invite him

Yes invite! I thought it would be bad we had similar issue but it all worked out perfect! You want to have happy guests

It’s your wedding so you get to call the shots but I’m of the mind that everyone who comes to my wedding gets a plus one, no matter the relationship. Who am I to quantify someone’s relationship? Or even if a guest wants to bring a friend- totally fine with me as they’ll have a buddy and will have more fun. In your case, seeing as she’s a bridesmaid.. it would definitely make sense to give her the plus one.

All of our wedding party is getting a plus one and most of them are single. It's not up to me to determine how serious someone's relationship is, she should not be expected to travel out of state without a date if others are getting a plus one!

I'm in the exact same boat. I'm letting her invite him- I told the BP that they could all have +1s

Your BP is usually composed of your nearest and dearest. They have done a lot to support your relationship and participate on your wedding. I think giving them a plus one is the right thing to do. Like other PP said, you cannot judge how serious the relationship is, and the fact that your friend thinks every relationship is the relationship doesn't mean she believes more or less that it could be true. I would feel hurt if I was in her shoes.

She is in the bridal party, give her the +1. And I think it is fairly easy to tell the seriousness of a relationship if they are close enough to get an invite to your wedding. I didn't go to a wedding with my FH about 3 months after we started dating (we'd only been dating about a month before invitations went out) and I wasn't at all offended. It would have been way weirder to go as we had just started being in a relationship.

One of my guy friends calls any girl he's sleeping with his 'girlfriend'. They are not in a committed relationship and he usually has more than 1 girlfriend at a time and change about every 2 weeks or so. So no, I'm not picking the one he's sleeping with on the day I send out invitations and inviting that one by name. It is totally possible that my friend might actually decide to date one of these girls and marry her and the one at the time of my wedding may be his future wife, but I'm willing to bet you $1000 that he won't remember her name by the time my wedding actually happened.

On the other hand I have a friend who has been dating the same person for 8 months (will be a year by the time I send out invitations), are exclusive, but they are not 'boyfriend and girlfriend' as they don't like those terms and don't ever refer to themselves as 'in a relationship' yet I will be inviting him by name.

I gave all of my single friends a +1, just as a courtesy. If I didn't have room for that I was going to give at least the bridal party +1's, I think that is nice as they are dedicating a lot of time, effort, and money toward your wedding and should be allowed to bring a date IMO, so this would be a no-brainer for me. Just because you don't know him doesn't mean she won't want him there to dance with and hang out with while you're busy talking to your many guests, and it'll be up to him to judge whether he feels comfortable going to a wedding where he doesn't know many people - I've been the +1 of bridal party members and was just seated at a table with the wives/girlfriends while the guys did wedding stuff. It was fine even though I suck at small talk.