Just Said Yes October 2020

Bridesmaid vs Reader

Megan, on September 11, 2019 at 12:25 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 4
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Hey everyone, just looking for a neutral opinion on bridal party selection.
We have an idea of how many people, but comes down to two girls who are his sister in laws. One of them I only see once a year.

The second sister in law I feel I’m a lot closer. I’ve attended her gender reveal/baby shower this year. We have made trips to see them. Originally I thought I would ask both ladies to be bridesmaids fear of hurting somebody’s feelings. But now thinking about it I’m not loving that idea.

The sister in law I’m not close with I was thinking instead asking her to be a reader. I would also make sure she would receive invitations to any bridal activities. We have asked both both families to get their opinions. My parents think it’s a good idea, FH parents don’t agree.

Would it be rude having one sister in law be a bridesmaid and the other a reader?


  • Marianne
    Savvy May 2020
    Marianne ·

    I think that you should consider the sister-in-law you are closest with to be your bridesmaid. If you feel you have a better relationship with her and want to include someone from your FH's side of the fam, then that's how the decision would be based off of.

    Including the second sister in law as a reader is perfectly fine. She will still be involved in some way. The only complication I see is if this second sister in law is not reasonable or understanding for the reasons why you would give so and so this and that part in your wedding. If so, then you may have to talk it out if they do see some wrong in it.

    In the end, it is your decision since you know how these people will react. But yeah, that's my two cents.

    Best wishes and I hope it resolves well!

  • B
    Super July 2018
    Brittany ·

    I honestly think that asking someone to be a reader just means - you're not important enough to be a bridesmaid but I wanted to include you so here. Which, yes, that would probably hurt someone's feelings. The only time I feel like it is acceptable is if you aren't close due to a big age gap. Someone 10+ years older than you probably won't really want to be a bridesmaid but would feel honored to do a reading.

  • Cher Horowitz
    Rockstar December 2019
    Cher Horowitz ·

    I wouldn't ask the other SIL to be a reader. Just have the one you're closest to in your bridal party as planned

  • Lady ·

    I personally would just ask both of them because i would feel really uncomfortable choosing one over the other even if i'm closer with one. There's no right or wrong really, but that's what i would feel more comfortable doing.

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