Bridesmaid unsure?

Honestly, it sounds like she is looking for a way out. You've given her options, she doesn't seem to like any. I wouldn't wait. Let her do her thing and ask someone else or else you will be stressing about this for the next 4 months.

I don't think it would be rude, just put it to her by telling her, hey, there's certain things that need to happen before April, so can you let me know by (your deadline) if you're going to be in the wedding or not.

Yea, I think this will only be stressful for you. You can tell her when you plan on ordering the bridesmaid dresses and that you need a decision by then. Why don't you suggest to her she could be a reader, greeter, or your "assistant" for the day instead?

One of my bridesmaids was iffy for several months. She blamed her 'future potential job'. (She was planning on getting a job by our wedding and wasn't sure if she could be in it. LOL)

Just assume that she won't be in the wedding. This 'iffy' ex-bridesmaid almost lost her invite altogether because she was so difficult and kept making excuses. Do you really want someone who isn't willing to be there for you now?

My other bridesmaids honestly jumped at the opportunity and have been amazing. One of my other bridesmaids will be 6-7 months pregnant at our wedding and still jumped at the chance and found this cute maternity dress to match. I honestly couldn't imagine her not being up there with me.

Lessen the stress on you. If she's making excuses now without child, imagine what she will say when she is pregnant.

It sounds to me like she's trying to find an "out". Its understandable that you're concerned, i would be too. Maybe you could talk to her and see if there is something else she'd feel more comfortable doing (like a reading) and that way you could find another BM.

She needs to decide. I am a compassionate person, but you have stuff you need to get done. Sorry. She can be a very loved guest.

I feel you have responded well so far, but she needs to understand that you can't wait that long for her to decide. You are aloud to have her make a decision now. It is your wedding. While you can still be understanding, you should have her make a decision so that you can have the possibility of adding another BM.

I had a similar issue. I took my heaviest BM to pick out dresses that looked the best on her knowing my other BM would look great in them and we narrowed it down to 3. I then took my other BM and had her try on the 3 dresses and she loved this form fitting one shoulder dress. 2 weeks later I find out she is pregnant. I offered a chance to back out because she would be 7.5 mo pregnant at my wedding and I offered her to wear another dress. She agreed to wear the one she decided on and wanted to be in the wedding. She waited until less than 2 mo before the wedding to tell me she's not going to be in it. I was P.O'd because she had an opportunity to back out and I was prepared to ask someone else to replace her. She waited to the last moment to tell me and it wasn't fair to me or the replacement to pay the rush fee for the BM dress. Luckily one of our groomsman backed out also for financial reasons so I was able to keep my wedding party even.