Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

Dedicated March 2021

Bridesmaid trying for baby

Elissabeth, on December 2, 2020 at 3:43 PM Posted in Wedding Attire 0 9

Saved

Flag
Hide content

To start I'm definitely don't think my friends should plan thier lives around my wedding. Also I have a maid of honor amd a bridal matron but for simplicity in going to call them both bridesmaid. Since I only have two maids I went ahead and covered the cost of thier dresses myself and yhe dresses have already been ordered an delivered. Over a month a ago when the dresses arrived and we were doing a fit check with the friend in question I brought up the return window for the dresses. She said she was working on losing a little weight before the wedding and she was telling me about how she didn't want anymore kids after how rough her last pregnancy was on her body. Then a couple days ago, tye day after her son's second birthday, she texts me that she decided they do want to have another baby amd they are going to start trying right now. I tried to be supportive while also also reminding her that the return deadline for the dresses had just passed and the dress is cut to her current measurements. She keeps going on about how it'll probably not take right away but if it does she could be anywhere from a couple weeks to 4 months pregnant by my wedding. I know every pregnancy is different but with her son she gained 15lbs in the first trimester in part due to thyroid issues. I told her that if it goes that way again and her current dress isn't able to be altered to be large enough she will need to pay for a second dress herself. Now my problem is that the dress style they currently have is no longer made and has a high-low skirt that doesn't have a match in the current dress line up. I payed for my girls' dresses specifically so they could match exact since I only have two and mismatched but same color dresses don't look the same on two people vs six. So if she needs another dress, could I have her pay for both her's and the other maid's since she knew she was asking after the return date cutoff and I already payed for two dresses that can't be used? Again this is only if her current dress can't be worked with. Thoughts? I really can't afford two more dresses. Thank you!

Flag
Hide content

9 Comments

Latest activity by Yasmine, on December 2, 2020 at 9:08 PM

Champion July 2019
Veronica · on December 2, 2020 at 4:20 PM
Flag

Hide content
I'm currently four months pregnant and I've only gained about five pounds, but my normal clothes feel too tight so I've switched to maternity clothes. If she wants to have another child that is solely up to her and her significant other. My advice is to just let her wear a different dress. No one will care if she and the other girl are in the exact same dress or not. Even if the dresses were the exact same, they won't look the same on one person that is pregnant vs someone who isn't.
- Reply
Dedicated March 2021
Elissabeth · on December 2, 2020 at 4:28 PM
Flag

Hide content
I care that they don't match. Really it's just the hemlines being wildly different that bothers me since they both specifically wanted the dress with the unique hemline when the other option was just a tea length a-line. I'm looking through the dress styles available since I think I could be okay if at least the front parts of the dresses are the same length.
- Reply
Champion December 2022
Michelle · on December 2, 2020 at 4:33 PM
Flag

Hide content
Take a look at maternity bridesmaid dresses. Azazie carries some and so do other designers.

Asking her to pay for both her dress and someone else's is completely out of line.
- Reply
Dedicated November 2021
Sav · on December 2, 2020 at 4:48 PM
Flag

Hide content
I don't think she should have to pay for the other girl's dress as well, but I also don't think it would be unreasonable for her to pay for a new one. I understand the frustration of wanting everyone to match.
- Reply
Dedicated March 2021
Elissabeth · on December 2, 2020 at 4:53 PM
Flag

Hide content
Yeah I think it was really just my knee jerk reaction out of frustration that the dresses were returnable literally 3 days before she decided to tell me her intentions. The dresses are from azazie so I'm looking through the knee length maternity dresses and comparing them to the dress the other bridesmaid has.
- Reply
Master November 2022
Chrysta · on December 2, 2020 at 5:40 PM
Flag

Hide content
I definitely would not suggest asking her to pay for both dresses. I do not think it is unreasonable for you to require her to pay for her own though. Maybe look at some sites that carry bridesmaids dresses with hi-lo hems. I think as long as the hems are similar it won’t draw attention to it.
- Reply
VIP December 2021
mrswinteriscoming · on December 2, 2020 at 6:27 PM
Flag

Hide content
I am OCD so I fully understand the need to have things matching. BUT, I don’t think it is fair that if new dresses are required, that both of your BMs be required to get new dresses. It is completely reasonable to have the pregnant BM (if she falls pregnant by then) pay for a new dress as necessary (which I acknowledge will not match) but it is not fair for her to pay for the other BM’s dress purely because you’ve decided that they will both need new dresses so as to match.

Right now she is not pregnant and there is no certainty as to how pregnant she will be by the time of your wedding, if at all. Take it easy and play it by ear.
- Reply
Master November 2020
Kristen · on December 2, 2020 at 7:37 PM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment

I read through all the comments and I get your annoyance (welcome to wedding planning lol) and I get that it is important to you the dresses match. I have learned with weddings you need to pick your battles. Definitely it is wrong and rude to ask her to pay for two dresses for deciding on an important life decision. Sadly, people base their lives on what is good for them. Can you sell the dress? Or let her keep it as her wedding party gift to wear or do whatever in the future? I do agree with having her buy another dress in the same color if she does become pregnant. I would at least let her know that you cannot afford to buy her another dress so if she becomes pregnant you would like her to buy a maternity dress based on the selection you choose. Truthfully it will be only you that will worry about the dresses not matching, no one else. I am sorry though because yeah it is frustrating.
- Reply

Master October 2020
Yasmine · on December 2, 2020 at 9:08 PM
Flag

Hide content
She's definitely not obligated to pay for your other friends dress. She could pay for hers but I wouldn't ask her to pay for someone else's dress. And if she's saying she'll be a few weeks to a few months then it's possible she won't need another dress.

For my pregnancy, I gained 13lbs my entire pregnancy and no one could tell until I was 5-6 months. So yes every pregnancy is definitely different
- Reply