Bridesmaid trouble?

This seems a little intense. Your wedding isn't for 8 months, so she has a SUPER long time for alterations. Several of my bridesmaids didn't even receive their dresses until 2 months before our wedding date.

I can see why you'd be annoyed since she's kind of the outlier and seems like she isn't being responsive to other things, not just about the dress. but like pp said, she does have quite a bit of time to try it on and get it fixed if needed, so i would let that be

You and your girls have so much time for alterations. I know you're excited, and that's okay, but everything will be done. Maybe send out a group text saying that they need to try on their dresses by a later date (maybe by May or the end of June) so then this bridesmaid has some breathing room, and you can breathe too knowing that everyone will get this done.

I'm not asking to try them on for alteration reasons, I just wanted them to go make sure they are the right size and that there isn't anything wrong with them in case we have to reorder or send back!! It took 6 months to get them this time, I'm just worried about that! The alterations arent until july!

Can you just go look at it to make sure? It sounds like the bridesmaid has a lot going on right now so it may be good to help her by going or bringing the dress to her house.

I think the issue here isn't so much about the dress (If you ordered them online/custom through a shop, I would confirm their return/exchange policy because while the wedding is plenty of time away, the time frame to return may be limited to 60 days, etc.) but the fact that she isn't responding to you at all, while you have a handful of other people who have been attentive and responded to you immediately.

Try and reach out to her, just to chat...NOT to talk wedding. See if you get a different response. Maybe she has a lot going on right now that no one else is aware of or is feeling stressed at work, issues at home, or a million other things that could be taking priority. She does have responsibility as your bridesmaid but you also have responsibility as her friend just to check in and see how she is doing as a person Cut out some non-wedding time for y'all to get coffee or catch up!

I'm not worried about the alterations! I'm just worried that it isnt the right size or there is something wrong with them, to the point that they will need reordered! Which took 6 months this time because they were a special order! They dont have them on hand if something is wrong!

I cant take it, She has to be the one to pick it up with a try one to make sure everything is okay, because if its taken from the shop without a try on they will not fit anything if its wrong!

My dress shop will reorder if there is something wrong or the size we order was wrong, but i cant do it, it has to be her thats why im annoyed. I just want to make sure they are okay! Plus the dress shop calls me to let me know that she hasn't went to try it on! As for trying to talk to her about non wedding stuff, that how i have messaged her million times! I have maybe asked about the dress 5 times since they have came in! WE have a group chat that we just talk about everything just not wedding stuff and she doesn't even answer that to our other friends. I have even made plans with just her to go to lunch which was her idea and she never showed or canceled on me!! I'm just annoyed because she wont answer me at all not even about wedding stuff. I feel like a crazy person txting someone all the time with no answer.

Yea this definitely sounds like something weird is going on, on her end of things? My initial thought was maybe she was feeling some kind of way about all the wedding talk (jealous? overwhelmed? etc) but to have no response to any communication, refusal to meet in person or bailing on scheduled plans it seems like there's a lot more going on here that she isn't sharing??

I agree! Im just not sure what! I mean yes im super annoyed about the dress thing because for one if she can even do this, what about my wedding day? But in the same breath im like well whats wrong with her? Is she okay? but i get no answer to anything, she reads its and than nothing! The time I talked to her was maybe 2 weeks ago and that was after sending the same message not only to her facebook but txtes too! The message was " Heey girl, I feel like we haven't hang in forever! Wanna get lunch and just hang? No wedding talk just us! I miss you and i feel like things have been rough lately for you, maybe just some girl time will help out! Lord knows i could use it too! Get back to me when you can love you!!" I sent it at least 10 times! and i got no answer until 3 days later which was "hey girl"...... Thats just annoying. I feel like im going way outta my way with everything else on my plate and it isnt far. But she is always posting on facebook, like every 5 mins but cant answer me? i really dont know what to do. I wanna be a good friend here but i feel like im coming off wrong.

That is so strange (and frustrating!). It seems like you've been really trying with her, and maybe she will pull through as a friend and a bridesmaid...and I hate to say it, but you may just need to start mentally preparing for the idea that she may not be reliable as a member of the wedding party? Since there's still a fair amount of time, you might not need to have some big coming to jesus conversation with her about being in the wedding just yet, but definitely mentally prepare yourself for her to not be a part of it, and if she had any responsibilities in planning other events, etc. go ahead and make sure you or someone else can take those on. I'm so sorry girl!

Its soooo frustrating!!!! I have tried and tried with her, i just dont know what else to do! I agree with you about her maybe not being in the wedding. I am going to give her some more time and maybe she will become better at it. i just dont know.