Alexis
Dedicated September 2020

Bridesmaid to moh

Alexis, on July 21, 2019 at 9:17 AM Posted in Planning 0 10
Saved Save
Reply
Has anyone ever had a bridesmaid that they wanted to "promote" to being a Matron of Honor because she's willingly helped you with more than you could of even asked for her? I already have a maid of honor (my 16 yo sister).
I was wondering if anyone has done this before, what everyone thought of it, and how people have done that before?

10 Comments

  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
    • Flag

    Being in your bridal party isn't a salaried position where you can earn promotions or demotions. It's great that your friend has been so helpful, however, you've already designated your sister as MOH and I think that now making your friend co-MOH would be hurtful. It will also be clear that you're making her MOH for all the wrong reasons, not because she's your nearest and dearest friend.

    • Reply
  • Wendy
    Rockstar August 2020
    Wendy ·
    • Flag
    I actually have a MOH and a matron of Honor because my sister is also 16 and of course very inexperienced.. she was okay with that because since she’s under age there’s some things she won’t be able to get done..
    I think at this point I wouldn’t promote her anymore...
    • Reply
  • Nikita
    VIP April 2019
    Nikita ·
    • Flag
    I agree with PP. If she's going above and beyond, try to find other ways to thank and honor her that doesn't seem like the wedding party is a job with promotion/demotion.

    I had a friend who would have been a bridesmaid years ago, but we didn't really keep in touch. So I asked her husband, who's the best big bro I never had, to me a bridesdude instead... Well, during the course of the wedding day, she was so pivotal (literally saving the wedding day), I wanted to do something to honor her too.
    I took her aside during the reception, told her how amazing I thought she had been, and gave her a gift. I also made sure to get a solo pic with her to celebrate her contribution which I plan on printing out and sending to her.
    • Reply
  • Melle
    Legend June 2019
    Melle Online ·
    • Flag
    I think at this point it's ok to leave people in their title roles and not need to change it. At the end of the day they're just all members of your party thatre there to support you
    • Reply
  • Kelly
    VIP October 2020
    Kelly ·
    • Flag
    I think in general you shouldn't change roles after you assign them it comes off weird. Bridal parties aren't competitions where you win a rank.
    • Reply
  • Gen
    Champion June 2019
    Gen ·
    • Flag
    I think it would be weird at this point. Asking someone to be your MOH is an honor because you’re telling them that they’re your closest friend. But once you ask her to be a bridesmaid (also a huge honor) and then after she helps out a lot you ask her THEN to be MOH, it seems like you’re only asking her to be MOH because she was helpful, which is the wrong reason. I’d just leave it.
    • Reply
  • Alexis
    Dedicated September 2020
    Alexis ·
    • Flag
    Yes I would have co MOH. Because she is constantly helping me with things. My sister is literally turning 16 the month. Before we get married so she has no clue about any of this. However, I was going to have my FH as the matron of honor because she has gone so far above & beyond without me really asking her to.
    • Reply
  • Alexis
    Dedicated September 2020
    Alexis ·
    • Flag
    My FH sister***
    • Reply
  • Danielle
    Dedicated October 2020
    Danielle ·
    • Flag
    When we first set a date I had a really difficult time with sitting with my best Friend just being a bridesmaid because I obviously made my sister my MOH. About 3 weeks ago I asked my sister if it was okay to make my best friend a matron of honor second in line to her and they were both fine with the idea. We haven’t really had to start any “planning yet” but they both have known each other forever and it takes the pressure off one MOH having to be responsible for so much. My other two bridesmaids had no issues with it either. They both knew why it was a important decision and again no official planning has started. Given all that. Once the planning starts I would never demote or promote anyone just because each of them know why I’ve chosen them and why they are special and I plan on giving tasks to my bridesmaids the day of that I know will fit them, just so everyone feels “important” I want them to feel equal about the amount of love I have for them as well as them understanding why they have been chosen rather then what they have or haven’t done. I have a bridesmaid in NC and I’m in NY and I’ve done a little more for her then the other but because she hasn’t/won’t been able to be here for everything and I don’t want her to feel less then or upset she couldn’t attend everything because she’s states away.
    • Reply
  • Amanda
    Savvy July 2020
    Amanda ·
    • Flag
    I went from being a groomsman to a bridesmaid because they had an uneven number. Lol
    • Reply

Comment on this discussion

×
WeddingWire celebrates love ...and so does everyone on our site! Learn more

WeddingWire article topics