Bridesmaid to Maid of Honor transition?

Omggg yes ask her ,especially if she's more in tune with the wedding.

I also had 3 BMs and no MOH because I didn't want to choose one over the other. I think your first instinct is right to keep them all bridesmaids. You shouldn't give someone the title based on what they do for you but rather based on the strength of your relationship. I think you should leave it as is.

Once everyone know your original choice, BM or MOH , you cannot demote or promote anyone. Saying, this person is very helpful, I will promote her, says to others, and leave you down with the lowly non-performing bridesmaids. These are not employees, they are very close friends or family. BM and MOH are equals. The MOH is often given initially to the one everyone knows you have always been closer to, or known the longest. But having declared them equal to begin with, any change makes the others feel insulted. The proper thing is that if you give your bridesmaids gifts in a group, you give each individual something they would like, but all are of similar value. But privately, later, you can write a separate letter, and / give an additional gift, to the one whom you and she know went out if her way, traveled further, did more. And call it an extra act of support and friendship on her part. Different from promoting her . If the others get upset, frankly, they have no business talking about something you did privately. But promoting one to MOH now would humiliate the others publicly. Not nice.

MOH isn’t a job, it’s an honor. It’s not for the person who shows the most interest in your wedding, it’s for the person who you want to honor for being closest to you. If she is that person, go for it.

Leave it as is. When you arrange the order your girls walk in and stand, you can choose to have her be the one standing closest to you.

Leave it as is. Don’t “promote” her because she’s done more for you.

It sounds like you want to do it simply because she helped more and that’s kind of messed up, quite honestly. Your MOH is supposed to be your best friend. Maybe the others girls care about you just as much as she does but had valid reasons not to come. Promoting her because he happened to have the free time to come would be superficial. But if you, like, had an epiphany and realized that she’s actually your best friend, then I guess it’s okay...

Leave it as is and get her an extra special gift.

View Quoted Comment I agree with earias.

This isn't exactly the same situation but... A long long time ago, I promised that my best friend at the time would be my maid of honor. We had a big conversation about it and everybody was thrilled. But when it came time for wedding planning of course, that relationship had vastly changed. I knew she still remembered the promise so I asked her to be my maid of honor and I asked several others to be bridesmaids. Low and behold, my maid of honor and I ended up having a serious conversation that led to her deciding she wouldn't be able to be my maid of honor after all. I had been wanting one specific bridesmaid to be my maid of honor during the entire thing.. and I was so crushed every time I thought about her not being my maid of honor. I was seriously considering just having two at the time but had already asked her to be a bridesmaid and didn't know what to do. When the other maid of honor stepped down I felt like it was a sign. I called up my bridesmaid on FaceTime and told her the truth. That I had always wanted her to be my maid of honor and that I felt obligated to keep a promise to an old friend, but that I'd always regret it if I didn't ask her to be my maid of honor and so I was hoping that she would be mine. After a very sentimental speech she happily accepted and never once has she indicated that she was offended she wasn't asked first. Untraditional and not at all how I imagined it but it ended up working out perfectly and I'm happy enough with it.

I would caution though.. don't promote somebody because they seem the most interested. Only ask them genuinely if you really truly want THEM to be your maid of honor because of the special friendship you two have.

I don't think it would be right to change things now. You can just thank your friend who's doing extra a little more. I have my 3 best friends and my cousin who's like a sis. They're all equal in my eyes so two are matrons and two are maids of honor. Only my cousin has really gone out of her way to plan everything. She will be standing beside me on the day of and giving the toast.

View Quoted Comment

I 100% agree with this! I also chose not to have a MOH. I don't think it's something that you should earn as a "reward" for good behavior, but rather, speaks to that persons overall role in your life. For me (and it sounds like for you too!) I simply couldn't choose any of my best friends over the other, so decided to forgo. At the end of the day...it's just a title (and frankly one that comes with a lot more stress/pressure than if they all just share the duties!)

I would ask her!

Yes ask her, she is wanting to be there to help you out. She sounds like she's very excited for you and that's what you need. My maid of honor has done nothing for me. And her and I have been friends since 2001.

I'm conflicted on this because if you initially felt they should all be bridesmaids cause of your equal relationships then i think thats the right choice. They can equally continue to participate as bridesmaids. Even if your one friend participates even more. It might cause a rift if they knew they were all bridesmaids and now your promoting one over the other. I don't believe people get titles over their interest in the wedding. I have a maid and matron of honor due to our close relationships. If they weren't able to do these "duties" or take more interest i wouldn't care about the title. Some may just be busier but it doesn't mean they are not interested.

MOH isn't an award for being super helpful, it's a honor given to the person you are the absolute closest to in normal regular ordinary life. You saw these three friends as being all the same in terms of closeness, don't shake things up now.