Hi everyone! I'd appreciate your thoughts on this situation. When picking our WPs, both my FH and I decided to pick our best childhood friends with whom we are still very close as our MOH and best man. My MOH lives overseas but that was ok with me as I dont really care for wedding showers etc (things that would require her to be in my area). Since then, my MOH's work situation has changed and she has told me that she might not be able to make it to the wedding although she would likely not know until ~1 month before. So my question is, can I ask one of my bridesmaids (who also lives closer to me) to be a co-MOH? It wouldn't be like she's my second choice as I was really torn between picking her and my current MOH but we just decided to both choose our childhood friends and at the time I didn't really realize you could have two MOHs... I would obviously phrase it very politely so as to not hurt anyone's feelings.
I chose not to have a maid of honor at all because I personally did not want to make it look like I valued one friendship over another. My cousin took charge of the bridal shower, but other than that, there is not much that needs to be done in terms of roles. I think that if you are okay with it, you can just leave it the way it is. It I were that bridesmaid, I would feel like you are only upgrading me since your top choice did not work out. I know you say that you had a hard time choosing and I believe that, but in the moment, someone else will probably overlook that.
Future Mrs. K ·
I agree with Tara. I think you should just leave it as is, it's perfectly fine to not have a MOH at all. I think if you ask her to do it now, you is going to seem like she was a second choice.
I agree with the pp's, you don't want your friend to feel like she was your second choice, no matter what way you phrase it. You should keep you MOH as it is and try and be okay with just having BM's on your wedding day if your MOH cannot attend.