Bridesmaid Tattoos

Choose gowns for ALL that have illusion lace sleeves and higher illusion neckline, tattoos or not. Or look at the bodies of all, including this person you feel close enough to want in your party. But to not choose het because if her tattoos would be like nit choosing someone with a different skin color, or Asian eyefolds, or freckles characteristic of their heritage. Whether ir not you like tattoos , they are part of the body she has now. If one BM had a lower leg brace, and another had a severe curvature of the spine, and a third had scars from a fire last year, all down one arm, would you choose a dress style for all that was floor length, and skimmed over body curves rather than tightly clinging, with at least a lacy or net sleeve, because you want the focus to be on their faces and personalities, rather than every individual's physical attributes? Then that is reasonable for a wedding party with anyone in it. But do not reject a true friend because of what others may think of her patterned skin, or what you do. Just accommodate all, alike, by your gown choices.

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Not exaggerating. She has many face tattoos, yes. Her face isn't completely covered, but there are several. Her neck and chest are completely covered. She has full sleeves on all 4 limbs and almost a completely covered torso. I am not being hyperbolic when I say that she has run out of space to the point of just tattooing over other tattoos because she wants them but no longer has the real estate.

Thank you to those who have actually been helpful or tried to offer real advice. Obviously I love her. I would never say any of this to her or ask her to cover them up (unless I simply found a dress with sleeves that I liked, in which case they would all wear it). For reasons I don't feel I need to disclose here, no I don't think she would be upset if I didn't ask her because I honestly don't even think she knows I'm considering it. But I've known her forever, she's the friend I can get in "trouble" with (and every bride needs that bridesmaid!), and I want to do all the fun celebration stuff with her.

You're probably right, though. They may look at her momentarily, but people will be there for me and my beau so that's really what they'll be focused on. Thanks again to those of you who were kind and offered insight. Much appreciated.

I can’t tell if you don’t like her tattoos in general or if you don’t like them specifically related to your wedding. If you have an issue with the tattoos in general one thing to consider is how close you really are to her, because it seems like a big part of who she is. If you’re regularly silently judging her then maybe you’re not really that close? If you really are close and you just can’t deal with them in wedding pictures maybe ask her to do a reading?

View Quoted Comment This^^also she’s your best friend. As someone who has a lot of tattoos I would be incredibly insulted if my friend asked me to change myself to be less distracting at their wedding. There’s a good chance she won’t go or even talk to you again, you’ll be the center of all the attention don’t worry about her or what she looks like

I think she would be devastated if you excluded her for that reason. I have a solid amount of tattoos and I’ll be wearing a black wedding dress, with all of my bridesmaids in long sleeve black dresses.
You could always consider a long sleeve dress if you’re that against her tattoos, but I don’t think that kind of insecurity should destroy a friendship. I’d be livid if someone said that to me. It’s who I am. I wouldn’t change.

View Quoted Comment It’s both. I dislike her tattoos in general but this is something we’ve talked about a lot, so she definitely knows. No silent judging, I just don’t like them. She’s a tattoo artist and we simply have different ideas about how and why to get them (although she has tattooed me, so there’s that). But it isn’t my body so, like, you do you, boo. I only comment on them if she asks.
But this is specifically about my wedding. Otherwise it’s just a part of her and not worth discussing. Which, I guess, should be my answer right there.

It seems like the core issue is that maybe you don't like the tattoos. While you accept her as your friend to "get into trouble" with you don't want to parade her around because you are more worried about what other people may think of her or you.

It’s your decision, but for me, tattoos are very distracting! I keep staring at it and looking at the detail of the art.

Think about it like this: would you even be having this debate if 1. she was overweight and the rest of the BMs were thin? 2. If she was a brunette and the rest of the BMs were blondes? 3. IF she had bad acne on her face and the other BMs had clear skin? Sounds silly when you think of it that way, right?

You may laugh at my comparisons, but hopefully this will get you to see that we all come in different shapes, sizes and colors. What matters is what's on the inside. Appearance should never be a deciding factor. Your guests will be there for YOU and FH. Nobody else is going to steal the attention away from you.

If y’all are good friends I would think it be OK to talk to her about it and see if maybe she would consider using make up or whatever to cover them up for the day for you

I know how you are feeling but my situation is easier to resolve than yours! My fiancé’s sister in law has tattoos all over in random places. One is the purple dinosaur from the land before time on her thigh and if the bridesmaids wore cocktail dresses it would be seen, so I’m doing gowns for the bridesmaids. She has one on her shoulder and a saying tattoo on her back too so that will still be seen. You can’t help that people have tattoos in your wedding photos. Your focus should be on you and your day.

What type of tattoos are they? Are they "tasteful," inasmuch as they can be? I think if they're possibly offensive, or something that would be out of place in a church (assuming that's where your ceremony will be), then I'd consider letting her sit this one out. If they're butterflies, scenes, or faces or something, then I'd probably ask her to participate.

You are going to be a stunning bride and eyes will be on you no matter what! My best advice is to really internalize that and not worry about any attention being averted. Think about it this way, would you rather look back at your photos and not see your best friend?

It’s funny when people compare having a ridiculous amount of tattoos to being overweight or having acne. One the tattoos are a choice, and 2 they are meant to be looked at. So unlike someone who is obese or someone who has a lot of acne and doesn’t want to be looked at and people usually have the sense to not look at them for uncomfortably long periods of time. Whilst people who have lots of tattoos will get lots of looks and have people actually come up and ask them about their tattoos. I just don’t think you can compare those at all. If you want her to be included in the wedding and not in the bridal party, then that is your right as long as she doesn’t assume she’s going to be in the bridal party. The last thing you want to do is hurt her feelings and damage your relationship. So do what you think is best and go about it in a respectful manner.

I have a few tattoos on my arms and when I was in my cousins wedding I asked if she wanted me to cover them up with make up. It doesn’t sound like this is an option (I have 4). Sleeves seem to be the best option. Talk to her. Though I have them but understand not every one likes them.

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At a cousins wedding I went to one of the bridesmaids (another cousin) had a lot of tattoos (I hadn't seen her since she had gotten them all) and I still only noticed while she came down the aisle and then didn't pay attention to it again until I watched her walk back up the aisle to leave.

I can see where you are coming from especially with face tattoos. It's a lot to look at and handle. I myself have 3 tattoos that are mainly concealed on a daily basis, unless it's summer (one thigh, one on my foot). I like tattoos but being covered and especially face tattoos cause me to stare. To put into perspective at our friends wedding, her one bridesmaid legit had big bangs covering her forehead in which half were black and half were bleach blonde. It was really distracting any time I looked at the bridesmaids as a whole and FH was like "would you want that in your wedding" and admittedly I said hell no. She looked like Sia up there. That being said I only stared at her when she was in my view otherwise my focus was on the bride. I was a guest though; I don't have to keep those pictures from her wedding. But at the same time I think brides mostly keep their couple pictures up around their house. I think there are options in terms of sleeved bridesmaid dresses or shawls. I think it's something only you can decide if you can let her appearance go or not.

I get it, I come from a much older family and some from differing religions and have the same
issue. I chose a dress with bell sleeves for that reason and my other bridesmaids are complaining. I love my friends and all their tattoos, but aesthetically I see them as a distraction in photography. I’m picking out my wedding dress with the notion in mind even that I don’t want anything to busy because people spend their time focused on all the details on the dress. I asked our makeup artist if she could be made available to offer tattoo cover up and thought I had all the angles covered, but one bridesmaid had to make problems and say something because she wants a different dress and I know if I have them chose their own, some also don’t pick well according to their body types, some too sexy etc, so I thought I’d main stream it, but now I’m just getting a migraine. I’ve been a bridesmaid at least a dozen times and would have worn a potato sack if that’s what the bride wanted to make her look better, but this is more than I bargained for.

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I agree. If you love her as is any other day, I'm curious why you asked her to be a bridesmaid knowing she does have this body art. It is part of who she is. Either you are you her friend unconditionally or you aren't. Deal with it.