Bridesmaid Tasks

Make sure they WANT to help with small stuff before you actually make them files. It will be really hard if they all live in different places. Technically bridesmaids only have to buy their dresses and show up, if they want to do more, great but they shouldn't be required to unless you already told them.

Though I don't know what they could help with from states away.

EDIT: I missed the part where they were wanting to help.

One of my bridesmaids lives far away. She couldn't help with anything. She's flying in a few days before the wedding to help with things like escort cards and stuff like that. Other than that, there wasn't anything she could do from afar.

My bridesmaids didn't start helping until closer to the date when smaller items started popping up. In the beginning you're right, it's all the venue booking, etc, which they can't really help with. As you get closer, things may come up that you can hand off to them -- welcome packets, programs, other DIY stuff ... it's tough that they are all in different states. It really limits what they can and can't do.

You can also have them start researching dresses, shoes, etc, for them? Unless that's been decided already?

I'm sure things will come up down the road

There's really not much they can do except buy the dress and show up. Maybe look at dressed they like to show you, show you some hair styles/makeup looks they like, decor ideas, but really from that far away it's tough. I helped one friend with her DIY but I wanted to and lived nearby.

Id just tell them you are covered but if they have some dress ideas or processional song ideas (for them) to let you know.

Bridesmaid Tasks:

Get Dress

Show Up

nothing else is their task. they can offer to take on certain items, and MOH can offer to throw the "extra" parties, but nothing is required other than to show up. so talk with them first, an see if they want to do your tasks from out of state. they may think its just "help me look at dresses or color charts" but really you need on site help and they may not be able to help like they think. and if they fail to help with the item they pick, ugh, bad blood

Thank you for the input. They all do want to help and have asked several times what they can help with but I haven't had any tasks yet that I would feel comfortable letting someone else take over for me.

@kate letting go of the tasks and delegating is the hardest part for me. nobody know EXACTLY what you're wanting to have the outcome be. maybe they can help gather addresses or pick a rehearsal dress?

I am having my two sisters do my bridal shower. So they are happy with that. I've also left them all the task of finding their own shoes that fit the criteria. I asked the other bridesmaid to work on a ceremony program outline. I'm sure I'll end up making a few little fixes but that's something she can work on ahead of time and I don't have to worry about. I've also asked them to help pick some of the music and search for suitable ceremony readings. And last of all, just include them in your decisions. For example you narrow a choice down to 2 or 3. Then you ask your FH and all the bridesmaid to give input into the decision

My bridesmaids live far away from me, and like you all of them were asking to help, but I didn't really have anything for them to help with.

Instead I used them for ideas. I asked one for ideas for bible verses for the ceremony. My MOH I bounced any ideas off of her. She was great for brainstorming and telling me if my ideas were stupid or great. Another BM helped with getting addresses and contact info (she is the sister of FH).

Use your BMs for ideas and advice and ask for help with things that can be done over a computer.

I want my bridesmaids to buy their dress, show up and have fun with my on the day off, I don't expect them to do anything else. My FH is actually my biggest help in the planning process, we are working as a team.

When I was my sister's MOH I wanted to help but I live over 3000 miles away. I helped her by giving her my opinion on things or being an ear to listen. So when our mom was driving her crazy I'd listen, when she wanted to see what I thought about her latest DIY I'd help her out, when she asked if this should be blue or green I'd tell her which one looked better, etc. When I visited I went to a couple cake places with her and such. Then she wanted to have advice cards for people to write notes instead of a guest book and she wasn't really sure what to do with them so I got some stamps and made them, I think she really liked that and it took something off her plate. So if there is any DIY thing that you don't REALLY care about (favors? table numbers? etc) and you know they're crafty then that might be a way they can help. But if they really are that interested (which is awesome!) then just include them with some of your decisions. Get their opinions on what shoes they like (and even if you know your favorite, you still have the final say) but that might make them feel like they're helping. Sounds like you have great friends!

My bridesmaids are spread across several states as well. I made a secret facebook group so they could be included in the little details. They like to know whats going on with stuff and that way I can easily ask their opinions if they want to give it.

I think they can help you choosing wedding accessories. Assign these works to all your bridesmaid, and this will make ease your task.

Mine just showed up. Oh, and bought their dresses.

My sister helped me with everything I asked - since my parents are dead she's my only family and she wanted to help make my wedding as nice as she could. She was my sounding board.

Now, the day of the wedding is when my girls helped the most - they helped me set up and 2/3 helped me tear down.

My wedding was pretty simple; there wasn't anything really to do before the day of. At least, nothing I could delegate. I did the invitations by myself (with my husband's help, of course), I chose my own shoes and accessories, I didn't really have any DIY. I had my sister's friends help more (they were available) and they helped me shop for things - picture frames for the table name/number (and one printed the signs for me), one made my seating chart poster, etc.

All I really told my BM's was: dates of the pre-wedding events (and for them to just let me know if they couldn't make it to anything), where/when we were going dress shopping, and then just told them the kind of shoes I'd want them to get. That was it.

I sent them emails with things about the wedding in general like: can they bring a guest, the theme of the wedding, where we were registered (if anyone asked them), and just general things I'd want them to help me with the day of.

Day of things were:

1. Keep the music going

2. Keep the moscato flowing

3. Make sure I stay hydrated

4. Make sure I pee a lot (especially before I get into my dress)

5. Make sure I'm chill, and if anything goes wrong, keep it AWAY from me.

They were all fantastic throughout the whole process.