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Just Said Yes June 2020

Bridesmaid Selections

Makayla, on July 1, 2019 at 11:57 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 5

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I’m having a little trouble picking out my last bridesmaid and need advice. I have two ladies that I love to pieces, but haven’t seen much of recently. One is my sister, who has been MIA for the past five years and has recently rejoined my family post pregnancy. Her son will be my ring bearer. The other is my childhood best friend. We parted ways after we chose different colleges, and I haven’t seen her for about four years. Both of these ladies have played major roles in my life, but they have both also missed out on the last few years of my life. As my wedding date draws closer I have reconnected with them both and am now struggling to choose what I should do (if anything) about having them in my wedding party. I have one bridesmaid space available if I want to be even with my soon to be husband’s number of groomsmen. I was trying to maybe think of creative ways for them both to be involved?? I was thinking of asking my sister to escort her son down the aisle as he’ll only be about a year and a half old at the time, but didn’t know how that would make her feel to walk down the aisle and sit down in a row instead of standing by me.. please send ideas/advice! I don’t want to hurt either of their feelings as they both meant so much to me growing up, they’ve just both have missed huge parts of my life and I am unsure about what to do.

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5 Comments

Latest activity by Michelle, on July 2, 2019 at 8:08 AM

Legend June 2019
Melle · on July 2, 2019 at 12:03 AM
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I didn't have my brother and his wife in my wedding party. however, they still walked down the aisle and their names were still in my program. Similar to how the parents walk in the processional I had my brother and his wife do the same too. It was like my way of recognizing them
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Savvy June 2020
Sydney · on July 2, 2019 at 12:53 AM
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Hi Makayla,
It sounds like you are in a tough spot with deciding who to choose as your bridesmaids. There is a lot of pressure with choosing folks, and in my opinion, if someone hasn't been in your life for sometime, they probably won't be in your life more often than they have been after your wedding. I think you should choose people who you are close to now and people that you can constantly rely on and trust.
I had a horrible debate on whether to ask my childhood friend who I haven't been very close to for years to be my maid of honor or my current best friend who's been with me through thick and thin. I ended up going with my current best friend. I knew that I could trust her and she would be there for me, and it's worked out great so far.
Best of luck!
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Dedicated September 2019
Sarah · on July 2, 2019 at 6:02 AM
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In my opinion, friends come and go and sometimes drift apart. Your sister is always going to be in your life.
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WeddingWire Administrator January 2025
Sinéad · on July 2, 2019 at 7:49 AM
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Hi Makayla! Congratulations on your engagement! Welcome to the WeddingWire community!
I completely understand that you are in a bit of a predicament as to who you should invite to be in your bridal party. It is clear that both of these women mean a lot to you.
Is it important to you that your BM’s are an even number with your FH’s groomsmen? If both of these women mean that much to you, you could ask both of them to be in your bridal party. There is no written rule that both sides have to match numbers.
You could definitely ask your sister to walk up the aisle with her son, especially since he may be a little unsteady on his feet at only a year and a half. After seating her son with a family member, she could absolutely stand with you, if that is what you wish.
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Super August 2019
Michelle · on July 2, 2019 at 8:08 AM
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Our bridal party is not even. I have 4 bridesmaids and my FH has 5 groomsmen. It doesn't have to be even unless it really means that much to you to have it that way. If that is the case, I would go with your sister and maybe find some other way for your friend to be involved. Like PP said, friends can come and go but family is family.
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