Bridesmaid requesting feedback!

Hey there! New to Reddit, hopefully I am posting in the correct area. I apologize in advance for the long post, I’m just struggling and want genuine feedback. I will be part of a bridal party in a couple months, this will be my first time ever attending a wedding! The main reason I do not attend weddings, or any formal events, is because I feel extremely uncomfortable and anxious in dresses & heels! Let me start by saying I did not realize how expensive being a bridesmaid can be! Also worth mentioning I am a trans woman and I unintentionally and unsolicitedly command a lot of attention, with all humbleness I am easy on the eyes and people are very curious! Regardless if I am completely glammed up or wearing sweatpants and 7 day hair! Truth be told, I hate attention but it is out of my control. The bride has known me for 8 years and is well aware of this. As well as her being aware of my deep anxieties and reluctancy to dresses and heels. That being said, my physical appearance, my aesthetic and the general way I prefer to present myself to others is of the upmost importance to me because it is one of the only things I have full control over in regards to my anxiety and it really aids in my comfortability whilst out in public, knowing I feel my best. That leads to my high maintenance of having very long well-done hip length hair, changing my hair color often, having extra extra long acrylic nails, and being a makeup artist my face is always on 10. This has been the case since I was 16, since the bride has met me. Nothing has changed throughout the years. This is not my special day and I refuse to throw a tantrum over dress & heels, given that is standard dress code. And I am able to put certain things aside when it comes to my comfortability because those are two basic elements of any wedding that the bride should be able to dictate. When it came down to choosing my preferred style of bridesmaid dress, she was very understanding and forgiving as she knew I am not comfortable at all wearing dresses. As well as the shoes, I was able to pick the heels I was most comfortable wearing (given the dress will cover my heels completely). She, of course, chose the color for both dress & heels. However, as of lately, I notice she is suddenly being very critical of the rest of personal aesthetic choices such as hair & nails! Like I said, I tend to change my hair color every now and then, however it is never anything otherworldly or outrageous. I tend to do bright colored streaks, or fun babylights. The most dramatic I have ever dyed my hair was 2 months ago, I dyed my entire head a deep rich red (attached reference photo). The dresses are a beautiful misty blue (atta bed reference photo). She asked recently if I planned to keep that hair color for the wedding, I told her most likely considering I spent $400 on my hair. She expressed concern over my hair color would clash with the dress color and alluded to her preferring I change it. I told her I would consider it, but wasn’t sure and would let her know. I ended up letting her know I was not willing to spend another $400 dollar to change my hair color for one day, and also risk further damage to my hair. As well as having recently had a hairline procedure, I refuse to apply bleach to my hair anytime soon. I considered a wig but have no idea how to apply one, as well as wigs are roughly in the same price range ~$300-400. The next thing she expressed distaste for was my XL acrylic nails, she felt it would take away from the vibe she was going for in the wedding. She proceeded to show me photos and to say “This is as long as you would be able to get your nails done.” I entertained it at the moment to not cause conflict, I am trying to be as selfless as possible and not make this about me. But again, this is another thing I am paying out of pocket for and I tend to spend ~$100 on my nails every 3 weeks. My issue is that she has known me to change my hair color and have always maintained the same style/length acrylics. I feel it is unfair to ask someone to be your bridesmaid and then proceed to ask them to change numerous physical qualities about them. Especially given my situation that my appearance is one of the few things I have full control over that aids directly to easing my anxiety in public spaces. I have already put my feelings aside in multiple different circumstances, for the sake of not being a troublesome bridesmaid and understanding this is her day, not mine. But these other little things are getting to the point where it is leaving a bad taste in my mouth. I could maybe, potentially, oblige to these requests if she were offering paying for my hair & nails, but that is not the case. On top of paying almost $300 for the dress, $70 for shoes, $70 for jewelry she specifically requested, $100 for nails! I am absolutely not in a comfortable financial state to spending this kind of money, only to end up feeling uncomfortable and not myself at all especially all for one day. Truth be told, I have not expressed most of these feelings to her and if I were to, I believe she would understand. But I wanted outside perspective about, Am I a bad person for not budging on changing certain things about my appearance for the wedding?