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Expert November 2021

Bridesmaid question

Jade, on January 6, 2020 at 3:59 PM Posted in Planning 0 3

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I have one more friend to ask to be my BM but I’m a little hesitant. We are not having kids at our wedding for many reasons but mainly because our venue doesn’t offer a kids price so we’d be paying the full per person price even though they obviously cannot use the bar and most likely won’t eat much of our four course meal. My friend had a baby in August and just married a man who has 3 kids. Idk if I should tell her when I ask her that they are not going to be invited. I’ll make an exception if the baby is still breastfeeding of course but not for all 4 of them. Is this something I should tell her when I ask her? How should I go about saying this if I should? She’s also in the military so I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s unable to be a BM so I don’t know if I should just wait on the kids thing.

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Master January 2015
null · on January 6, 2020 at 4:03 PM
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When you ask her, I would just let her know that you're having a no kids wedding. It may not phase her at all, it would give her an excuse to hire a babysitter so her and her husband could attend your wedding as a date night
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Master November 2020
Kristen · on January 6, 2020 at 4:16 PM
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Worried I would just say I would like for you to be my bridesmaid however the venue on the day of the wedding we're not having kids it's going to be an adults only wedding and reception. I would love for you and your spouse to come but if you do you would have to find someone to watch your children. I've had friends that have recently gotten married and someone in their bridal party had kids but their wedding and reception was adults only. So she has a couple of options she can either ask her husband to watch the kids and she come alone or they can find a babysitter or family to watch their kids for the evening so they can attend. I just feel like being upfront with that nicely will give her the opportunity to decide can she come or not.
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Devoted June 2020
· on January 6, 2020 at 10:44 PM
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I would tell her exactly that, you’re not having children at the wedding A lot of times when a couple is invited to a wedding, they want a nice night to themselves and treat it as a date night.
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