Bridesmaid Proposals

I would do something small to ask them, and then you can give them the goodies after they accept. Proposals put a lot of pressure on bridesmaids who may not be able to accept the offer.

I asked my bridesmaids when I told them we were engaged - I already knew who we were having in our wedding party before we even got engaged! So I didn't do anything big to ask them. But I am doing some cute things for their gifts!

I would skip the proposal. I can't stand them personally as they put the bm on the spot to say yes. Put your money towards the thank you gift at the end and just ask them

I would just ask them individually . if they say yes, you could consider organizing a brunch and giving them a little gift (if you want to, this is totally unnecessary). asking them altogether puts a lot of pressure on everyone to say yes.

I gave myself a budget. I didn't want to spend more than $25/person, so I went into a candle store and ended up spending $15/person, as the MOH is getting one extravagant candle and candle holder, and the bridesmaids got four small candles (cost like $1 each) and a candle holder to go with it. I chose candles that were my colors, one of them was rose scented.

I then bought them cards and wrote a cheesy poem in there asking them to join the wedding party.

Call them or meet up with them and ask them to be your bridesmaid. I am flabbergasted as to why this is such a big thing now.

Unless you 100% for certain know that they are going to say yes, please consider asking them individually. It's a lot of pressure to be asked in front of other people. This happened to me and it was horrible, and I felt pressured to be in the wedding of someone I barely knew because she asked me when we were eating dinner at a restaurant with all of our friends.

ETA: When I say "all of our friends", she was the fiancee of one of my husband's friends and not someone I was close to at all.

Please, please scrap this idea. It's way too much pressure on them to accept. You should ask each person privately, using your words. Then maybe you can get everyone together for a brunch if you want.

PS: It's too early to ask your bridal party. Give it a few months.

It would be much better and kinder to simply ask each BM individually if they will be your BM. If you ask them in public as a group, they'll be pressured to say yes, when really, any one of them might feel like she has too much going on in her life or that buying a BM dress would be too great a financial burden for her if she's already under financial stress. If you asked each one privately, anyone who might have a concern about affording the dress or whatever would be able to bring that up with you so the two of you can discuss it openly. You would be able to assure her that you'll make sure the dress is within whatever budget she is comfortable with or that you will pay the difference (if you're willing) if the dress is more expensive than that before she agrees to be a BM. Or, you'll understand why she's declining to be a BM because you've been able to have an open, private conversation about why she just can't do it right now. Same with an extravagant proposal gift. It would put pressure on someone to say yes when she may really have preferred to say she can't.

I think it'd be better to save the bulk of your BM thank you gifts until the RD/weekend of the wedding. Ask each BM individually with no pressure, then gather everyone who says yes for a BM brunch if you want (that sounds fun!). At the bunch, if you really want to give then something, keep it simple. There's no need at that point to get then anything, so if you did get them gifts, something small would be more appropriate.

I did a proposal. It was cheap there's 4 in my party and the flower girl. For my 4 I got them little gift bags for like a "at home spa day" and the flower girl a puzzle that said "will you be my flower girl?" And a bracelet. For everything it was under $50. As far as their fits for the wedding it will be a robe and jewelry and a pair of sunglasses that's when I'll make the splurge!

I did something like this. It was easy and cheap but was still better than a text. It's just spraying mini champagne bottles with glue and glitter. I also found free printables for the tags and just looped those on there. I ordered the glasses off of Etsy, but you could do plain flutes with no names. I also ordered a card that said "I can't say I Do without you" and wrote each one a little note.

ETA: I gave them the boxes individually (had to mail some) in case anybody had questions, maybe couldn't afford it, etc. Everyone loved their little box and they all said yes

I bought cards from Etsy for my 2 older bridesmaids. I'll probably just pick up a single white rose for each of them (the flowers being used in the wedding) and just give that to them.

Thanks to everyone for the advice! All of my bridesmaids already know that they are in the wedding so the pressure thing isn't an issue. I just want to have a nice little get together so everyone can talk and really say thank you for agreeing to be my bridesmaids. They are all like sisters so I want them to know that I like the idea of a simple proposal with something more at the rehearsal dinner

Ask them individually, that way if someone has to say no, they won't feel bad saying it front of a group. Also, while the proposals are cute and trendy, it puts a lot of pressure on the person being asked. I've shared this before on here, but I received a proposal from a girl that I am not that close to anymore. She put so much thought into it and kept texting to ask if I had received anything, that I felt guilty saying no. I actually stared at the whole kit for awhile before I picked up the phone to get more information. I didn't even know when she was getting married.

If you still really want to do the proposal, do it after they have accepted. My SIL did this. She called me to ask to be her maid of honor. After I accepted she sent me a little care package that had chapstick, nail polish, and tea in it.

Small gift/token of your appreciation. Something larger at the rehearsal dinner. Robes/stuff that says Bridesmaid/Jewelry to wear at the wedding don't count, those are props for your photos.