Honestly I did my quite quickly but I had a long time To decide lol. We were together for 8 years before proposal. I got engaged on sept of 2018 and started to asked everyone I’m oct of 2018, i did it this way so everyone had more than enough time to get their dresses
View Quoted Comment
I’m in a similar situation I’ve been with my partner 7 years , engaged for 3 years, we never rushed on a wedding for financial reasons but I’m tired of waiting so we’ve finally decided to move forward. I would like to ask early considering it’s mostly family and I want to give everyone reasonable amount of time to not stress over the financial aspect.
I asked my bridesmaids about 2 months after getting engaged, which is about a year before the wedding. Honestly, I was telling half of them so much about the planning process that once we picked a date and venue I was too excited to wait, and once I asked half of them, I felt it would be wierd to wait to ask the others. I've definitely heard of people waiting until 6 months before though!
I personally don't think it matters. The reactions will be the same whether it's family or friends. Many of those posts also mention asking family out of obligation, not because they are genuinely close either. The stories of falling out with family is worse because you have to interact with these people. Again only ask your nearest and dearest closest people no earlier than 6 months.
Depending on your wedding vision, I'd say about 6 months to a year. If it's a destination wedding, I'd suggest asking closer to about a year out so they have ample time to plan and can be sure they're able to commit to being in your wedding party. Closer to 6 months is better for a local/mostly local wedding, though, since relationships with people do change. I got engaged 10/30/2020 and asked my ladies within 2 weeks. To be fair, my wedding is 4/24/2021 so the engagement isn't even quite 6 months long.
About 6-12 months. I asked my girls at 10 months before the wedding. The reason being is because I wanted to be mindful of their important dates (birthdays, anniversaries, special trips, etc). I did not want for it to clash with dates leading up to my wedding for like the bachelorette festivities and so forth. Therefore, we all went through everyone's schedules and planned out dates. Yes, be mindful of what other brides or future brides went through or are going through with one of their girls.. But do NOT let that put fear into your decision of who you want to stand by your side. Instead watch out for signs the minute one of the girls starts to act up and try to find solutions right away. Try your best to really decide who you want to be a part of the bridal party. If there is someone who already has a negative trait then do not ask them because they might project that onto your happiness. Good luck on choosing your girls!!
View Quoted Comment
@heather thank you so much! Yes I want to give them reasonable time to be sure no dates clash as well as time to prepare and discuss what financially reasonable. I wouldn’t want anyone to feel stressed or pressured due to time or money. I’m asking mainly family and close friends that I believe would make my day special and have already weeded out anyone who would bring me any stress. I had a start to planning before the pandemic and already got a taste of who would and wouldn’t contribute to my peace of mind with all of this so I’m fairly confident in my choices as of now. Again thank you so much
View Quoted Comment
Thank you! Yes I am planning on something a little further from where I live so I do want to give fair amount of time to figure out what’s doable and what’s not as well as money factors. I was thinking about 10-12 months. My engagement has been fairly long with little talk on wedding for a while so I don’t want to spring anything on anyone on short notice. Best wishes to you!!
I think it's a personal decision. I know many people on this forum have run into some trouble when asking people too soon, but I couldn't resist asking my girls the night I got engaged! I got engaged 1 year and 2 months before our wedding. I sent them small gifts later after asking. I had 4 bridesmaids: my sister (MOH), sister in law, best friend from childhood, and best friend from college. I knew that there was zero chance of these relationships changing, so I felt 100% comfortable asking them right away. Waiting until the 6-month mark would definitely not have worked for me, because my girls did custom sizing on their bridesmaids dresses and we placed the group order 7 months out (there was a long production time with the designer we selected). I also wanted to ask well in advance because each of my bridesmaids lived in a different state, and they all had to travel to the wedding, so I wanted to give them plenty of time. The most important reason for me asking them right away was to make sure their schedules worked for the date we were considering. My bridesmaids were my VIPs: I definitely didn't want to risk booking my venue and selecting my date until I knew that they would be available that weekend!
I have asked my crew all by this point. We are getting married in April 2022. I've thought about who would stand up their with me since before he gave me the ring. And I picked people who have stood though the thick and the thin with me. I know a few have commitments with their family as care givers that can keep them from coming. But I couldn't see planning my wedding without them knowing they are that important to me.
I plan on asking them next March which will be a year and 7 months before the wedding. I will have most things planned by then but I want to give them time to get to know each other and ability to save money for things. They will be buying their own dresses and possibly hair and makeup. They will be picking their own dresses, so however much they want to spend they can.