Bridesmaid Proposal

It’s up to you! All of my girls knew, but different people have different opinions

I don’t really understand the need for a warning unless you’re asking her in front of other people, which I wouldn’t recommend in the first place.

View Quoted Comment Well, I am taking all of them out to brunch and asking them as a group. I want to give them all an opportunity to meet each other, since some of the girls don’t know each other very well. So, I guess I’ll give her a heads up, I was thinking it might be weird not to, but also wasn’t sure if it would ruin the surprise

View Quoted Comment Making it a big public display puts a lot of unnecessary pressure on the girls to say yes, even if they want to say no.

View Quoted Comment For almost all of them I know they don’t want to say no, they know what the brunch is about and they consider it their official ask but already consider themselves my bridesmaids and have been referring to themselves as such since even before the engagement, the only one I’m unsure about is this one girl, so I will have a private conversation about it with her first.

View Quoted Comment Don't ever do this. Doing it in front of a group can pressure, or humiliate people. Ask each person privately. Include a discussion about date, location, will it be a one afternoon or evening thing or a multi day destination event. People can then look at their calendar ( and talk with family or SO) and their budget and time commitment s before answering. I have been present when the bride has been totally humiliated, because 1,2,. 4 out if 5 , or all 5 asked in a public way, said no. And what is the point of putting them all on the spot, so they feel they must say yes, and then have them drop out later, or not be able to afford to travel, or buy a dress, or take the wedding day off work? Please do them the courtesy of a private discussion, so they can make an informed decision.

View Quoted Comment They all know with the exception of one girl this is not putting them on the spot I already know they will say yes, and they are all excited for the official ask, but, because all the other girls knew in advance, some of them have said they wish we hadn’t discussed it prior to because they wanted to be surprised. This is why I wasn’t sure if I should talk to the last girl and inform her in advance prior to the brunch.

View Quoted Comment Thanks! I’m gonna talk to her first, I just wasn’t sure because I had mixed opinions from the ones I already talked to about being surprised.

Yes, for sure. Especially since you aren't as close with her.