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Savvy October 2018

Bridesmaid proposal gone wrong?

Jamise, on February 3, 2018 at 11:21 AM Posted in Planning 0 15

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I sent bridesmaids “proposal” cards to 4 friends. 2 that live in-state and two that live out of state. The two out of state responded yes and have been super excited but I haven’t heard anything back from the two in-state. I even text and said check your mailbox this week and they both responded “ok”. I sent the cards last Friday so it’s been over a week and I haven’t heard a peep from either one. I feel weird about asking because I think that would be an awkward conversation, but at the same time I’m baffled. How should I approach this? I never in a million years would have expected NO response and I feel if the out of state people have received their cards then surely in-state people have. One of them has even commented on the birthday post I did for my sister but hasn’t said a word to me.

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15 Comments

Latest activity by M.Hand, on February 3, 2018 at 4:59 PM

VIP September 2017
MrsMcK · on February 3, 2018 at 11:25 AM
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Even though they're in state, their mail could have been delayed for some reason. I wouldn't panic yet, give it a little while.
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Dedicated April 2019
Kelsey · on February 3, 2018 at 11:33 AM
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The post office sometimes sends mail on a vacation before it goes to its new home. Smh lol
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Champion December 2017
earias · on February 3, 2018 at 12:38 PM
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It is possible they got them and don't know how to tell you no. This is why we advise against sending proposals to your bridesmaids because it can put undue pressure on them to say yes when they're not sure and can make things awkward.
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VIP May 2018
Red Queen · on February 3, 2018 at 12:41 PM
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This. What is so terribly wrong with just having a conversation with people?
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Mim · on February 3, 2018 at 12:43 PM
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Why didn't you just ask them in person/on the phone/Skype?
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VIP July 2018
Catti Labelle · on February 3, 2018 at 12:51 PM
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Yep. This was my immediate thought.
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Savvy August 2018
Katrina · on February 3, 2018 at 12:57 PM
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It's completely up to you how you do things. It's YOUR wedding. No one else is paying for it and planning it. Do your thing!
It may not of gotten to them or they don't know how to say no.
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Devoted September 2018
MillerTime · on February 3, 2018 at 1:05 PM
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If I was you I'd call or text (depending if you feel awkward) and ask them if they received mail from you. You need to get that conversation over with.. whether it's a yes or no, you need to know.
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Super May 2018
Kristin · on February 3, 2018 at 2:29 PM
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This happened to me... quite a while had passed and everyone had responded except for one. I messaged her to make sure she got the gift and she replied that since it smelled so good she wanted to wait until her day off to open it because she thought it would be a fun treat. She has way more discipline than I do, I open mail right when I get it haha! Anyway she ended up saying yes and it's all good, but that waiting was agonizing for sure. I don't think there's anything wrong with a "hey I mailed you something, did you get it?" Text. It could be she picks up her mail at the post office or has to get packages from her apartment office or something and hasn't gotten around to it yet.
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Master July 2018
RZ_ToBe · on February 3, 2018 at 2:39 PM
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It may take a while to get to them. I sent a package to Texas from Oregon and it got to my friend within a week, but anything sent in-town took and extra few days for whatever reason. It could be that there's more in-state mail to sort through.
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Savvy October 2018
Jamise · on February 3, 2018 at 2:43 PM
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Well for friend one we had talked about wedding plans in general and since I had been in hers I thought she would find it cute to have a little card with a message about being friends since high school etc. I didn’t think it was elaborate I thought it was more heartfelt then anything. She asked me to be in her wedding by sending a bridesmaid book. The second one just text asking about my sisters birthday plans so Idk what’s going on there. I honestly just thought it was a fun thing that you could put away with all our other trinkets we’ve collected over the past twenty years. Guess it’s my first bridal no no.
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VIP January 2018
Bride2Be2018 · on February 3, 2018 at 2:46 PM
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We got a Christmas card at the end of January that my friends sent at the end of December. Shite happens with the mail, I wouldn’t stress about it. Nothing wrong with sending the thoughtful cards that you did. I’m sure when they get them they will reach out to you.
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Super November 2018
Susan · on February 3, 2018 at 2:50 PM
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This is definitely a reason to hold off the “bride tribe” proposals and Pinterest shenanigans until after a simple conversation (I know OP only sent a card, I’m just speaking generally).
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