Bridesmaid problem

Honestly I would say just let her remain as a bridesmaid unless you really just like her. Asking her to step down will definitely be a friendship ending move. You are not as close as you once were I feel that it could be a little bit rude to ask her to step down if she has not done anything to offend you or your FH. Besides the fact that you two are just not that close is there another reason you'd want for her to step down?

I definitely don't think you should get rid of her. People aren't disposable. It sounds like you knew you weren't very close when you asked her. Were you expecting this would bring you closer together?

Very much agree with PP's. It's your wedding so of course you CAN make the decision to tell her you don't want her as a bridesmaid anymore, but it will almost definitely ruin any relationship you currently have with her. So really you just have to decide which is more important: Not having her as a bridesmaid or having her as your friend? In this type of situation, you can very rarely have both

View Quoted Comment That’s the problem, I don’t want to let anyone down with any of this. It was really hard for me to even find bridesmaids as I don’t have many friends and my family is incredibly hard to work with. I want her as a bridesmaid but I’m afraid she only said yes because she was under pressure. I tend to overthink things, though, so I could be completely wrong on everything.

View Quoted Comment I understand that 100%, and no, we were never very close but I don’t have any close friends, and it was incredibly hard for me to choose who I wanted as my bridesmaids. I certainly wanted to be closer to my girls, especially after asking them, but it seems like most are apathetic toward everything, especially said bridesmaid as she never replies to anything I send her and we haven’t talked since I asked her even though I have sent texts, etc.

View Quoted Comment I see. Is she apathetic towards you or the wedding? If it's the wedding I think the reality is no one is as interested in the wedding as the couple. I don't think she would have agreed to be a bridesmaid if she felt apathetic towards you.
Maybe just focus on those friendships beyond wedding planning. Tell her you haven't had a chance to catch up with her life in awhile and can you go out for dinner or drinks?
I think sometimes it is easy to make these bridal party relationships all about the wedding and that's a lot for any friendship to withstand. So maybe just refocus and see if you can re-establish the friendship.

View Quoted Comment Thanks! That really helps. I guess I’m just nervous about everything and that is mostly my fault. I guess I expect too much, but I’ve never been a bridesmaid myself so I don’t know what to expect. Thanks again!

If you really do want to be closer to her, then you should be talking to her as a friend, not a bride. If the only time you contact her is to talk about wedding related stuff, then she probably isn't going to be receptive, as it's not her wedding. Nobody will be as excited for your wedding as you are, so that's something you need to accept right away. A lot of brides come here disappointed that nobody is excited about their wedding, and they just can't understand. But the truth is, that when it comes to weddings, the only people really excited are the bride and groom! Most everyone else has a life, jobs, kids, spouses, their own parents/siblings/family to deal with.

So, if you're trying to improve the friendship with this girl, then spend some time being her friend. Ask her about her life, what's going on with her, or just things not related to the wedding. If you're not concerned about keeping up the friendship, and you've changed your mind about her being in the wedding party, just be honest. Tell her you've decided to go in a different direction, and won't be having her as a bridesmaid.

View Quoted Comment Thank you! I’m trying to improve things, I’m just afraid of being overbearing or annoying! I’m not sure why I feel that way, but I want everyone to enjoy the wedding and the people they will be around. I guess I’m completely overthinking everything, but I’m just scared to bother anyone :/

View Quoted Comment I understand overthinking and know how it can be difficult to put yourself out there sometimes.

Nobody agrees to shell out big money on a dress for someone they don't care about. She obviously wants to support you. I don't think she will think spending time getting dinner and just talking about life with you is a bother. Good luck!

Why ask her if you weren't close to begin with sounds silly to me. sometimes its ok to not have bridesmaids if this is the outcome.

If you’ve never really been close, why ask her in the first place? It sounds like you knew what your relationship with her is, and you still asked and she accepted, so unless she does something horrible I would just suck it up and stick with her.

I'm in the same position and was told the same thing, to let it go unless she does something drastic or disrespectful. I was close to her but as I became engaged, she changed and became very negative. I don't expect others to be as excited about our wedding but I do believe if you are a true friend, then you would be happy for me as I would be for them. When we get together, I don't talk about the wedding or plans because we talked about all kinds of things before I became engaged and I don't want to make it just about me. If I had to do it again, I would have selected on my sisters and would not have included friends, it would have been a lot easier.

I'd let it go for now. Invite her out to dinner and catch up (not about the wedding or your relationship) you may find that you have a good friend after all. Good Luck