Bridesmaid possibly dropping out 3 months before! :(

I kind of get the feeling that she cant pay for the shower, (and possibly Bachelorette party), since she said she may be able to do so otherwise. If its a possibility, could you help her with her share? Assuming it isn't ridiculously expensive.

As far as waiting goes, maybe she has never been in a wedding before and thought her only expense would be the dress.

I hope everything works out!

Yikes!

@Truffle That the first thought I had, but when I told her I would want her in my party regardless she still hesitated. As for the Bachelorelle party, I couldn't care less if I have one. We had this talk last night around 10:30pm and she said she would get back to me asap. So I'm playing the waiting game to see if she still wants to be a party of our day. It's just a sucky feeling.

Thats tough I am sure it had everything to do with your MOH sending prices, and she probably just felt overwhelmed financially and emotionally. Give her a little bit to re-think it and "calm down". If she's still wishy washy after, i would try to sit her down and talk to her about things you two can do to keep her from feeling stressed or obligated. I am really sorry you are going through this, you shouldn't be worrying about this at all!!!

Unfortunately, people get selfish when it comes to your wedding and they forget that its just that..YOUR (and FH's) wedding. They need a wake-up call that it's not about them.

Ugh @FutureKlebba I agree! My MOH is having an issue with 2 other of my BM's saying now that they can't afford to pay for the bridal shower after everyone agreed on a place and a deposit was paid and a contract was signed. I'm not supposed to know but I knew my BFF/MOH would tell me when stuff like this went down. It's just too close for the wedding to deal with any of this.

I'm sorry about this. Sounds stressful. But I think you have covered all your bases and have talked to her about it. There might be more going on in her life that she's not telling you. Work, bills, etc. There might be more to it than just the shower money factor. I hope it works out for you and your FH. Just take the time to listen to her as well.

Good luck to you and i hope everything turns out good and soon is resolved. Similar thing happened to me but money was not the issue but something else. It only made me realize how shady she was and how she did not value our friendship. Once again good luck!

As someone who's dropped out of a wedding party due to costs, I can say that the best thing you can do is be her friend and make it clear that you still love and appreciate her even if she's a guest at your wedding instead of a bridesmaid.

Do you think she is embarrassed by the fact that she is having money problems? Are you paying for their hair and makeup for the day of? I am just trying to think of other expensive she may be worried about.

I think it shouldn't be assumed that all the bridesmaids have to pay of the shower. My friend who threw it volunteered. Same with the bach. party. I was ok with out having either but the people who did it volunteered. Maybe she can volunteer more time to help get ready for the party.

My best guess is that your MOH is being demanding and is planning a shower without budgets in mind (did she even ask them?) and it is not sitting well with the BMs. She may be planning a shower well beyond what they can afford and demanding money for it. The BMs are probably fed up and overwhelmed by the costs and just want to drop out. I have been in that position as a BM - the MOH was awful and would not consider anyone's budgets. It made me want to drop out as well. I suspect you have an MOH problem here.

HA! sounds like my situation... I just got a call from one of my bridesmaids last night. She told me that she can no longer be part of my wedding because she has too much going on in her life! She tells me this 2.5 months before my wedding! The funny part is that i gave her plenty of opportunities to back out but she decides to do it last minute! I wish she would have told me before i spent $100 on her bridesmaids gifts!

I know a couple months back my MOHs sent all my BM's a lost of places to choose from with pricing and they all picked. So they were all aware of the price beforehand. Some of these same BMs were talking about adding other expenses like candy bars on top of everything else. So they knew of all the expenses and agreed to them, but when a time line is set up for payment is when there is a problem.

Maybe she got in a fight with the other BM's about it and thats why she wants to back out? It seems like it's a lot more than money.