Bridesmaid plus one

I think it might be a bit of a special circumstance since they are coming from Germany and presumably this friend won’t know anyone else.


That said, it’s your wedding and up to you. Good luck!

I agree with the previous poster. It's not like your friend is bringing an adult guest that lives in the United States or locally in the town so for some people asking them to entertain themselves and they come from another country a little bit of a different situation. I can probably understand the rehearsal dinner as that is coming out of your pocket but in regards to the getting ready I think it would be more odd if it was a man or something such as that. The best you can do is talk to your friend calmly and nicely and just explain that hey on the day of I'd really like to have my clothes girlfriend to me would you be okay if your friend were to entertain herself for that morning. You can explain about the rehearsal dinner and maybe your friend will pick up her tab but I do kind of feel like if you are in a situation where you were in a completely different country would you want to be by yourself the whole time.

I feel it is up to you. You're being nice enough to allow her to bring a friend which you honestly didn't have to let her friend come. It isn't your fault her friend doesn't know anyone and you shouldn't be responsible for providing entertainment to her friend. Her friend is making the decision to come to a wedding where she knows no one so you shouldn't feel bad for leaving her alone. Our groomswoman choose not to bring a plus one for this exact reason. She didn't want to make someone sit by themselves all morning or have to worry about entertaining her date while she was doing wedding stuff. I would be honest with your bridesmaid that plus ones were not included in the invitation to the rehearsal. It isn't right to allow one person to bring their plus one and no one else. As for getting ready, I'm sure her friend can find something to do. Even if that is just hanging out in her hotel room. For my brother-in-law's wedding, I had to entertain myself. Our hotel room was used for the guys to get ready in so I went to a shopping mall.

I think it’s fine to say she can’t get ready with you, but I’ve never heard of plus ones (especially ones who are traveling) being excluded from the rehearsal dinner. I guess you can tell her she can’t come to that too but then I wouldn’t expect your BM to stay at rehearsal long.

View Quoted Comment I think for the rehearsal dinner we can be a bit more lenient but for the day of I don’t think so. It’s my one wedding day and I will already have so much going on I don’t want to add on the extra stress of having to entertain someone u just met. I want to be comfortable and relax before the crazy if the day and I won’t be as comfortable with someone I don’t even know. Also to clarify my friend is in Germany with her husband who is in the Air Force so they’re both American so it wouldn’t be like she’s in the country for the first time. I think it would be a bit rude of the friend to think the bride should have to go out her way while she’s getting ready for her wedding to accommodate her.

View Quoted Comment

Understandable. It is your wedding day and ultimately you should do what makes you happy. In regards to the person not being American I meant your friend's friend. She may be American but some people feel odd touring by themselves. I do not but I feel if the day before it will be stressful for you to accommodate her then do what you feel is best.

View Quoted Comment I think we will be okay with her attending the rehearsal dinner but the wedding party didn’t rsvp their plus ones on their own. We never actually didn’t invite them so it just worked out in our favor budget wise

If I were you, I would go ahead and put up the additional money for her to attend the rehearsal dinner. I know the rest of the wedding party is not bringing their plus ones, but I assume they are all local. This is a special circumstance. The only person she will know is her friend, and I don’t think it is kind to make her fend for herself (and by herself) for dinner in an area she doesn’t know. Plus, attending the rehearsal dinner will give her a chance to meet and get to know you and the rest of the wedding party so the wedding won’t be so awkward for her. Personally, I feel that is the kind thing to do. As far as getting ready the morning of your wedding - I do not feel you should be obligated to have a stranger there for such an important moment. I would explain to your friend that you would be happy to have her join you for rehearsal dinner so that you and the other guests can get to know her, but that you would like to keep the getting ready portion of your day strictly amongst close friends and family. Surely your friend would understand. And I am sure her plus one will understand also!

You’re very nice to let her come at all and she totally should not get ready with you. My MOH brought her girlfriend to our wedding and she didn’t even think to ask if she could get ready with us. It would have been so weird for her to be there. She can entertain herself for a few hours.

View Quoted Comment I would much rather her have someone to travel with coming all the way from Germany than to come by herself. It was already a hit or miss if she would be able to come because her husband is in the process of having his assignment changed to South Korea about 2 months after the wedding so they were in a financial pickle until her mother offered to pay for her flight. So I’m glad she’s still able to come. But I will definitely let her know she is not welcome to get ready with us

View Quoted Comment 100% agree with this

I think this is definitely a "cross the bridge when you get to it" situation. She has not yet even asked if she can get ready with you. I know that at my wedding we will have a lot of people who haven't seen each other in years. College friends etc. So I may send a very general group message that says "hey everyone, I know the wedding day will be a very exciting day and there will be a lot of catching up to do with friends but I really want to reserve the time getting ready to spend time with you all so I am going to limit the suite to just the bridal party. I am so excited to have you all stand beside me!" I think maybe if you tell her without her ever asking then it may come across as a "fine bring her to the rehearsal dinner but you better not bring her in the room on the wedding day!" (bridezilla-esque). Personally, I'd start to feel like you didn't even want my friend there if that was approached with me even if I'd never brought it up myself. If you do it to the whole group, it seems like a general announcement for everyone.

View Quoted Comment Yeah I think I would only bring it up regarding the wedding day if she mentions it so I don’t come off crazy controlling

I think it's totally up to you and your prerogative. You could make an exception for the rehearsal dinner and if she was the only extra person because she traveled nobody else would really care. For the day of I totally get you. My makeup artist is friends with one of my guests and she asked if the guest could come with her to help set up etc while we got ready the day of. I let her and she just hung out with us, but in retrospect she didn't really need to be there. They went for a quick bite when makeup was done, and the guest changed her outfit then my makeup artist dropped her back off for the ceremony. I wasn't really put off by it, but it also wasn't necessary for her to be there cuz she wasn't really helping beyond setting up. I would totally say you can have just you and your girls for the day of and cross that bridge when you get to it!