Bridesmaid plus one

I would just tell her that you need to know by x date for the caterer. You can be firm but nice. I’m sure she will understand once you provide the context of needing final headcount for vendors.

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When I reached out to her initially I let her know that I needed it for the venue final headcount/caterer. She still said she doesn't know I can give her a firm date but it would be a few days from now. She doesn't know anyone at the wedding apart from bridal party she just recently met, so I understand her wanting to find a plus one - but all the friends she's asked to come with her can't make it

Since the deadline has passed, she needs to tell you now since you only have a week buffer to collect any replies from those who didn’t send in responses before sending the final count to the caterer. If she (and they) doesn’t give you an answer on the spot when you call for any reason, count bridesmaid as a single and the others as a no. She doesn’t get to waffle over the answer for an additional week.


Say something blunt but polite: “The reply deadline is past. I need to know right now before I hang up if your plus one is attending so we can get an accurate headcount for the caterer.” Use the same wording for those who are actual invites, not plus ones.

View Quoted Comment This is extra hard when you know she is waiting on others before making an answer. You could give her the firm date a few days from now and tell her that if she doesn’t have someone by then, you won’t be able to accommodate the additional guest after that.


One thing I will say though is , since she’s presumably one of your nearest and dearest and in the situation of not knowing anyone else, it might be worth chatting to your venue to see if there’s any possibility for a last minute *add* — In my case, my venue asked for final numbers 14 days before the event. At this point this was locked in as my guaranteed guest count— the people I’d be paying for no matter what— so I couldn’t “subtract” anyone but I *could* add— I was able to add additional guests on to that number up until just 3 days before the event. This ended up being a bit of a saving grace for us who was having a health issue so we weren’t sure if she (or her guest) would make it. I was able to leave them off the “final guest count” list but once her doctor cleared her to travel at a her check the week before the wedding, I was able to add them on to our tally….could be worth looking into if you really want her to get to have someone there with her. If not, as suggested, I’d hardline the numbers due date.

When is your wedding? It says July. I'm assuming that is incorrect. Yep just go with the final date the caterer provides. I'm thinking not many people would want to go to a wedding right now unless they knew and were close to the couple.

I’d just tell her to you had to turn in your headcount, since it was already late, so unfortunately she will be flying solo that night!