Bridesmaid not responsive

Has she always been like that? If so, then I wouldn't take offense to it. I personally can be like that at times as well, sometimes I look at the message and simply just forget to respond. However, when it comes to things that are important, I pay attention wayyyy more. BUT, if she isn't great at communicating, is this someone you want to be involved in such an important day? if she is important to you then I would simply have a talk with her and tell her that if she wants to be a part of it then you need a clear line of communication because you obviously will have deadlines.

One of my pet peeves is being unreliable and unresponsive, so the fact that she often takes days to respond is a red flag for me. I personally wouldn't want to deal with that during wedding planning.

That being said, if you both are great friends and this is her only flaw, then you could still ask her. Especially if you feel that your wedding day wouldn't be the same without her in your bridal party. If she continues to be terrible at responding later, then express that concern with her.

My best girlfriend is like this. It sometimes takes her 2-3 days to respond. I don’t take it personally, it’s just the way she is 🤷🏼‍♀️ If this is one of your best friends and you see her standing next to you on one of the most important days of your life, then I don’t see any reason you shouldn’t have her in your bridal party just because it takes longer than 24 hours to respond to a text. I mean, there is literally nothing a bridesmaid or MOH will need to be “on call” or available within 24 hours for. The only thing they will need to do is go with you to pick out a bridesmaid dress (if you plan on doing a shopping trip with him), and show up on the day of the wedding wearing that dress.

If you're not happy with her response time now you won't be happy with it if you ask her to be a bridesmaid.

View Quoted Comment I agree with this. I, personally, would not risk it.

IMO you take friends as they are. Despite the response time, is she a good friend? Does she come through when it counts? I have a friend/bridesmaid who also takes forever to respond to texts...she will be MIA for weeks at at time and then call out of the blue apologizing. But I know I can count on her to always show up to the actual events, or be there if I really need her.

It also depends on how much you will require of your bridesmaids. Are you going to want a group that you can constantly text ideas/wedding chit-chat and expect lively discussion on those topics? Do you plan to have a bunch of pre-wedding events that require a lot of engagement? Then yeah, it might be hard for her. If you just want your girls to buy dresses and stand by your side at the wedding, maybe attend a bachelorette, then it shouldn't be an issue.

I’ve dealt with the same thing. My MOH isn’t the best in responding to text msg’s but when I need her, I let her know to be available 2-3 weeks in advance for what ever is coming up and even if we don’t speak often during that time span, she’s still there. So if it’s the case that she’s not just the best at response time, but you can rely on her to still show up, be present and alert then it shouldn’t be a problem. Because you know how to deal with her, if you have an appt or something that requires her attendance, let her know way in advance, give her all the details and let her show.

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I agree with this. I am a big proponent of accepting my loved ones for who they are (just as I hope they would do for me).

If you already know this is how she communicates, you can't expect this to change just for your wedding (this is a very common mistake that brides make, assuming their wedding will fix problems and magically change people into TV-perfect bridesmaids).

Only you can decide if you care about her enough to overlook this personality trait. But I would be careful not to take it personally or relate it in any way to your wedding if she has long demonstrated this behavior.

My best friend totally does that so it's something she's always done but i couldn't imagine her not in my wedding. she got better about being responsive

I think you are impatient. Many take a week to respond to a non-emergency text. I have received 46 texts since this time yesterday, have answered 6, deleted 20. Rec'd 6 non-business emails, dealt with 2. Deleting advertising and news bulletins is fast. The rest take time I may not have for days, especially long letters from/to people a long distance away. This is usual, not blowing anyone off. Have you tried the telephone for a more immediate response? That is the usual. Or just wait as you are talking a date 9-10 months from now. Keep in mind she may need to check with several people to know her calendar is free and it is within her budget. 🙂 It is a long process, not bing, bing, bing.

There's always people like this. I wouldn't take it personally, some people are really slow at responding to texts, and wait an eternity to do so, it doesn't mean she isn't keen to be a bridesmaid. But keep this is mind, if she does become a bridesmaid, you'll probably have to call her if there's a sudden change in plan or something like that

If you already know she’s slow with responding to texts, then it shouldn’t be a surprise. So maybe you should actually call her instead of texting. I mean, this is someone special who you want in your wedding, yet you only shot her a text.

Some people are just like this. I would call her for anything important or urgent.

It sounds like a personality quirk you are very familiar with, otherwise she wouldn't be a friend you were considering asking. Does she pull through when you need her? If yes, then move forward with asking her and check up with her a few days later with a phone call, not a text. However you don't really need to decide on anyone until 6 months before the wedding and they don't have to do much except buy a dress and show up.

I totally agree!! If she doesn’t response now, how do you think that she will do after? Picking your bridesmaids is knowing that they are responsable and that they will be there for you 100%