Bridesmaid not participating

I would try to reach out to her personally. Maybe she has something going on in her personal life? I’m someone who feels the only requirement of the bridal party is to buy a dress and show up. I’d be more annoyed my other bridal party members were pressuring me to kick someone out. While I can understand their frustration from feeling like they’re putting in a lot of work and this one person isn’t, it’s your wedding and you get to decide who is in your crew, not them. If they want to throw these parties for you that’s wonderful but not everyone has to participate. Again, I would simply reach out to see what’s up and follow up on the dress situation but that’s all.

Yea I’ll try to message her personally

I do not believe in replacing a BM. It says hey you are not my first pick but I need someone to stand in for pictures. Also watch kicking her out for not helping plan a party. Technically BM don’t have to do that. I would talk to her about the dress. If they are buying a specific dress I would tell her the deadline the shop says she needs it by.

View Quoted Comment I agree, I didn’t pick her to fill a spot I picked her because she’s important to me.

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This says it all. I'd chat with her to see what's up and then just mention to the others that she is as much a part of the group as they are, and they have to play nicely. We're all adults, after all, and there will be people who are more or less involved in terms of planning/activities/money in any bridal party.

Call her and get a sense of what's going on. Ask her if she is able to be fully involved and let her know that her presence is important to you. I think you need to be sensitive to your other bridesmaids as well.. of course it is up to you about what action you take but at the same time, it's not an enjoyable experience to be doing all the leg work while someone else does nothing without good reason.

The most important thing is that she will be there for you on your wedding day. Her only two obligations as a bridesmaid are to buy the dress and to show up at the wedding. She is not obligated to attend the parties. If she is unable to make these events, that is totally fine. Just remember my first sentence. Your bridesmaids have absolutely no business telling you who they want in YOUR bridal party. Since this is your cousin, have you tried talking to her mother or other family members to get her going?

She’s older, 27, and I don’t really talk to her mom. But I’m going to talk to her.

You will figure it out. I have personally seen people delay delay delay and then they feel pushed in a corner because time is getting closer, and then they drop out. So do not be surprised if that happens. But if she is have some issues then just reassure her that if she just wants to get the dress and show up the day of then that's fine to and your other bridesmaids will have to work around that.