Bridesmaid Just Told Me She Will Be Changing Her Dress at Rec

She wants to be comfortable at the reception. I don’t see the big deal.

As long as she can fit into the dress for the ceremony & photos, I wouldn’t worry if she changes at the reception.

I'd let it go. So long as she's wearing it for the ceremony and photos, I wouldn't have an issue with it.

First off, hello date twin!!!
Second, I told my bridal and grooms parties that if they want to change during reception it's ok to. I mainly wanted them in their outfits during ceremony and for photos. But I do understand how you can be a bit peeved about it because it does make it seem like she's having an outfit change and it makes it a bit extra.
But in this case it sounds like the dress would be too uncomfortable on her for the duration

Can she maybe wear it until the bridal party intros are over? Are you having a head table? Are they doing anything special at the reception that you'll want to have photographed?

View Quoted Comment Hopefully she will wear it until bridal party intros are over. We are having a head table, but the only special thing I have planned with my BM is a special dance.

View Quoted Comment Hmm, that's tricky because she said she's uncomfortable dancing without sleeves. I feel like this is something she should have shared with you when ordering the dresses so you could work it out together. Personally, I'm not a fan of the second look trend at all for anyone although I get why people do it. I just dont understand why people dont buy comfortable formal attire to begin with. Also, this is a formal event. It's one thing if it's a cake and punch day reception at a park, but it's not like formal attire is supposed to feel like pajamas either. Also, it's only 5 hours of your life. Plus, your guests don't get the luxury of changing. Sorry, I digress. Anyway, you are the bride and she needs to respect your wishes at least partly. Maybe you can see if she can keep it on for intros and a couple pictures of the head table. I dunno what to say about the dance though. I wouldnt make her do the dance in the dress but I also dont love the idea of her not matching the other BMs for it, either. Maybe you can request that they all change into a certain color dress to maintain continuity (they should have black dresses already) or she sits out? That's a toughie...

Maybe she could buy some kind of light cover for her arms? Like a shrug or shall? It wouldn't fix the too tight problem but it would cover her arms.

I was in a wedding where one of the bridesmaids changed for the dancing portion. I don't think anyone noticed or cared. You can tell her you'd prefer her not to, but you can't force her to stay in her dress.

My bridesmaid had to change too. She ordered her dress to the size she was but ended up gaining a bit of weight. Once the dress came in, she never tried the dress on prior to traveling to FL to my wedding. Once she got here, she tried it on for me to see in person how pretty they are and it didn't fit! Her armpits were spilling over and (my very very very short friend) didn't think to have it hemmed to the length she needed so it was very tight and very long. Oh course I was really annoyed because she didn't think to make sure it was all good prior to the wedding week when it was too late. A friend of my moms was able to quickly hem it.

She had planned to change, but kept the dress on all night long and ended up with terrible bruises and marks on her armpits from the tightness.

I have seen bridesmaids change at the reception. Those dresses are not all comfortable, and I've been in a winter wedding where I wore a flannel over my BM Dress as soon as the ceremony ended because it was too cold. No one pays attention to the bridesmaids once the ceremony is over so if she can suffer for those few minutes in the dress, she should be able to change afterwards. I totally understand your annoyance, but it isn't something to worry about.

I don't think I would make this the hill to die on. I certainly would be one who would just alter a dress to fit correctly, but I also know what it feels like to be self-conscious of my body as I'm heavier. Can you work with her on what she will change into? Hopefully she can get something that still looks nice but is more comfortable for her.

I’ve seen a bridesmaid change outfits for dancing before and it was no big deal. The formalities were over. The ceremony and pictures are really the only time I needed my girls to be ‘props’— the rest of the time I just needed happy, comfortable friends

This is a little tricky because yes, she should definitely be able to feel comfortable and if that means changing, she should be able to do that. But on the other hand, I would probably be a little annoyed about it too because I've spent so much time making sure everything looks and is planned perfectly for my big day. Let's be honest, there are plenty of people out there who want everything perfect, and I just happen to be that type of person, haha so I feel where you're coming from.

But as other people have suggested, in the end it would probably be better for your sanity to let it happen how it will happen. In my friend's wedding, she chose a dress that wasn't entirely flattering for every body type, so I had to get a ton of alterations done and it ended up being super tight and uncomfortable, but I didn't complain or change - I just really didn't want to "upset" the bride when it was my fault I didn't get the alterations fitted right. But her wedding went by so fast since I was in the bridal party that I wouldn't have even had time to think about changing, so I ended up not regretting it at all, lol. But that's just my experience, so maybe she will end up not changing after all?

Have you suggested that she maybe try to find a second dress that is close to the color of your bridesmaid dresses? That way she is distinguishable still, if that's what you are kind of concerned about.

As long as she doesn't change until after the ceremony and pictures, then everything should be fine. I told my wedding party they are more than welcome to change if they are uncomfortable. I don't want anyone being uncomfortable on my account.

I don't think it'll be as big of an issue as you think. Most people won't care if she changed!

I can understand your frustration it would make me mad too especially with the wedding one week away! My MOH was a guest at a wedding recently where one of the bridesmaids changed their dress as soon as the grand entrance was finished, my sister found this very odd. I guess I can understand the bridesmaid wanting to do this cuz of the fit, but I feel as if she maybe doesn’t like the dress making these excuses for why she will change.
One of my younger sisters who will be a bridesmaid for my wedding does the same about ordering smaller sizes cuz she wants to lose weight before the wedding 🤦🏻‍♀️ But she never does. She just got her dress in and when I asked about the fit she says “ I can put it on, but I can’t sit in it. Lol. It’s fine cuz I will be able to in 3 months!”