Bridesmaid Issues

If she is on the lease, it is her responsibility to pay for it, full stop, no exceptions.

If it’s honestly a mistake and this has never happened before, I would definitely try and work it out. Sometimes you can use your deposit as the last months rent, so I would check with your landlord about that. Otherwise you could just keep her portion of the deposit on your current place as pay back for this months rent. If you can swing it, waiting a month to get that money back is reasonable to me. I don’t think your mother or MOH really should have any input on your finances, but that’s a personal opinion and is not necessarily yours.

Think about it this way, what if you werent getting married and didnt have wedding money? I think she made a mistake and she should own up to it and fix it herself. Or else this would cause more problems down the road that will put a damper on your friendship. People have to grow up and be adults sometimes. And that includes fixing mistakes.

I would tell her that her finances aren't your problem, just like your finances aren't your MOH or mother's business. Tell her you can't afford to cover her rent and be done with it. She will figure it out.

I worked in the leasing industry for years and this type of thing happens more often than you can imagine. If it's a joint lease, they don't really car who pays but someone needs to. You don't want to sink your credit score over this. Fair housing laws (in Texas at least) require that the deposit reconciliation be postmarked within 30 days after your lease expiration. I'd tell her you'll pay the rent right now (doesn't look like you have a choice unless you want to be taken to collections) but you will not be giving her the deposit. I'd take whatever portion of the deposit that you put down plus her half of the rent that you had to pay. It's a sticky situation but it's also not your problem that she can't manage her finances. I'd try to calmly have this conversation and just ask her why she thinks you are responsible for paying her bills... especially WHILE you're paying for a wedding. We ALL know this is a stressful time. Then I'd make the bridesmaid decision based on her reaction. Money brings out people's true colors. Sorry she's doing this to you!

Update: we are on a joint lease so the bill has to be paid or my landlord can take us to court. I offered to pay for her half this month and I asked if she can pay me back in the next two months. She said she wouldn't be able to because of her "new apartment finances." I told her that it is her responsibility to pay and her response again was "I don't know what you want me to do, take it out of your wedding savings or have your FH help you out." She didn't pay for the security deposit in the first place so she wouldn't be getting that. I understand mistakes happen but she hasn't apologized and she isn't attempting to fix them.

View Quoted Comment Do not offer to pay it at all. You did your part. Tell your landlord your situation just so they have a heads up. Unfortunately, you should tell her that you wont be paying for it so you wont run into the problem of her not paying you back in the future, which seems like is already going to happen. Seriously, stand your ground. Have a talk with you, the landlord and your friend.

While it is not your responsibility, it will fall on you as well. You may need to pay it and let her know if you don't get paid back you might need to take her to small claims court. No one wants to end a friendship like this but it seems like she is not exactly concerned about that either. I do wish you an amicable resolution.

I think you need to separate the roommate situation from the wedding - they have nothing to do with each other. Tell her that you will not pay her portion of the rent but absolutely do not kick her out of your wedding. I would talk to you landlord about this though because unless they allow you to pay separately, you may be on the hook regardless.

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This doesn't seem like a mistake, she saw that you would be put between a rock and a hard place and would have to shell it out. Its not your responsibility BUT there really is nothing you can do besides take her to small claims court. This is really sticky. Are you moving into her new apartment with her (I'm assuming no but doesn't hurt to ask).

Tell her sorry, it's your WEDDING savings, not the bail her out of rent savings. You'll cover the half, but she HAS to pay you back within 2 months. Have her sign something to that affect.

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Was this at the end of the lease period, or did you break the lease? If the latter, you need to be responsible for paying a bit of 'her' share.

View Quoted Comment It was the end of the lease period

Since the lease is joint, and you don't want it to affect your credit - and you & your FH future I would pay it, but I would tell her that she has to pay you back.

If she doesn't make any payments then I would limit my space with her (sorry, but she is responsible for herself, you are not responsible for her), and I would disinvite her to be in the wedding party (why have someone stand next to you, that doesn't treat you properly). You can still invite her as a guest, if you wanted to.

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Hmmm, then I'll refer to my previous comment. Tell her sorry, it's your WEDDING savings, not the bail her out of rent savings. You'll cover the half, but she HAS to pay you back within 2 months. Have her sign something to that affect. Ask her why she thinks it's your problem to begin with?

I think her approach to all of this is awful. It's obviously not her first time renting, she should have been saving for a security deposit as soon as she knew she'd be moving out.

It's one thing to be in a tough place, but its a completely different thing to just make it your fault and expect you to pay for it. my FH overlapped his lease when we first moved in together. And guess what, he paid up until the month he was supposed to move out (roommate extended the lease an additional month due to his living situation but i digress LOL).

She can ask you for help, but expecting you to pull it from wedding savings is rude and ignorant. Like if a roommate said that to me i'd respond "well why don't you take it out of your 401k" same thing right. Also, some places let you put rent on a credit card... or she can take a cash advance on a credit card....she has options to get herself out of her mess.

I agree with others, do not let the wedding be a factor in this at all. But if she continues to treat you crappy in the next few months i would reconsider the friendship.

Wow the nerve of your friend /roommate um sorry that you are going through this and it sucks You should first talk to your landlord about the situation and let him know that he has your share of the last months rent and that she is refusing to pay. if he says he will go after you both then you have no choice but to pay.

As far as the friendship she is taken advantage of you. There is no way that your wedding budget or fiance should be involved as you two have a business deal involving a living arrangement that she is now backing out from paying.

If you cant trust her to pay you back money why would you trust her to be in your wedding. She's selfish and if her new living situation is taken all of her finances how can you expect her to buy a dress etc.

No I would cut ties with her. yes $$ shows people's true colors and it shouldn't be the reason for broken friendships but she is taken advantage of you and real friends wouldn't do that. A real friend would ask for help and then start a payment plan to get the $$ back to you asap.