Bridesmaid issues

She isn't responsible for paying for or attending your bachelorette party or bridal. She is however responsible if she wants to have her hair and makeup professionally done as long as your aren't requiring if. She is also responsible for having the dress altered. I would talk to her about the alterations. I wouldn't say anything about the shower or bachelorette party as those are option. I would suggest that she do her own hair and makeup and use the money she was going to spend on that to pay for alternations.

View Quoted Comment I agree . Honestly, a lot of my bridesmaids don’t have a lot of money like that . I never expected them to throw me a bridal shower or a bachelorette because that’s not why I chose them . If they did ask I wouldn’t make it a big deal and tell them to just do whatever . Other than that , our wedding day is what counts and what I’m counting on them being present for . To answer your question, since you were upfront with the things you wanted and she agreed, I think you should talk to her first. If she really means a lot to you and you want her in the wedding , you can just forget everything else she promised to do and just have her focus on getting her makeup/hair done and alterations

Sometimes our friends want to do so much and think they can juggle it. I say have a talk with her and ask her if she can handle it. Tell her you understand her struggle and will love her even if she has to take a step back and just support you otherwise.

That's definitely a tough one. I feel you can get creative with hair and make up costs. Maybe she can go to a beauty counter at the mall. They usually give free makeovers or charge a cheaper fee than a freelance make up artist. She can do her own hair or maybe some of the other bridesmaids can help with that. If she really want to be apart of your special day, she will try to think outside of the box. I recommended a payment plan with some of my bridal party, versus paying everything all at once. I gave one of my girls an option to CashApp me every pay period to help alleviant the financial load (even if it's $5 every pay period). There maybe someone around her area that does inexpensive alterations. She can ask around for a retired seamstress (who does alterations for a hobby or side job), go to some cleaners who offer alterations. She can make it work. If not, maybe she can be an usher or a hostess. I hope everything works out!

The only thing she needs to buy is the dress, which should have been chosen with her budget and comfort in mind. That budget should have included estimated alterations costs. Are you requiring professional hair and/or make up? If so, it's on you to pay for it. If not, she can choose whether or not to get it done, and choose where to get it done. She's not required to pay for or help host a shower or bachelorette party for you, so don't worry about those. (Neither is your MOH, for that matter.) As far as alterations go, does the dress actually need them? It doesn't have to fit perfectly; it's not a wedding dress. It just needs to fit like a normal dress would. Not everybody chooses to get alterations done on a bridesmaid dress.

As someone who has shelled out $5,000 per bridal party for five different weddings while making $12,000 a year in school, I feel her pain. (Yes! You read that right! I paid 6months worth of my annual income for every bridal party I've been in!) If you want her in your wedding, accept the best that she can do. She might have to buy her bridesmaid dress second hand. She might do her own nails, hair, and makeup to cut costs. You need to decide if you want her in your wedding because she's a close friend, or if you want a certain "look" and "experience" that requires more money than she has, leaving her out of it.

If she wants her dress to not fit her correctly thats on her honestly. Something I have learned from posts is that bridesmaids can do what they want in a sense. They are mainly responsible for buying their stuff to stand up in the wedding thats it. They don't have to throw a bach party or shower. But if you are lucky, they will and you will have to be grateful for is there and who is helping.

If you do choose to talk to her about the bridal shower and bachelorette party, have that come from a place on missing out on the special memories with a friend, not a place of financial obligation. Either of these events can be as laid back or extravagant and you and your wedding party feel is appropriate, and it is always a good idea to have these budgetary discussions before any money is spent If you want more out of the parties than your bridesmaids have to spend, then be prepared to chip in yourself!

Depending on the style of the dress and alterations needed, this is definitely a priority. Ask her about it in a concerned/friendly way - is this a simple hem or should she have just ordered a different size altogether? I've had bridesmaid dress alterations range from $8 - $60. Also consider if she is a student, does her college have a design college/major? You'll find plenty of other students who are very handy with a sewing machine and could hem a dress in no time flat. For hair and makeup, are the rest of the girls + you getting your makeup done day-of by the same company? If she works with the same company too maybe there is a group discount? I've also made appointments with Ulta to get makeup done at a reasonable price point (for engagement photos, rehearsal dinner, etc.) and that could be a great option for her!

Before you ditch her from the wedding, consider how it will affect your friendship, and if that is something you are willing to risk? If you're worried she may not be reliable to show up on the wedding day because she is no longer attending the bachelorette and shower after she said she would, that is a valid concern and you can definitely talk to her about it. If the issue is solely financial, focus on solutions for alterations and HMU.