Bridesmaid issues frustration (vent!)

Is it really important to you to have her in the wedding? I don’t think that it’s fair of her to tell you to pay for the dress, and I don’t think it’s fair to your other bridesmaids if you only pay for hers. If she can’t afford to be in the wedding then she should not be in it.

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Nope, I am more pissed than anything she can go away somewhere. haha. sorry. I have just had it. There were two bridesmaids I have having trouble with sorry I should've been more clear the first was the one insinuating that I should pay and the second was the one that hasn't bothered responding this time around. I don't even know about the one guilting me anymore..... but if she pays for it I will let it slide I guess. I am not paying for anyone's dress that's for sure, that is why I made sure it was a very affordable dress.

View Quoted Comment Oh I’m sorry!! I didn’t realize you were asking for advice regarding the second one, that was my bad because I skimmed over that sentence haha. I honestly think that she may have missed your message somehow and two days is too small amount of time to kick her for something like that. But honestly I am outside of the situation and I don’t know about any other things she has been doing to annoy you! One of my bridesmaids didn’t talk to me for 3 months after I asked her to be in the party so I just had an honest convo with her and we both decided it’d be better if she came as a guest instead. I would honestly send another message or call and ask her if she is still interested or if she is too busy.

My only question would be, if you guys don’t talk for months at a time, are you guys good enough friends for her to be the wedding party? I understand that friends don’t have to talk on a regular basis, but I would imagine that the people that are up there with you are your ride or die and the relationship is more solid than communicating every 2-3 months.

Wow Megan,


That's a lot of aggravation for you, good luck with that! $40 is nothing, I'm paying for my bridesmaids dresses and shoes, and I still had complaints because one of them didn't like the color, they're wearing lilac and I'm wearing lavender in the same style as my second dress, it's from jjshouse style 105912 if you care to Google it.!

I wouldn't put up with the one who doesn't want to pay, 40 is very reasonable for a dress. The other one I would give her till tomorrow at least to respond. I sometimes don't look at messages until the end of the weekend or Monday. So I would cut her a bit a slack on that for another day.

If it’s bothering you, then remove her from your bridal party. There’s no need in dealing with stress from a bridal party members. The show will still go on without them.

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Thanks, I think I will call her later and leave a message if she doesn't answer. I am sorry you've been through it but glad you have so you can give me some advice I just was beside myself. hahah hopefully it will work itself out soon.

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Wow. that's really ungrateful that you are paying for it and they still complained -,- I love delicate colors too pshhh. found the lilac dress not sure if it was the right one but it is gorgeous.... pshhh. I would so not complain about wearing that much less if it is free.

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Thanks!!! I will do that I am thinking about cutting the one out that isn't happy about paying for it but I don't even know.

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No doubt, thank you !

I would talk to her first but this would also be a friendship ending move. Really the second bridesmaid does not have to look at venues with you. If one is complaining about her dress ($40 is a steal...I have never paid that little) she will complain about other expenses and things. I would ask her honestly is she able to afford and handle being a bridesmaid and if she says no then let her come to the conclusion to not be in the bridal party. As for the other I would not worry about her not attending the venue as really that is up to your fh and yourself.

If you're considering kicking people out of your bridal party over $40 or lack of text response..maybe they shouldn't be in it to begin with.


I'm really bad at responding to text messages if I read them real quick while I'm in the middle of something. It doesn't mean I don't care..i just forget sometimes. But yeah..if those two things are enough for you to want to cut them..are they really good enough friends to stand up with you on your wedding day?

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I already have my venue, no one else really gets a say I was telling her when the wedding date was. haven't heard from her since. That is a good way to ask her if she can afford to be a bridesmaid, I really didn't know how to approach that. I really could care less at this point if either of them attend if they are going to ignore me or complain about 40 dollars. Obviously If i am not that important to either one of them why would they be that important to me? The one that is ignoring me, I planned her a bachelorette party that she wanted even though there was no wedding party.... so its really crappy that she's been ignoring me. I am going to give her a call though before I call it quits on her...

View Quoted Comment I think that’s a good plan! Thank you for saying that, it was causing me so much stress in the moment and making planning not fun anymore, so I just reached out and we had a good mature convo about realistic bridal party expectations. If you decide you need to have that convo, I would be more than happy to help and show you what I said to mind! Just send me a message if you need anything!

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That's a good point and I have been wondering it myself. I may have made a mistake. I am not super close to them now but have been in the past. I totally get people forgetting or just some people are slow to respond, but she (the one who ignores me) generally responds pretty quickly, so it's out of the norm for her. I do have one other person that usually takes a while to get ahold of but I know that about her and can rely on her to get back with me, eventually lol

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You rock! I would actually love that. If you could even give me talking points that would help. This website has saved my sanity so many times it's not even funny! I really don't know what I would do without my fellow online brides It has gotten me bummed out a little but I am trying not to let it get to me. I should have listened to my mom and left those people out of it... but I am stubborn lol

View Quoted Comment Right, and it's not a one time wear, I think it's a nice dress, and it cost $165, why would you complain about that, plus I'm buying the shoes, and paying for the hair and a expensive makeup artist, I would really like to drop her, but..... I don't want trouble, GOOD LUCK with everything girl!!!!

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Ahhhh ok I misunderstood lol. Yeah benefit of the doubt she saw the message and just scheduled it but I would call her and double check and ask is everything ok. I feel you that it does suck to do something for someone to be like that after you have done for them. I am sorry they are being frustrating. I say for the first bridesmaid try to have her come to the realization so later there is no you kicked her out ya know? If the second one does not respond then just ask her does she still want to be a bridesmaid. I say for both let them realize for themselves if they are committed or not.

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Thank you!!! Yeah I understand the not wanting the trouble bit that's where I am stuck at right now. Shoot, I'm jealous I would love someone to buy me a beautiful dress lol! I would wear it out all the time after that just because I could, but that's just me haha