Bridesmaid Issues...advice?

You already asked her, so that ship has sailed. You can't un-ask someone to be in your wedding party unless you want to have zero relationship with them. If you don't care, then have at it.

If you keep her though, she gets to bring her boyfriend.

Everyone grow up and act like real adults?

Agree with @lindsey. i attended a wedding where my ex was there. we sat at different tables. nobody died.

The groomsman needs to suck it up for one night. ETA if you remove her from the bridal party AND uninvite her, that will probably be the end of your friendship.

Yeah thats what I worry about, but I don't really have a relationship with her now and the groomsman is my brother without blood so my loyalty falls to him, but I tried to stay her friend before all the information on their breakout came out. I am still making the effort I just don't hear back from her very often. Our wedding doesn't have open plus ones we have an amount to stick too and if I do keep her I don't need a fight breaking out because the man she cheated and left him for is being rude. They have not come out as bf/gf currently they are "just friends" so I don't feel like I have to invite him.

I wish their relationship ended on better terms, but she spread some lies to make herself look like the victim and my groomsman doesn't want anything to do with her, but is willing to for my sake on our wedding day.

You asked her to be a bridesmaid so that ship has sailed. As far as the bridesmaid's "friend", if they are dating then they are a social unit. You cannot invite one without the other. To sum it up, your bridesmaid is your bridesmaid and if she is dating someone that person should get an invite.

As long as everyone act like adults it should not really be an issue

Divorced parents can put aside their issues for their children's wedding day, I'm sure these two can be civil for one day and not cause any issues.

It's you're wedding, but I wouldn't kick her out,. What happened between them should stay between them. That Was there relationship.

Lots of 'issues' going on in the forum today!

It sounds like your bridesmaid ran off with her ex the groomsman's friend? Am I following this right?

If she has a new boyfriend, then yes he gets to be there. Why can't adults be adults? I went to a wedding and my ex was there. He sat with his new girlfriend, I sat with friends. No one died; there was no drama.

Why on earth did you ever ask her to be your bridesmaid when you're ready to drop her so quick?

And why is she your bridesmaid when you think you won't see her in a year? That's horrible. I see my Maid of Honor once or twice a month, I'm moving to a different country a few weeks after our wedding and I will likely not see her in person for anywhere from six months to a year. Communicating online consistently with her will be hard because it will be tough for me to balance communicating with my family first but I'm not raising hell.

Your wedding is in three months. If she is anything like my BMs, she has already committed to a shower, bachelorette party, time off for the wedding, A DRESS, etc, etc. Cutting her off now will effectively ruin the relationship forever and if you have mutual friends, you will be the bad guy.

Sarah, TO an extent yes thats exactly what happened. They have not come out as in a relationship to the outside world, but are together constantly.

When I asked her to be my bridesmaid she was still dating my groomsman and we were very close. Now I get a text or two once every couple months. This isn't a rush decision I am trying to make, I don't want to be the bad guy and I don't want our relationship to die, but I know that things that only one person is putting effort into is never going to blossom. I understand living in another city, but if any of my friends wants to make plans I am always the one to commute the two hours in their direction because they are worth it.

We were very close now I don't feel like when she answers questions about herself she is telling the truth nor does she know anything that's currently going on in my life. We have mutual acquaintances, but i have not heard from or seen any of them in months.

All my other bridesmaids are girls who I know will be around to raise our kids together and she used to be that way, but try as I may I just don't see her putting the effort into our friendship if it means she has to cancel plans that she wants to do more.

You can't uninvite a bridesmaid to your wedding that's in 3 months. That's terribly rude. Everyone needs to focus on your wedding that day, not their sordid dating history. Tell them ALL to grow up.

Sounds like the GM is being an adult and your bridesmaid is being an adult, you are worrying about something that hasn't even happened. Let them be adults, all you have to do is seat them at different tables. They don't even have to speak the whole night.

Yes, you're wrong. You can't uninvite her; she's done nothing wrong at all and probably is being distant because she perhaps feels awkward about the breakup situation and how close you are with the groomsman. The groomsmen can deal with being around her for a night. It will have been at least 3 months from the breakup at that point. If he is still upset about the breakup after 3 months, that's on him and he's being dramatic (unless they're like married with kids or something). Seat them at different tables.

I've been to a wedding where it was a similar situation. Everyone agreed ahead of time to act like adults and she sat them away from each other. Easy enough

Geez! Why in the hell would a fight break out at your wedding? I think you're really overthinking this. Keep the BM, invite the BF and suck it up sister, this is what you signed up for. You need to have more faith in the people you trusted enough to be in your party.

My brother was a groomsmen in his old roommates wedding and his ex girlfriend of 5 years was there with her now husband and my brothers current girlfriend ended up having to sit at the same table. It was awkward but everyone made forced small talk and the world didn't stop spinning. Unfortunately they'll have to get over it. If it's that big of a deal for him or her then they need to make the decision to drop out of the wedding. Not you.

Thanks y'all are right they need to be adults.

I don't have anything useful to say, but I just want to point out that we are date twins and my name is also Ashley